World on a Turtles Back Summary

Okay, so there's this place called the Sky World, and there lives a man and his wife who is expecting a child. And there's a tree in the center of the Sky World that no being is allowed to eat from. *sounds familliar?* Don't touch the tree, don't eat from the tree, don't pee on the tree, don't look at the tree, don't think about the tree! Well guess what? The wife is having her weird craving as most pregnant women do and she demands of her husband to get the tree's roots so she can eat them. He's like "But we's not suppose to," and she's like "GIMME FOODZ!" so he goes and starts digging up the tree roots and he breaks a hole in the sky and he's like "OMG" and runs away and then the wife is like "FINE I'll get it myself" so she goes to the tree and sticks her head down the hole to see what she can see, and she sees the sea. The she falls down the hole, and birds carry her onto the back of a turtle and she offers to plant the roots she got from the tree for them to grow foodz but there's no dirt on the giant flying ball of water we call Earth, so all the little animals start swimmin' down to reach the bottom and find dirt but none of them can do it, and then the Muskrat is like "I can do it!" So he swims down down down, and doesn't come back. Then his little drenched body floats to the top and he has dirt in his cold little pawns, and then the other animals performe CPR and he's okay, and there was much rejoycing. Then the woman put the dirt on the turtles back and walked around it in the same way the sun goes around the earth (technically we orbit the sun, not the other way around but they don't know that so shh!) and the dirt grows, until there is enough to plant the roots, which she does, and stuff grows, and then she has her baby and it's a little girl. YAY FOR GIRLS! And the Mom and the Daughter walk around the dirt and then a random guy appears while her mother is doing swim arrobics, and the daughter is like "OMG he's so hot" and faints. Then the random guy takes a blunt arrow and a sharp arrow and places them across her body, and somehow that got her pregnant with twins. O_o ..... Anyway the twins are fighting all the time in their mommie's tummy. The Right Handed One wants to be born naturally while the Left Handed One... we don't know what the Hell he's thinking but when the time comes for them to be born Righty comes out normal, and Lefty crawls out his mother's ARM PIT and she dies. So Righty is like "YOU KILL OUR MAHMMEH!" and they fight all the time. They burry their mother and she grows different plants from different parts of her body, like corn from her head, and wheit from her limbs, and tobacco from her heart. (why????) And the Grand Ma likes Lefty best. And the boys learn to play with clay. Righty made the Deer, so there were many deer leaping about in the woods on the Super Turtle's back and Lefty is like "I KEEL UR DEERZ" and he makes the Mountain Lion, who eats the deer. So Righty says "Your Lions can get my Ground Squirrels!" and he makes squirrels. The Lefty says "No, but my Weasles can!" ans the squirrels get eats'd. And they go on and on and on and on and on and on and on until they make all our litte animals that love to kill and eat each other. Isn't that precious? Now Righty wants Lefty dead, so they fight some more. They play a gambling game, and by the end of the day neither had won. Then they play Lacross (OMG it's a Native American sport! COOL) and neither wins. Then they beat each other with clubs and nobody wins, but there's lots of head injuries. :( So they fight for years to come until they discover some psychoanalysis and realize that deep deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down their personalities are switched. So at the final battle Lefty picks up a stick, and Righty picks up a deer's antler (hopefully not still attached to the deer. O.o) and he pokes his brother. Lefty explodes into millions of Diety Shrapnal and sinks into the underworls cuz it's like he's dead only different. Then Righty goes back to his Grand Ma and she's like "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" and he gets pissed and rips off his Grand Ma's head (familly issues much?) and throws her body into the sea, and her head into the sky, where it becomes the Moon. Now Righty rules the day, and Lefty rules the night with his Grandma, and there was much rejoycing. END!