Attraction Theories
Peers and Relationships - Relationship Notes
Why do we need relationships?
Need to affiliate – life in solitude would be impossible to bear because of our innate need to compare ourselves with others.
Need for intimacy – Very important for our well-being (McAdams 1988)
Need to belong – the need to belong is a powerful, fundamental and extremely pervasive motivation.
Why is it important to relate to others?
Social attachments important for survival
Ancestors: by belonging in a group it meant survival (hunting and gathering etc)
Imprisoned, exiled people: would be more at risk for depression, longing to be with their families, reports that time goes by more slowly and that life is meaningless (Twenge et al 2003)
Death or the possibility of it strengthens the need to belong (Wisman and Koole, 2003)
What happens when our need to belong gets disrupted?
Ostracism
Being ostracized: ignored, excluded, made an outcast
Leaves people feeling deflated, stressed, frustrated, depressed, angry
Importance of relating to others
1. Children who grow up with neglect of in institutions are more likely to face depression, anxiety and aggression problems (Hildyard and Wolfe, 2002)
2. Belongingness appears to have multiple and strong effects on emotional patterns and on cognitive processes.
3. Lack of attachments is linked to a variety of ill effects on health, adjustment, and well-being (Beaumeister and Leary, 2002)
Cyber –Ostracism
1. Williams et al 2000: cyber ostracism 1486 participants, 62 countries.
- Played online game of throwing a disk to another two players (these two were computer generated players)
- Ostracized participants experienced unhappy moods, and their brain activity was similar to physical pain.
Ostracism and Rejection Research
Ostracised groups
High rates of aggression
Anti social behavior
Disobedience
Poor intellectual performance
Self-destructive acts
Hostility
Columbine
Why do we need relationships?
Need to affiliate – life in solitude would be impossible to bear because of our innate need to compare ourselves with others.
Need for intimacy – Very important for our well-being (McAdams 1988)
Need to belong – the need to belong is a powerful, fundamental and extremely pervasive motivation.
Why is it important to relate to others?
Social attachments important for survival
Ancestors: by belonging in a group it meant survival (hunting and gathering etc)
Imprisoned, exiled people: would be more at risk for depression, longing to be with their families, reports that time goes by more slowly and that life is meaningless (Twenge et al 2003)
Death or the possibility of it strengthens the need to belong (Wisman and Koole, 2003)
What happens when our need to belong gets disrupted?
Ostracism
Being ostracized: ignored, excluded, made an outcast
Leaves people feeling deflated, stressed, frustrated, depressed, angry
Importance of relating to others
1. Children who grow up with neglect of in institutions are more likely to face depression, anxiety and aggression problems (Hildyard and Wolfe, 2002)
2. Belongingness appears to have multiple and strong effects on emotional patterns and on cognitive processes.
3. Lack of attachments is linked to a variety of ill effects on health, adjustment, and well-being (Beaumeister and Leary, 2002)
Cyber –Ostracism
1. Williams et al 2000: cyber ostracism 1486 participants, 62 countries.
- Played online game of throwing a disk to another two players (these two were computer generated players)
- Ostracized participants experienced unhappy moods, and their brain activity was similar to physical pain.
Ostracism and Rejection Research
Ostracised groups
High rates of aggression
Anti social behavior
Disobedience
Poor intellectual performance
Self-destructive acts
Hostility
Columbine