Your Self-Disclosure – to Whom Do You Reveal Yourself?

What is self-disclosure? Self-disclosure is purposefully providing information about yourself to others that they would not learn if you did not tell them (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, p. 53). Self-disclosure can range from revealing innocuous information about yourself, such as where you live, work, to admitting you deepest secrets. Disclosing certain information conveys your level of trust and acceptance of the other person. Not revealing personal information reduces the chances of others using that information against oneself but inevitably, people still reveal information about themselves on a day to day basis, especially to family and friends, and sometimes even strangers or acquaintances for various reasons. Self-disclosure is the primary way we establish and maintain interpersonal relationships (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, p. 54). Your own self-awareness is you understanding of who you (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, p. 54). In order to disclose personal information to others you must first be aware of whom you are.
I believe that self-disclosure is an important part of any relationship. It helps to bring two people closer. In general, I believe it is good, but as with all things, there has to be limits. I myself set many limits on who I share information about myself with and how much I share. When in public, I try to display as little about myself as possible. I only let people know what I feel is necessary. When I meet new people, I will share information like my name, religion, age, and where I am from. Depending on what exactly we are discussing, I will share more information to find commonalities.
I come from a family with four children, me being the oldest. My Mother’s side of the family has many aunts and uncles and cousins. In our family, everybody knows everybody’s business. It doesn’t matter whether you want everyone in the family to know your business. If you tell one then they all know. I probably take after my Dad and his family. He was diagnosed with cancer in 2006. After battling the disease for two years he passed away. During his illness you never heard him complain from pain. He dealt with it. Now that didn’t mean he couldn’t be irritable, but to him it was a private matter. While I know he appreciated all the thoughts and prayers people said for him, he was uncomfortable with people knowing he was sick. I think he wished that everyone (sisters, brothers, neighbors, and my mom’s church family) would just leave him alone and let him handle the situation on his own. He didn’t like being the center of attention.
Even with my family I don’t disclose how I’m feeling. When I was pregnant with my first child I went into labor during the midday and wanted to wait to go to the hospital until absolutely the last minute. I know that isn’t how most people react when getting ready to deliver their first child. I just didn’t want all the hoopla with my family, who would go completely crazy when I announced that I was in pain. I even was on the telephone with my Aunt, who is the closest person to me in the world, for over two hours that day and never mentioned that I thought I was in labor. It wasn’t until after I got to the hospital and saw the doctor and knew for sure that he was going to keep me did I let my husband call in the troops (my family). I still get in trouble for this even after twenty years later. I guess I am so private that even when I am in pain I don’t want to share it with anyone. Now most of my family things it is because I’m not a complainer and maybe they are correct.
I don’t like to complain to anyone especially if there is nothing that anybody can do about a situation. I just deal with things myself. Whether it is a financial concern on how we are going to pay our car payment during the month or where we are going to get the money to buy a new prom dress for my teenage daughter. I manage. On some occasions I will tell my Mom or my Aunt that I would like some help to ease the burden, but at the end of the day I know I can only rely on myself.
In the Johari Window of Self-Disclosure I feel that I am more of a “hidden” person. Quadrant 3 of the Johari Window of Self-Disclosure is the hidden area. This area contains information that you know about yourself, but that others do not know about you (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, p. 54)