Unrealistic Expectations Lead to a Downfall

Unrealistic Expectations Lead To a Downfall It’s human nature to expect things in life to go the way one wants. Disappointments occur as this nature is never fulfilled, and maybe is on rare occasion. Candy for all three meals in a day is a desire of every child. That will never happen, and then they cry in frustration. Men and women around the world think promotions are always on the way, and are utterly upset when they learn it’s not true. Everyone is different, everyone has their own mindsets, and everyone wants to live their own way. This fact is not accepted by anyone, especially the main character of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Okoknwo. Okonkwo’s life was deeply affected by his own extremism, and his choice of living and dying on his own terms. Okonkwo never understood the concept of going with the flow or adjusting to circumstances. It started in his childhood. His father, Unoka, “had taken no title at all and he was heavily in debt” (Achebe 8). He was a poor farmer and a coward in war. The people of Umuofia called him an agbala, which means woman. Okonkwo was immensely ashamed by him, and his life was definitely affected because of him. “Okonkwo did not have the start in life which many young men usually had. He did not inherit a barn from his father. There was no barn to inherit,” (Achebe 16). In a perfect world, his father would have been a bloodthirsty warrior, with many wives and children, and a number of cowries. Okonkwo was narrow-minded, and this quality backfired in the form of shame and discontent. “He had no patience with unsuccessful men. He had no patience with his father,” (Achebe 2). Unoka never had the money to support his family, and this disgraced Okonkwo. Okonkwo was never able to understand his father and his different ways. Since Unoka was his father, he couldn’t say anything to him, but in his heart and mind, he meant nothing to Okonkwo. “Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory” – Douglas MacArthur. The son described in this quote is one who is ideal for Okonkwo. Being an opinionated person, Okonkwo was prevented from seeing how his son, Nwoye, could have prospered even if he didn’t shine the way his father wanted him to. Instead, he thought his son had a “despicable behavior” (Achebe 152). Dissatisfaction approached Okonkwo because he wanted Nwoye to be like him, and every other brave man in the world. “Why, he cried in his heart, should he, Okonkwo, of all people, be cursed with such a son?” (Achebe 152). This quote describes how Okonkwo sees Nwoye, as a curse. If Okonkwo hadn’t been so stubborn, and was willing to accept things as they were, then he and Nwoye would have had happier lives. A man of his own word, Okonkwo felt his actions and ways were the only right ones. He was also very conscious of how people thought of him; not showing weakness at all was his main struggle. At the end of the book, Achebe states that Okonkwo has committed suicide, which is considered evil in the Ibo society. “ ‘Dialogue’ It is an abomination for a man to take his life. It is an offense against the Earth,” (Achebe 207). He has knowingly made a permanent mark on himself and his family that will last for generations, but Okonkwo went on with what he feels is right. In order to not show weakness by letting the British finish him off, he ended his life the way he wanted to. Things fall apart, and people have to understand that, but they seldom do. Living our own way and having things done for us is great, but it is not reality. The child who cried for candy will grow up and learn that eating healthy is the right thing to do. Working men and women will be upset with their bosses, but they know promotions and better opportunities come with hard work. Okonkwo too should have realized the fact that life can get better, even when it doesn’t go his way. It is very interesting to note that how some people form rigid rules for themselves and opinions on the society in which they live. In turbulent times, one has to adapt to the rapid changes happening around them, and the inability to do that can cause their downfall. Once you get over this rigidity and inflexibility, and adjust to the situations around you, you can have a positive outlook towards life and strive to be a better person.