Wilson's Four Laws Of Relationships And Hurt People
Theory Critique Paper
Wilson
By
Jenny L. Owings
Presented to
Dr. Rev. Mario Garcia
In partial fulfillment of the requirements of
Theology of Spirituality
PACO 507
Liberty Baptist Theology Seminary
Lynchburg, Virginia
February 12, 2012
Summary In this paper I will be examining the Wilson’s four laws of relationships which is hurt people hurt people. In her book Wilson examines the fact that most of a person’s problems in adult hood have to do with childhood problems and childhood solutions. (Wilson p.85) When a child suffers abuse he learns to cope through several forms of escape. This can often result in the child drifting off into a dark fantasy word with an unhealthy lust to for power to control their environment. …show more content…
The occult can often be dabbled in at this stage as a thirst to control ones environment. (Wilson p.62) However, when a child learns to justify the abuse because something is wrong with them it results in binding shame. This is binding shame, the feeling which the person never feels good enough. This leads to feelings of worthlessness which can detrimentally affect relationships. (Wilson 16-18) Furthermore, the public appearance of being the perfect family confuses the child and often leads to unhealthy loyal allegiance. (Wilson p.57) These negative childhood problems have very damaging ways of looking at spiritual issues resulting in often negative views of understanding God. For example, the child who accepts the abusive behavior and is always trying to please the abuser will learn that they can only please God by performance. This can lead to religious behavior to try to be better to earn God’s love rather than having a security that God accepts them just the way they are. (Wilson p.78) In Wilson’s theory of change she stresses making new choices with consistent practice which ultimately result in change. (Wilson p.87)
Evaluation The main essence to all change is the Holy Spirit which brings about eternal significance.
One has to change their choices to bring about change. This entails changing the erroneous childhood perceptions. As Paul states. We must, “Put away childish things.” I Cor. 13:11 The Bible emphasizes in Proverbs 14:8 the difference between the wise and the foolish. The foolish person is deceived, outwardly and inwardly. (Wilson. P.89) The child who grows up in abuse is often striving to please and masters at keeping secrets, living in deception. The family brainwashes them into looking at their false view of reality verses the truth. The acceptance of the deceptive thinking as a child often paralyzes the adult from knowing what a proper adult relationship is. (Wilson p. 165) The counselor’s job is to expose this deceptive lie and have the counselee admit to the truth. This will free the person up from the bands of deception thus paving the way for God to heal the wounds of the past. The abused child has more difficulty in trusting God because they have learned to believe God loves based on what we do not because of who he is. The practice of relearning God as a loving parent and meditating on God in the eyes of Jesus by studying his attributes can help an individual develop a truthful, loving concept of God. (Wilson p.193) This must be the first step to change and healing. Furthermore, by separating the lies form the truths taught in childhood we can further look. We have to be able to recognize our most sensitive hidden emotions and be able to discuss them to bring about change. The person terrorized by shame may suggest they have no shame when in truth they are deceived (Wilson p.107) In turn, this deception blocks God from being able to step in our lives and heal us. We must be able to be broken in the sight of God acknowledging our faults and God will help us through his Holy Spirit to achieve peace. One must stand up for truth to tear down the lies
in the past. Hence, the first step to real change is to renew our mind to the truth of God’s word. (Romans 12) This truth exposes all darkness and deception. Hence, like the Chinese proverb states, “If we don’t change our direction we will end up the way we are headed.”
Wilson
By
Jenny L. Owings
Presented to
Dr. Rev. Mario Garcia
In partial fulfillment of the requirements of
Theology of Spirituality
PACO 507
Liberty Baptist Theology Seminary
Lynchburg, Virginia
February 12, 2012
Summary In this paper I will be examining the Wilson’s four laws of relationships which is hurt people hurt people. In her book Wilson examines the fact that most of a person’s problems in adult hood have to do with childhood problems and childhood solutions. (Wilson p.85) When a child suffers abuse he learns to cope through several forms of escape. This can often result in the child drifting off into a dark fantasy word with an unhealthy lust to for power to control their environment. …show more content…
The occult can often be dabbled in at this stage as a thirst to control ones environment. (Wilson p.62) However, when a child learns to justify the abuse because something is wrong with them it results in binding shame. This is binding shame, the feeling which the person never feels good enough. This leads to feelings of worthlessness which can detrimentally affect relationships. (Wilson 16-18) Furthermore, the public appearance of being the perfect family confuses the child and often leads to unhealthy loyal allegiance. (Wilson p.57) These negative childhood problems have very damaging ways of looking at spiritual issues resulting in often negative views of understanding God. For example, the child who accepts the abusive behavior and is always trying to please the abuser will learn that they can only please God by performance. This can lead to religious behavior to try to be better to earn God’s love rather than having a security that God accepts them just the way they are. (Wilson p.78) In Wilson’s theory of change she stresses making new choices with consistent practice which ultimately result in change. (Wilson p.87)
Evaluation The main essence to all change is the Holy Spirit which brings about eternal significance.
One has to change their choices to bring about change. This entails changing the erroneous childhood perceptions. As Paul states. We must, “Put away childish things.” I Cor. 13:11 The Bible emphasizes in Proverbs 14:8 the difference between the wise and the foolish. The foolish person is deceived, outwardly and inwardly. (Wilson. P.89) The child who grows up in abuse is often striving to please and masters at keeping secrets, living in deception. The family brainwashes them into looking at their false view of reality verses the truth. The acceptance of the deceptive thinking as a child often paralyzes the adult from knowing what a proper adult relationship is. (Wilson p. 165) The counselor’s job is to expose this deceptive lie and have the counselee admit to the truth. This will free the person up from the bands of deception thus paving the way for God to heal the wounds of the past. The abused child has more difficulty in trusting God because they have learned to believe God loves based on what we do not because of who he is. The practice of relearning God as a loving parent and meditating on God in the eyes of Jesus by studying his attributes can help an individual develop a truthful, loving concept of God. (Wilson p.193) This must be the first step to change and healing. Furthermore, by separating the lies form the truths taught in childhood we can further look. We have to be able to recognize our most sensitive hidden emotions and be able to discuss them to bring about change. The person terrorized by shame may suggest they have no shame when in truth they are deceived (Wilson p.107) In turn, this deception blocks God from being able to step in our lives and heal us. We must be able to be broken in the sight of God acknowledging our faults and God will help us through his Holy Spirit to achieve peace. One must stand up for truth to tear down the lies
in the past. Hence, the first step to real change is to renew our mind to the truth of God’s word. (Romans 12) This truth exposes all darkness and deception. Hence, like the Chinese proverb states, “If we don’t change our direction we will end up the way we are headed.”