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    Fantasy Story:             Once upon a time there was a girl named Belle. She lived in a magical kingdom‚ but was unaware of it‚ until her 13th birthday. She and her friend Sunny are to discover that there were more than flowers in a garden.             “Let’s hurry!” yelled Belle “We don’t have much time!” “Ok‚ ok‚ I’m coming!” murmured Sunny groggily. It was 3 in the morning after all!             The two girls were heading to the Tulip Meadow. It all had started when they were having a sleepover

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    wishes with revising your paper! Hi‚ Gregory! I am Kobe F.‚ and I am happy to read and comment on your work today. I like your choice of Jimmy Cross for your discussion because he suffers the most important conflict between desire and duty in O’Brien’s story. Below I suggest some improvements to your thesis statement‚ conclusion‚ and comma use to help you enhance your paper. The ERF and embedded comments include the draft being on topic and grammatically correct as in “Help Requested.” So here we go! 

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    Chapter 1 Mom’s word stuck me like a lightning bolt. I was so shocked that I forgot to give reaction to what I had just heard. Maybe because a part of me still believed this couldn’t be true. Well‚ was it a joke? I looked back into mom’s eyes. She was still looking at me with pitiful look in her eyes‚ which showed me sympathy. I wanted to ask her if she was joking‚ but then I realised it would be hard to bear the pain if she said no. Instead I wanted for her to say something else or give a reaction

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    Friday‚ December 24‚ 8:40 a.m. Christmas Eve - today’s going to be insane. When I got up this morning‚ it was snowing heavily. The sight made me tingle with excitement. Pumping with adrenaline‚ I fixed myself a cup of water and took a quick wash. I lay down on my snug bed pondering over what to put down for my Christmas list... Life was hard here in Serbia ever since my mum died. Nothing was the same. No more clean water‚ no electronic luxuries and a huge shortage of money. I had to often help

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    door called stage 3 with a sign saying “no entrance” hanging on. Thoughtlessly I sneak inside and start wandering with anxiety looking at all of these tubes‚ hearing some murmuring here and there. A hand pulls me to the side behind a set of tubes. “shhh‚ don’t say a single word” this old man puts his hand on my mouth. He takes me into this small chamber and gives me a coke. I look bewilderedly at this can of drink; I never saw such a thing in the conservatory inside. I reject it‚ but he stops me and

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    A Home on the Other Side of the Mirror “Dillon‚ it’s time to go!” His father yelled from his car. His room was the only place left he could think. But maybe that was a good thing. He carried his suitcase downstairs‚ each step seeming like an inch closer to rock bottom. The door slams behind him‚ leaving the sounds of anger to echo throughout the house in despair that his mother might be listening and come running after him. She was gone now though. It had been only a few days since his mother

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    It was a beautiful fall weekend; the sunlight shined enough to provide just the right amount of warmth to make it the perfect picnic day. I was on my way to meet my parents for the annual South Florida Police and Fire bar-b-que. I knew that there was a chance that he would be there since a good part of his family is fire fighters. I have been organizing‚ planning‚ helping‚ running‚ and attending this event ever since I can remember‚ and there had only been a few times that he showed up because the

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    ----------- The Mienshao opened her eyes and gasped loudly. She could instantly feel that she was sitting in a very uncomfortable position in small‚ enclosed space. The ground felt cold and metallic. It was obviously some kind of cage. The Mienshao looked down to her stomach and rubbed it‚ relieved to feel that her unborn baby was unharmed. "Richard‚ long time‚ no see buddy. How’ve you been?" a voice spoke happily. "Dr. Feinburg‚ it sure is great to see you again‚" replied a second voice

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    The Chapel I sat in was lined with wooden pews‚ unadorned as befitted the sombre mood. Inside the atmosphere was oppressive and a faint mustiness hung in the air. I was vaguely aware of the murmurs and rustlings of the other mourners as they took their seats. I dabbed my eyes with the hanker-chief as the deeply moving and melancholy chords of “Amazing Grace” began to filter through the stony walls. Ahead of the pews the mahogany casket was polished to a glossy shine and adorned with pale pink

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    worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands. Then she asked Will‚ “Has your plane arrived yet?” 8-O :mrgreen: Clever kids: A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day‚ the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit‚ so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.” A little more investigative

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