Uncertainty Discretion Theory Used In An Episode Of How I Met Your Mother

In the field of Interpersonal Communication there are plenty of theories that can be applied to everyday life from Social penetration theory to Self-disclosure. For this paper though we will be exploring Uncertainty reduction theory and how it was applied in the television sitcom How I Met Your Mother. How I Met Your Mother was a sitcom that aired on CBS from 2005-2014 based on a group of 5 friends living in New York City. It follows the main character Ted Mosby on his quest to find true love and all the adventures that he goes through with his friends on that journey. For the rest of this paper we will dive into how the uncertainty reduction theory was used in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, and how the theory is applied in everyday
life. In this paper I’m setting out to prove that by using uncertainty reduction strategies in a virtual atmosphere compared to a natural setting, you’re less likely to like said person. Uncertainty reduction theory was created by two communication scholars named Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese. Essentially, the theory states that your level of uncertainty about a person, meaning the less you know about them the less you like that person. And as we continue to interact with a person our goal is to reduce our uncertainty about that person, by asking them questions, paying attention to nonverbal cues such as appearance, voice, and gestures. The reason this theory is so important to the field of interpersonal communication is, because if this theory is true it provides the basis for all communication interactions we have with each other. Every single time you’re communicating with another person it all ties back to this need to want to know more about that person. It’s a selfish thing that we as humans must satisfy, because when we don’t know anything about someone we feel uncomfortable it doesn’t sit well with us not being able to predict what this person will be like, what they might say, or even do. So, we go through the gestures of slowly getting to know a person through basic information of hobbies, hometown, and favorite foods. We do this all the way up to the level where you know very intimate things about a person. And we find that the more you know about a person the more likely it is you will like that person. Through uncertainty reduction theory people learn to form opinions about others and will cut off relationships when they find that trait that turns them off. Usually this happens early in the uncertainty reduction stages, because as I said earlier the more you get to know someone the more background knowledge you have on them the more you find you have in common with a person the more likely you are to enjoy their company. In season 7 episode 6 of How I Met Your Mother the main character Ted Mosby has recently had some bad luck on a string of dates due to social media. Before Ted would go on a date with a woman he would have his friends do a social media search of the woman and find out all the things that he wouldn’t have known or wanted to know if he had just gone on the date. Eventually he gets tired of this process and proceeds to go on a date without this background information. He urges his friends not to tell him anything about the girl he is going out. Ted coins the phrase he prefers “mystery over history.” He is essentially saying he’d rather not have his uncertainty about a person revealed to him before he gets a chance to meet the person and reduce the uncertainty himself and make his own assumptions and evaluations of people. Ted goes on the date with this woman, meanwhile his friends are back at home hanging out and they end up doing a web search of this woman and find out all these incredible details about her. The rest of the episode while Ted is on his date his friends are texting him a link to her social media page urging him to look at it. Ted tries to resist the urge to look at the information, but when his date runs to the bathroom he finally gives into the pressure and proceeds to find out that the woman he’s on a date with is the most incredible person ever. She’d graduated MIT by 19, saved someone’s life, raised millions for charity, and many other things. Instantly this seemingly normal woman becomes beyond intimidating as Ted ends up making a fool of himself trying so hard to impress her. In the end his date is a failure as he couldn’t resist the urge to reduce his uncertainty, unfortunately in doing so he ruined any chance he had with this woman. My theory states that by reducing uncertainty about a person in a virtual atmosphere compared to a natural interaction you’re becoming less likely to like someone. As demonstrated in the episode anytime Ted thinks he likes a girl, his friends swoop in and reveal all this information about her by going through her social media pages. Now according to the uncertainty reduction theory, the more you know about a person the more likely you are to like that person. That’s why we interact with other people have conversations, spend time together, have shared experiences, because the better you know that person the better you’ll like them. In this situation though I believe that by reducing your uncertainty in a virtual manner specifically through social media you’re hurting your chances at liking someone and eventually befriending them. There are a few reasons I believe this occurs first of which is the way information is exchanged. Normally when you interact with a person the rate at which you exchange information is symmetrical, but in an online setting information exchange is asymmetrical. What that means is normally when you’re communicating with a person you end up exchanging information on the same level. For example, in the show Ted learns what one of the girl’s favorite foods is then he would then respond with his favorite food. When using social media though you can find out all sorts of things such as if that person has any exes, or they’re political views all without you having to give up any information about yourself to the other person. This can be problematic as you can end up having an imbalance in what you know about the other person compared to what they know about you. Another reason is that unrealistic expectations can be formed when reducing uncertainty in a virtual medium.
People can form opinions of people solely on the way they appear on their social media pages. The halo effect and confirmation bias can apply as you may attribute positive attributes to a person just because they look good in a photo, and because you find this person attractive you want to like them so you search through their social media pages until you find what you’re looking for something that supports your belief that you’d like this person. All of this can be done without having a real interaction with a person, and when you do meet this person it can lead to a failure to live up to lofty expectations you’ve created in your own head. In an article titled When Online Meets Offline the authors quote research stating that (Jacobson 1999) “When reality cannot meet the expectations formed through computer-mediated interaction, MS diminishes communication processes and social outcomes.” This is exemplified in the episode when Ted finds out from his friends all this information about this woman and once he knows all of this information and his uncertainty about her is reduced he’s unable to communicate in an effective manner as this woman now has to live up to the unrealistic expectations that have been thrust upon her by Ted discovering this
information. Thirdly everyone uses social media in today’s day and age and it’s rare that you will meet someone and not eventually interact with them in an online setting.
Something that is problematic in online settings is that the disclosure process seems to move much faster. People who haven’t met in person tend to use uncertainty reduction processes to reduce their uncertainty of the other person in a very fast manner. According to (Gibbs, Ellison, Lai 2011) “participants who used uncertainty reduction strategies tended to disclose more personal information in terms of revealing private thoughts and feelings, suggesting a process whereby online dating participants proactively engage in uncertainty reduction activities to confirm the private information of others, which then prompts their own disclosure.” As we’ve seen in the show uncertainty reduction can lead to finding out some very private information about a person in a relatively quick time after meeting them. This type of information usually isn’t discovered in a face to face communication setting until later in a relationship. Another journal written (Ramirez Jr., Wang 2008) “Continuing to interact via CMC, provides information that is significantly less expected.” Once again this information supports my argument that engaging in uncertainty reduction strategies online leads to faster disclosure of more personal information which can lead to less likeness and less likelihood of becoming friends with that
person. Overall, in this paper we reviewed how in the television show How I Met Your Mother and I made the argument that uncertainty reduction can be a negative thing with regards to eventually liking someone when done in a virtual manner. I argued this first through the rate and type of information that is exchanged in a face to face encounter compared to uncertainty reduction done online. Secondly, I argued the point that when conducting uncertainty reduction online it can lead to unrealistic expectations for actual face to face communication and can lead to poor interactions. Thirdly, I made the point that uncertainty reduction when conducted online happens at a faster pace and can potentially lead to less likeness between you and the other person. Overall, I’ve made an argument that uncertainty reduction when conducted online can potentially lead to a negative correlation in likeness compared to how much you know about a person.