This Piece of Writing Deserves a Level 7

This Piece of Writing Deserves a Level 7
It’s simple. I have worked my fingers to the bone to bring you this wonderful piece of writing that will most definitely be worthy of a level seven. I will use varied sentence length, pairs, sets of three, quotations, metaphors, similes and many more rhetorical devices to create a piece which you will not be able to take your eyes away from. You see Mr. Deane; this writing is like a magnificent and stunning cake – something which you cannot take your eyes from. Yes, this writing is a cake bursting with delicious cream and icing and chocolate, just waiting for you to sink your teeth deep into it. If this first paragraph has not convinced you that this is worthy of a level seven, then my next paragraph will do. Keep reading.
I had no trouble starting this paragraph. I may be right in saying this is unlike a few – if not many – people in my form who had trouble starting. This is not me. I have simply strived to string this braid of bubbling and beautiful words together. Do you not find the alliteration, sibilance, plosive sounds and onomatopoeia in the last sentence level seven worthy? I’m hard pressed to find a reason for not giving me a level seven, as, a great man like you can, I hope, see what is right in front of you – a level seven-worthy piece of writing. If can find a reason against me, then I implore you to keep reading, as you will come to see that by the end, that this piece of writing will deserve a level seven.
If you are still yet to be convinced, then I ask you, if this does not gain a level seven, what will the other teachers think of your educating? By giving this writing level seven, you will not only be gaining the love and appreciation and of one of your students, but also the admiration and respect of your fellow English teachers, who will find your ability to bring out the best writers amazing. This, I assure you, you will enjoy, and as Plutarch once said “The whole life of man is but a point of time;