Weedlands

the woodlands 853 up, 147 down HAHA..
You know you live in the woodlands when....
- you can valet park at the mall
- your dad makes more money in one week than your government teacher does in an entire year
- it isnt exciting anymore to pass a lamborghini, ferrari, or bentley on the road any given day
- at school you park between an h2 and an escalade
- you see about 500 bmws a day
- every girl, starting at the age of 12, has a coach purse
- your best friend's pregnant
- you've never shared a bathroom in your life
- the Texan cheerleaders perform at your high school pep rally
- you can talk to someone in Illinois and they assume that you must be rich
- nick lachey sings at your prom
- you have to ask permission to paint your house
- your high school is rated the snobbiest in America according to David Letterman
- if you have nothing to do you buy some beer and drive around
- one haircut can change your reputation
- myspace takes the place of homework
- lunch tables are individual and round
- you pay someone to hang your christmas lights and mow your lawn
- the maids come every other wednesday
- your parents own multiple houses
- you go to jamaica, thailand, spain, belize, or the bahamas on a regular basis
- you suck if you dont get a beach house for prom
- you go skiing every year
- your school field trips include New York and Europe
- deaths and car accidents are usual
- your school has more people in it than some colleges
- you have to schedule an updo appt 6 months in advance if you want someone decent
- the sports teams travel in charter buses
- parties have top shelf liquor
- you go to a theme party every weekend
- they build your own skating rink in the winter
- there are only 3 cheap stores in the whole mall (and that's for the people who come to The Woodlands to shop but aren't actually from The Woodlands)
- when you need a plain white tank top and go to Bebe first
- you spend $95 on a christmas gift for your friend
- girls have 2 boyfriends
- nothing stays a secret
- about half the kids go to church, and out of that half only 10% actually follow religion faithfully
- your jeans cost the same price as ur video ipod
- mums cost $200
- if you dont have confidence or money, you are nothing
- you take your car to Aqua every week and just let someone else clean it
- there's a starbucks on every corner
- they put a tommy bahama's in..since those are mostly at vacation destinations (look it up)
- Fleming's is the new TGI Fridays
- you drop a quarter and just leave it cuz you dont feel like bending over for it
- you cant find your bmw at the mall, because there are 55 others just like it
- you see at least one new person in school every day
- you have a personal trainer
- you have the vbest new cell phone before it even comes out
- they serve Chic-Fil-A, Pizza Hut, Quiznos, and Smoothie King in ur school cafeteria
- you go buy Chanel glasses for yourself as a pity gift because you're having a bad day
- your dog is treated better than your sister
- you have a fridge in your room so that you dont have to go alllllll the way downstairs when you want a cold bottle of water
- you have more than one closet
- you're 17 and have a plastic surgeon
- a cheap mall trip only costs $500
- your driveway is gated
- you get fined if your fence isn't the right color or height
- just about every decent concert tour comes to the pavilion
- a decent date consists of dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and a walk through Market Street
- you hear parents talk about what a great "family community" this place is, and you hear your 13 year old sister talking about how wasted she and her friends got the night before.
- your orthodontist drives a porsche, at least when he isn't driver his other cars
- your friends are all gorgeous
- your diamonds are real
- you hook up with someone and by second period the next day, the whole school knows
- you get judged right away when people know where you are from
- you live on a Jack Nicklaus golf course
- your parents buy you multiple cars before you buy your own
- you can screw off in high school and college and still get a badass job cause your dad is a corporate executive with connections
- your football team could kick many colleges' football teams
- there are kids at your high school who can score perfectly on the ACT and SAT
- making millions of dollars from hard work and/or connections isn't even that attractive, it's the power that motivates
Town full of Rich Assholes who fuck their little sisters friends nightly. Where all kids have been drunk and/or high by the age of 12.
The Woodlands is made up of mainly scene kids, skater, gangsters, anime freaks and preps, that's about it. There's a REALLY ghetto part, where Wilkerson Intermediate and Knox Junior High schools are, and then it's also home to one of the top 2 schools in the nation, College Park. Everyone hangs out at the mall and a LOT of people live in appartments. There's a mix of very low class people and extremely high class. It's not exactly a great place to visit if you're a tourist but living here is tight. everywhere you go youll see atleast one scene person. If you wear a lot of abercrombie or hollister you're considered a whore. Girls lose their virginity when they're 14. if you dont smoke weed youve already moved on to bigger badder things.
Painted by many as a wholesome, family friendly community. One of the most prominent in Houston, with great schools and ambiance. Anyone who lives here will tell you that it is quite the opposite. Drugs are EVERYWHERE as are elitists and if your kid isnt an athlete; send them elsewhere because the schools here wont teach them anything other than how to judge people. Worst academic facilities anywhere.
The Woodlands is a cookie cutter town straight out of a suburbia catalogue. Unfortunately, there is no idividuality in the two high schools. Its pretty much a party hard or die a horrible bloody social death type of town, with absolutely nothing to do. Most people think this is the ideal place to raise their kids, but I dont find it cute to see my six year old brother come home from school singing about apple bottom jeans and dropping the f-bomb.
The town north of Houston with a population just under 100,000 where about 10% of the population is poor or middle class, and the rest are...not. It is a town where people are supposed to cherish the environment through several programs and the environmentally friendly layout of the town, yet many residents own/are involved with oil companies. It is a town where all parents talk about what a "family-friendly community" it is, while their kids smoke crack and have an orgy in the backyard because they're too busy going to yoga classes to notice. It is a town where The John Cooper School is located...the well-known private school where most students get a sports car for their 16th birthday (not an exaggeration), and some millionaires are considered poor. It is a town where in the PUBLIC SCHOOLS, a kid driving a 2003 BMW is considered poor. It is a town where the first ad you see in the local magazine is either Gucci, Lamborghini, or Rolex. It is a town where, when in an aircraft, one might mistake a neighborhood for an unusually close group of Walmarts. It is a town where most residents under the age of 8 don't know what a Walmart is. It is a town where a 10-year-old without an iPhone is an outcast. It is a town where despite a "love of the environment", the plant people tend to love the most there is weed. It is a town where that is the only kind of weed people are aware of, because they all have gardeners.
The least ghetto town in the world, The Woodlands is home to the #1 snobbiest high school in the United States, as named by Larry King himself. Despised throughout Texas for our superiority in everything except academics because the student population is mostly stoned off of their ass (all the time).