A One Man Army

There comes a point in life when it seems like everything doesn’t matter. All of the memories, achievements, and life-altering moments come down to one simple question, life or death? For most it happens in the late years of life. Yet, I faced it on one cold, dark night in early November. Did I want to live or did I want to die? Almost everyone will tell you that death is inevitable, nobody can cheat life and beat death. I had the option, death is inevitable, but I wanted to end my life early. Every morning was a struggle to convince myself to wake up. I was a happier person when I was asleep. It became a sad fact. My life had become a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare and you're so relieved, I woke up to my nightmare. Depression is a complicated condition. No one can cure depression, it isn’t like needing a kidney transplant. I wasn’t aware of the seriousness of depression until I found myself in the dead center of it. On a Friday night in early November my struggle with depression had led to a new low point. Sleep took the place of friends and family. I was at a point of complete self-destruction. My friends, along with almost the whole community, were at a football pep rally. I had chosen to stay home and fall into a near coma on my living room couch. I was awoken by three of my close friends shaking me and speaking about a slumber party over at one of their houses. I politely turned down their offer, and started to fall asleep again. My mother had known of my emotional shaky grounds and told my friends I would be unable to attend. My friends knew I was having a bad day and wanted to get me out of "my funk." Nobody knew that it wasn’t just a bad day, or even week. I had been living with depression for most of my young life. My mother and I finally gave in, I figured if it made them happy to try and cheer me up, what was the harm? They took me to a pond by my house where my best friend awaited us. I was for the least I can say