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In his Wheel Theory of Love, Reiss theorized that love develops over a duration of time, and must consist of four processes; rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependence and intimacy, where each process leads to the next (Gene, n.d). The theory states that the processes are interdependent and therefore must coexist. Self revelation and rapport building require effective communication. That is, there must be a two way communication where each person gives information which is properly understood by the recipient (Franck, 2003). Communication is usually thought to be either verbal or written. However, it is important to note that body language forms an integral part of communication. There must be sync between verbal communication and body language. Otherwise, the recipient might misinterpret the message.
Williams, Sawyer, & Wahlstrom (2006) stated that effective communication is of high importance in any given relationship, without which, the relationship may fail as a result of misunderstandings. Even then, communication must exhibit honesty and truthfulness. These are essential for building trust and dependability. Understanding the other person’s likes, dislikes and expectations is important for the long term stability of a marriage. In most cases, divorce is as a result of misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations. Strong, DeVault, & Cohen (2011) stated that homogamy and endogamy refer to non-mixed marriages. Heterogamy and exogamy on the other hand refer to mixed marriages. Heterogamy and exogamy in most cases is associated with differences in religion, ethnicity, or age. Effective communication is as essential in homogamous marriages as it is in heterogamous ones. However, due to the larger differences between persons in heterogamous relationships, increased communication is required so as to overcome the barriers. For example, while there is a pre-existing understanding of cultural norms and expectations in endogamous cultures, making it unnecessary to explore cultural differences during self revelation, exogamous couples must explore cultural differences to avoid culture related conflicts.
Over the recent past, heterogamous marriages have been on a rise. This can be attributed to the fact that the traditional rigid norms that discouraged heterogamy are changing due to secularization and other aspects of the modern world. For example, while it was common practice in the past for royalties to marry from other royal families, recent times have seen princes marry commoners. Researchers attribute this to increased social mobility where there is an increased interaction between people of different social status, cultures, and religion. That means that social integration, openness and the interaction between various social groups is on the rise. The increase in heterogamy can also be discussed using the concept of marriage market.
When people are searching for potential partners, they have defined features or qualities of a perfect match in mind. Those couples that fit well normally have sufficiently compatible characteristics (Janssen, 2001, p. 4). Among the theories that explain the market selection of partners are the exchange theory, the traditional exchange and the marriage gradient theories. The exchange theory states that people choose the most rewarding but cheapest relationships. That way, the choice of a partner is influenced by status, age, origin etc. The traditional exchange theory states that women trade their child bearing abilities, as well as the ability to perform domestic chores for social status, and protection from men. Finally, the marriage gradient theory states that women are most likely to marry men who rank above them in society. These considerations largely promote heterogamy. However, despite this desire to go after preferred candidates, the Weiss’ Wheel Theory of Love must apply. The four processes; rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependence and intimacy must take place for a relationship to blossom. For the processes to take place, effective communication must exist so as to initiate the first two processes, that is, rapport building and self-revelation. Therefore, effective communication, the concepts of the marriage market and the wheel theory of love are intertwined.
References
Franck, L. C. (2003). Effective Communication. University of Maine.
Gene. (n.d). Marriage and Family: Friendship, Love, and Commitment. Retrieved January 2,
2014, from Restoration Journal: http://www.grhouse.org/tsu/family/love.htm
Janssen, J. (2001). Do Opposites Attract Divorce? Dimensions of Mixed Marriage and the Risk of Divorce in the Netherlands. Radboud University. Nijmegen: Radboud Repository.
Strong, B., DeVault, C., & Cohen, T. F. (2011). The Marriage and Family Experience (11 ed.).
Belmont: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
Williams, B., Sawyer, S., & Wahlstrom, C. (2006). Marriages, Families and Intimate
Relationships: A Practical Introduction, 1/E. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
References: Franck, L. C. (2003). Effective Communication. University of Maine. Gene. (n.d). Marriage and Family: Friendship, Love, and Commitment. Retrieved January 2, 2014, from Restoration Journal: http://www.grhouse.org/tsu/family/love.htm Janssen, J. (2001). Do Opposites Attract Divorce? Dimensions of Mixed Marriage and the Risk of Divorce in the Netherlands. Radboud University. Nijmegen: Radboud Repository. Strong, B., DeVault, C., & Cohen, T. F. (2011). The Marriage and Family Experience (11 ed.). Belmont: Wadsworth Cengage Learning. Williams, B., Sawyer, S., & Wahlstrom, C. (2006). Marriages, Families and Intimate Relationships: A Practical Introduction, 1/E. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.