My dad was that daring little boy that would jump in the deep end of the pool not knowing how to swim. Although he knew he would drown every time he had to keep trying it until he realized he needed to begin in the shallow to become a great swimmer.
When I was about twelve years old my father was incarcerated. At thirty-six years old he was still trying to jump into the deep end without learning how to swim first. Instead of finishing high school and going to college he took the easy path and became a mechanic. A couple of years later, young and clueless, he met the wrong people and decided that he wanted to live extravagantly like them. He kept his job as a mechanic to cover up what he was doing on the side. We moved to a nicer house and bought luxurious cars, my sister and I had everything we could ever dream of. As he became more powerful in the drug industry our perfect little family grew apart. Although he fully supported us he stopped coming home at night and when he did he was drunk as could be. That’s when the domestic violence started; all I remember was we would have our bags packed and ready to go by the door, as soon as my dad pulled up in the front of the house we would run out the back door and go stay at a cheap motel. We lived like this for nine years and to be honest I felt bad for my dad it was like he kept drowning in the endless deepness of the pool with no possible way up. But despite every hardship he put us through he was everything in my eyes.
When he was incarcerated he my world was shredded to pieces. I was the little girl drowning in the deepness of the water, that couldn’t seem to find her way back up. I started doing horribly in school; I went from a straight A student to a student who sat in the back of the classroom to staring off into space. I didn’t care about school, and I felt that I had no reason to do well in school. I wanted to punish my dad for not being there for me, and show him that I needed him. I started acting up at home because I thought it would bring my dad back up from the dark deep water, but I was only drowning my mother and I deeper into the water.
One day I received a letter from my dad, it was the first one ever and he wrote it because he owed me an explanation. He explained to me that he didn’t go to college of finish high school because he was rebellious and just wanted to have fun. He said it was the biggest regret in his life and if I wanted to have to support my family in the future the way he had to then to continue on the path I was headed. But I still had time to come up from the deep dark water and revive myself so I can open my eyes to the beautiful sunshine. I didn’t want to have to live like that in the future. I would never want my kids to drown in the deepness of water but to instead float on top of the water.
I realized my dad was given an opportunity to come up from the water and revive himself to. He was incarcerated to realize that what he was doing was wrong and improve his life. He learned a lot while he was in there and came out a changed man. He had to make the mistake of jumping into the deep end and drowning before he could realize that he had to begin in the shallow first to become a great swimmer.
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