What Makes Marriage Last - Older Adults in Long-Term Marriages
What Makes Marriages Last: Older Adults and Long-Term Marriages
Studies about successful long-term marriages are important in assisting social and mental health professionals, theorists and researchers provide accurate data in order to develop successful counseling and instruction towards successful matrimonial unions. Couples who express satisfaction in their long-term marriage relationships are often found to have been successful in five particular areas of communication and support, including commitment to each other, deeply caring and great compassion for each other, focus on each other and shared values and goals, physical intimacy, and reliance upon each other (Connidis, 2010, p. 53). While marriages and the success or downfalls thereof are not always able to be defined in black and white, in reference to clinical research findings, research and family theories provide a valuable window into the building blocks of strong marriages. It is in this respect we examine some of the main points of successful long-term marriages.
Communication, Support, and Commitment
Systems theory explains that the parts of any system must be in communication in order for the system to function (Winek, 2010, p. 15) and that without good communication in a marriage the nurture and growth and thereby support of the relationship will not be successful. Communication is verbal and non-verbal. Signals that a spouse is listening and caring to his partner can include soft looks and touches while each are speaking, leaning in to listen to each other, and turning one’s body in the direction of the other person. These actions and the manner in which each relay information to the other is an important means of communicating that, regardless the topic, they are respecting and caring for the other person and valuing each other’s contribution to the relationship.
Support is a key ingredient in a secure relationship and is irrevocably a basic building block of
Studies about successful long-term marriages are important in assisting social and mental health professionals, theorists and researchers provide accurate data in order to develop successful counseling and instruction towards successful matrimonial unions. Couples who express satisfaction in their long-term marriage relationships are often found to have been successful in five particular areas of communication and support, including commitment to each other, deeply caring and great compassion for each other, focus on each other and shared values and goals, physical intimacy, and reliance upon each other (Connidis, 2010, p. 53). While marriages and the success or downfalls thereof are not always able to be defined in black and white, in reference to clinical research findings, research and family theories provide a valuable window into the building blocks of strong marriages. It is in this respect we examine some of the main points of successful long-term marriages.
Communication, Support, and Commitment
Systems theory explains that the parts of any system must be in communication in order for the system to function (Winek, 2010, p. 15) and that without good communication in a marriage the nurture and growth and thereby support of the relationship will not be successful. Communication is verbal and non-verbal. Signals that a spouse is listening and caring to his partner can include soft looks and touches while each are speaking, leaning in to listen to each other, and turning one’s body in the direction of the other person. These actions and the manner in which each relay information to the other is an important means of communicating that, regardless the topic, they are respecting and caring for the other person and valuing each other’s contribution to the relationship.
Support is a key ingredient in a secure relationship and is irrevocably a basic building block of
References: Carstensen, L. L., Fung, H. H., & Charles, S. T. (2003). Socioemotional selectivity theory and the regulation of emotion in the second half of life. Motivation and Emotion, 27(2), 103-123. Carstensen, L., Gottman, J., & Levenson, R. (1995). Emotional behavior in long-term marriage. Psychology and Aging, 10(1), 140-149. Connidis, I. A. (2009). Family ties & aging. (Second ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. Henry, D., & Vezner, J. (1989). Where’ve you been [Recorded by K. Mattea]. On Willow in the wind [CD]. Nashville: Polygram Records. Ng, C. (2011, October 19). Iowa couple married 72 years dies holding hands, an hour apart. ABC News. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/US/iowa-couple-married-72-years-dies-holding-hands/story?id=14771029 Winek, J. L. (2010). Systems family therapy: from theory to practice. (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.