And of course, without the language she uses, this would not be possible. The phrase repeated here is ‘all the way’. The protagonist uses this twice when explaining how far she must go to get paid. Berlin could have easily used this phrasing once or brought up the issue once. But repeating these words is essential. It allows us to see that the protagonist does not and will not edit herself. If there was a more dynamic word choice she would not feel as authentic as she does now. Another essential word that makes the protagonist authentic is ‘besides’. If this word was omitted, the sentence would have made perfect sense: ‘She never has change for carfare.’ However, the tone would change and readers might be taken out of the fictional dream with the change in diction. Most importantly, these first two examples take place on the first page, which sets up expectations. The main character is upset, frustrated with her occupation and she will tell us about the things that upset her in a way that is conversational. We feel, sentence by sentence and word by word, closer to
And of course, without the language she uses, this would not be possible. The phrase repeated here is ‘all the way’. The protagonist uses this twice when explaining how far she must go to get paid. Berlin could have easily used this phrasing once or brought up the issue once. But repeating these words is essential. It allows us to see that the protagonist does not and will not edit herself. If there was a more dynamic word choice she would not feel as authentic as she does now. Another essential word that makes the protagonist authentic is ‘besides’. If this word was omitted, the sentence would have made perfect sense: ‘She never has change for carfare.’ However, the tone would change and readers might be taken out of the fictional dream with the change in diction. Most importantly, these first two examples take place on the first page, which sets up expectations. The main character is upset, frustrated with her occupation and she will tell us about the things that upset her in a way that is conversational. We feel, sentence by sentence and word by word, closer to