'What We Talk About When We Talk About Love'

In the beginning of “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” Mel’s talk about spiritual love meant the most to me. I have always been very strong spiritually, and very strong in my faith and love with God. Throughout the conversations in “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” there are three main types of love discussed. Mel has stories trying to pinpoint true love, Nick and Laura are newlyweds that think they are in love, and Terri looks at love from an abusive standpoint. Mel makes many comments about his viewpoints on love; through those comments, the reader is able to tell that Mel looks at love as a spiritual aspect. Mel is the first one to speak stating that he thought true love was “nothing less than spiritual love” (Carver,
p.656). Mel looks back at his years in seminary as the most important time in his life, even though he dropped out to go to medical school. Mel also spoke about a story from the hospital. There was an elderly couple that had been in a bad accident. They were both in casts and bandages from head to toe. Eventually the man started getting very depressed. He wasn’t depressed about the accident. He was depressed that he was not able to see his wife through the eyeholes of his casts. This made Mel mad. He stated, “ the man’s heart was breaking because he couldn’t turn his godd**n head and see his godd**n wife. It was killing the old fart because he couldn’t look at the fu**ing woman” (Carver, p 664). It was obvious this irritated Mel. Though Mel might not have been sure what love was, he was definitely sure he knew what love was not, and he often tells Terri that abusive love is not true love.
Terri felt strong about the fact that true love was abusive. “Terri said the man she lived with before she lived with Mel loved her so much that he almost killed her” (Carver, p 656). She stated that, “ He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the living room by my ankles.” He kept saying, “I love you, I love you b**ch” (Carver, p 656, 657). Mel is the first to speak up and say that is not true love. Terri still believes that there is still love there. Laura is brought into the conversation. She talks about not being able to judge another person's situation. Terri then states, “When I left, he drank rat poison” (Carver, p657). That statement shows that Terri feels that he had true love for her because he was willing to kill himself when she left. Nick and Laura demonstrate that they think they know what love is through their actions throughout the story, and Laura stating, “Well, Nick and I know what love is” ( Carver, p659). They are newlyweds that haven’t really encountered relationship problems yet. They are still in the honeymoon phase. They are often kissing and blushing around each other. Nick says, "In addition to being in love, we like each other and enjoy one another's company. She's easy to be with." ( Carver, 659). They believe they have the true perfect love and know exactly what love
is. Throughout the story, we hear Nick, Laura, Mel, and Terri’s viewpoints on love. All of their viewpoints are extremely different, but could also be very realistic. In my opinion, true love is just an illusion. Many people can have true love in different ways. To Terri, it was abusive and disturbing. To Mel it was in a spiritual form. To Nick and Laura, it was a very physical and stereotypical view on what love is. In the end, there truly isn't a defined way for true love. It ultimately depends on the people and their situation.