wishes with revising your paper! Hi‚ Gregory! I am Kobe F.‚ and I am happy to read and comment on your work today. I like your choice of Jimmy Cross for your discussion because he suffers the most important conflict between desire and duty in O’Brien’s story. Below I suggest some improvements to your thesis statement‚ conclusion‚ and comma use to help you enhance your paper. The ERF and embedded comments include the draft being on topic and grammatically correct as in “Help Requested.” So here we go!
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A Home on the Other Side of the Mirror “Dillon‚ it’s time to go!” His father yelled from his car. His room was the only place left he could think. But maybe that was a good thing. He carried his suitcase downstairs‚ each step seeming like an inch closer to rock bottom. The door slams behind him‚ leaving the sounds of anger to echo throughout the house in despair that his mother might be listening and come running after him. She was gone now though. It had been only a few days since his mother
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It was a beautiful fall weekend; the sunlight shined enough to provide just the right amount of warmth to make it the perfect picnic day. I was on my way to meet my parents for the annual South Florida Police and Fire bar-b-que. I knew that there was a chance that he would be there since a good part of his family is fire fighters. I have been organizing‚ planning‚ helping‚ running‚ and attending this event ever since I can remember‚ and there had only been a few times that he showed up because the
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The Little Mule that Could “Clip‚ clop‚ clip‚ clop‚ such a reassuring sound”‚ Jenny thought as she pulled the plow through Mr. Dawkins’ fields. Jenny could feel the soil beneath her hooves‚ and the steady beat of her lively heart. Behind her was Dave‚ the small black boy‚ who was tasked to lead Jenny through the fields. But she already knew the way; she had done it‚ day in and day out‚ for as long as she could remember. From the time she was a little mule‚ she remembered her parents had done this
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[pic] PEN 0055 Essential English Foundation in Law ONLINE NOTES Reading 1 (Short Stories) A Rose for Emily William Faulkner | When Miss Emily Grierson died‚ our whole town went to her funeral: the men through a sort of respectful affection for a |1 | |fallen monument‚ the women mostly out of curiosity to see the inside of her house‚ which no one save an old man-servant—a | | |combined gardener and cook—had seen in at least
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STORY OF MAYKAPAL In the beginning‚ the sky was very low; it was possible to touch it with a long bamboo pole. Because of this proximity‚ everything on earth was burnt by the intense heat of the sun. The rivers and the seas were boiling tremendously. Then suddenly from nowhere‚ a huge man appeared on earth. This enormous being was called Maykapal. Some of the ancient Tagalogs‚ said that Maykapal was the Lord of the universe who came down to earth to correct some mistakes in his work. However
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When He Came Back Sasha Boswell He had spent my whole life avoiding me‚ leaving my mother and I to look after ourselves‚ no help‚ no calls‚ no child support‚ not even one single letter just to say hi. The day he called was when my world had changed. I would finally meet him‚ the man from the small photo propped up against the brick wall above the fireplace. My curtains were wide open and the sunlight filtered in‚ creating little dust beams as mum liked to call them. The big oak tree by my window
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“FIRST LOVE ” Every Christmas‚ together with Nancy’s Family they travel for a Family reunion. Then one Christmas they went to her Uncle’s resort in Negara‚ Nancy is never excited‚ and this time is no different. They travel for almost 8 hours from their place to her Uncle’s Resort. It is 12nn when they arrived and everybody is so excited to meet their relatives except for Nancy who are on the other side. Nancy was walking in the seashore when she sees lots of familiar faces. It is her cousin
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A Lost Hope The lights appeared out of the darkness. I heard a soft voice talking to me as my eyes slowly opened and everything was blurred. My eyes adjusted I found I wasn’t at home in my own comfy bed but a horrible hospital trolley. My mom was sitting on a chair beside me her hand in mine and her eyes filled with tears I could tell she had been crying. It had happened again I thought to myself‚ I had collapsed for no reason. My mom explained to me why this was happening and a sharp pain shot
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It was six a.m.‚ and the buzzing of the alarm clock was all that could be heard throughout my room. It was time for me to wake up and prepare myself for school. I slowly dragged my feet across the floor towards the dresser‚ dreading what Soph‚ Liv‚ and Lex had planned for me that day. Were they going to make fun of my clothes‚ “accidentally” spill food in my hair‚ or even worse‚ make fun of me not having a dad anymore… again? Losing him four years ago when I was ten was bad enough for me‚ but the
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