One of the many memorable scenes in Lac Su’s memoir, I Love Yous Are for White People, takes place in Chapter Four. It is the scene where Lac’s father takes his family out to buy their first restaurant meal. I find it a very interesting and hilarious scene. Pa receives some extra food stamps from Uncle Sam, so he decides to take his family out to the restaurant around the corner of their house. Obviously, this is the first time of them eating in the American restaurant; therefore, everything is kind of new for them. Since the only one who knows English in the family is Lac, it is not quite easy for them to order foods. The family has to order food through Lac, or they point at the pictures on the menu to order. Even when the food arrives at their table, which are hamburgers and French fries, they still do not know what those are and how to eat them. Lac’s father even asks him if they need to use chopsticks to eat the hamburgers, and says the other patrons are savages when he sees they eat hamburgers with their bare hands. When they are done eating and the bill comes, the father pays the bill with the stamp foods, and it drives the waitress crazy when she keeps explaining to Lac’s father that the restaurant doesn’t take stamp foods but he doesn’t understand what she says. However, when the manager comes to their table to solve the problem, he accepts it. He takes all the stamp foods and twelve dollars cash and jettison the family out. This is a very hilarious scene in the memoir, and I remember this scene the most throughout the whole book.…
In the book written by Amy Chua titled Battle Hyman of the Tiger the author compares the different cultural upbringings between “tiger mother” a Chinese American women and her spouse, Jed a man from a liberal Jewish background. The Chinese mother was raised by what Westerners would considered to be strict, in regards to parenting. As a child her parents gave her very strict rules, curfew, academics, extracurricular activities were all under her parent’s complete dictation. “The tiger mother” uses these rules as well to prepare her children for success. Childhood to her, was remembered as an area in life where as a parent they would train their children to be strong, confident and successful. Jed, the father…
In the book “I Love Yous Are for White People” Lac’s quest for acceptance takes him through an intense journey to acquire self love and acceptance. The author Lac Su navigates through his childhood and adolescence seeking an extraordinary desire for love, acceptance and belonging he has been deprived from by his family. During his journey, Lac attempts to gain acceptance by friends and family, no matter what the consequences are.…
In the article, Adapted from Battle of Hymn of the Tiger Mother the author Amy Chua’s intent is to describe the differences between Chinese and Western parenting styles. She begins by explaining her personal parenting style and although her parenting style brings controversy it also demonstrates what a parent will do in order to help their children be successful. After all, a parent’s true purpose is to do what is best for their children.…
There are four main parenting styles, permissive, Authoritarian, Authoritative and Uninvolved parenting. Permissive parenting is very relaxed, there believe is children are capable of making their decision on their own with some parenting advice. Authoritarian parents have high expectations for their children their also very strict they like their kids to follow completely. Authoritative parents are strict, and very loving. Authoritative parents involve a delicate balance of expectations and demands in a fair and responsive environment. They are open minded about rules and issues, they will listen and consider the child’s opinion and viewpoints. Uninvolved parents neglect their children. Their children are emotionally distance…
The power of parenting is clearest at the extremes: the abused children who become abusive, the neglected who become neglectful, the loved but firmly handled who become self-confident and socially competent. The power of the family environment also appears in the remarkable academic and vocational successes of children of people who fled from Vietnam and Cambodia—successes attributed to close-knit, supportive, even demanding families (p. 147).…
Sociologist Jeanne Ballantine describes authoritative parenting as “demanding and responsive, controlling but not restrictive” like authoritarian practices. (Ballantine) This parenting style makes compromises between parent and child. (King) There is still a sense of control, but the relationship between parent and child are more understanding and are able to talk things through when there is a dilemma using warmth and nurture. (King, 288) Ballantine and The Science of Psychology textbook describe children that have been raised under authoritative parents have “higher levels of competence, social development, self-perception, and mental health than those raised in authoritarian, permissive, or neglectful homes.” (King,…
4. Lac Suh, I Love Yous Are for White People: A Memoir (P.S.) (Harper Perennial, 2009). ISBN 978-0061543661.…
Although America’s ideals have radically changed over the decades, white privilege still runs rampant. As a general rule, in society, whites are still regarded as the most powerful and most successful. When the average U.S. citizen thinks of the “typical American man”, the image of a white, forty-something, financially well-off business executive may come to their mind; in other words, a man of high rank and superiority. It isn’t that they don’t believe in another race’s success, it’s the fact that most times, when another race gains power, whites find ways to patronize that power or shut it down. In the past, whites have been huge culprits behind discrimination and oppression, and that power alone keeps the success cycle going. Through every generation, equality has rapidly grown, but the fact that it wasn’t established as a basic human right in the first place shows the complete egotistical arrogance whites have shown and still, to a certain extent, show today. I believe that no man or woman should ever feel powerless or repressed under the control of another, no matter the race. Respect for another human being should never be a far away desire; rather, an unyielding expectation.…
Taiyo Na’s “Lovely to Me” video touches on several social questions. A catalogue of Na’s observations of his immigrant mother’s love for him while enduring the hardships of trying to make it in today’s America, at the heart of “Lovely to Me” is his profound appreciation for his mother as she confronts a new society with a differing culture than hers. While Na expresses social conflict, he also identifies a mother’s love and sacrifice for her child. Indeed, the concepts of culture, value and norms can help further understanding of “Lovely to Me” as cultures clash and intermingle. By watching the video with theses social theories in mind, we are able to understand a culture better. Not only do we get a better understanding, we can also compare and relate his views of family values and norms to or own.…
` As this style is said to be most likely to produce happy, confident, capable, socially equipped child. Various reasons why parenting styles may vary may be due to differences in cultures, Childs’ personality, family size, parental background, socioeconomic status, educational level, and religion. Mothers/fathers may display different styles causing conflict and confusion to the child. .Parenting styles sometimes change due to the child attitude or behaviour especially progressing through different stages of development .It is not always the case that expected outcomes from parenting styles materialize and parents with authoritative styles may have children whom lack self-esteem or engage in delinquent behaviour. These are not set in stone, as other external factors such as peers, schooling, social media, Parent’s mental health, or other life problems influence a child's perception to socially…
At this point, my parents with their individual viewpoint started to have variance on me adapting to the new environment. Having different perspective towards society's operation caused tension within our family. Now the question arises," Don't parents realize that too much parental control halts child's personal growth?" Such type of parenting style is referred to as authoritarian. "Authoritarian parents utilize strict and harsh child rearing techniques with an absolute set of standards to which children must conform while permissive parents provide too few rules, boundaries, or restrictions for their children" (Chong, et al 1). Parents must not adopt authoritarian parenting style as it contributes to such behavior which is never welcomed by them when presented and further leads to tension within the family. This parenting style develops such consequences which leave kids down with psychological and personality disorders, consisting problems like fear of failing at each step of life, withdrawing oneself from socializing and turning out to be authoritarian towards parents as an…
This closeness acts as an aid for success. When Asian-American students felt that they were failing, their brain automatically thought of their mother and the child found energy in that pressure to help bounce back (a fact that is also supported by the California study). In Asian culture, it is excepted that the mother pushes their child greatly towards success. This interdependence between mother and child is the trait that creates the power behind a mother's pressure. A defining trait of “Tiger Moms” is that they don’t just give an order to their children, they completely engulf their own life with their child’s. The mother keeps complete track of their child’s whole schedule, their assignments due, the instrumental practices, and helps them keep commitments. The extra support and pressure from their mothers are believed by the culture to help create efficient and dependable members of society (Parker,2014). In European- American families, there is normally a lot strained on being independent, and allowing a child to make their own decisions. This helps create a more creative child, but not necessarily a more successful one. “Most researchers investigate how a child is brought up” (Ember & Ember, 2014, page 62-63) when they are researching or investigating disobedient vs obedient children in the classroom. This is why studies have shown that “tiger moms” raise better-behaving children in school. In summary, Asian-American mothers are more forceful of decisions in their child’s life, which creates more obedient…
As youth development and growth become an important study in our society, there are many controversial opinions regarding the best method of parenting. Amy Chua argues in her essay, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” that children raised from Chinese mothers are more successful than those raised by Western mothers. She believes that Chinese children attain exceptional achievements from forced training and develop a stronger self-esteem from parental insults. As evidence to support her argument, Chua uses her daughters to show the success of kids raised from a Chinese mother. From my perspective, forcing and insulting a child is not a healthy way to raise children. There is also a lack of complete evidence in Chua’s essay as she only uses her own two daughters to show that the Chinese-style parenting method is indeed “superior” compared to the laissez-fare, Western style of parenting. Overall, Chua raises a debatable argument in stating that the Chinese method of using strict discipline to the extremes will raise “successful children”.…
Chao, R. K. (1994). Beyond parental control and authoritarian parenting style: Understanding Chinese parenting through the cultural notion of training. Child Development, 65(4), 1111- 1119.…