wishes with revising your paper! Hi‚ Gregory! I am Kobe F.‚ and I am happy to read and comment on your work today. I like your choice of Jimmy Cross for your discussion because he suffers the most important conflict between desire and duty in O’Brien’s story. Below I suggest some improvements to your thesis statement‚ conclusion‚ and comma use to help you enhance your paper. The ERF and embedded comments include the draft being on topic and grammatically correct as in “Help Requested.” So here we go!
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The Little Mule that Could “Clip‚ clop‚ clip‚ clop‚ such a reassuring sound”‚ Jenny thought as she pulled the plow through Mr. Dawkins’ fields. Jenny could feel the soil beneath her hooves‚ and the steady beat of her lively heart. Behind her was Dave‚ the small black boy‚ who was tasked to lead Jenny through the fields. But she already knew the way; she had done it‚ day in and day out‚ for as long as she could remember. From the time she was a little mule‚ she remembered her parents had done this
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STORY OF MAYKAPAL In the beginning‚ the sky was very low; it was possible to touch it with a long bamboo pole. Because of this proximity‚ everything on earth was burnt by the intense heat of the sun. The rivers and the seas were boiling tremendously. Then suddenly from nowhere‚ a huge man appeared on earth. This enormous being was called Maykapal. Some of the ancient Tagalogs‚ said that Maykapal was the Lord of the universe who came down to earth to correct some mistakes in his work. However
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When He Came Back Sasha Boswell He had spent my whole life avoiding me‚ leaving my mother and I to look after ourselves‚ no help‚ no calls‚ no child support‚ not even one single letter just to say hi. The day he called was when my world had changed. I would finally meet him‚ the man from the small photo propped up against the brick wall above the fireplace. My curtains were wide open and the sunlight filtered in‚ creating little dust beams as mum liked to call them. The big oak tree by my window
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Visual memory is the ability to recall past images or visual experiences.Due to the fact that the inspiration for this toy is a car‚ their is a great deal opportunity for development of a child’s visual memory. The wheels‚ the body and the dashboard are the major aspects of this toy that would facilitate the understanding that this toy is a car for the child. The trumpet and the drum on the top of the toy would also have the ability to be recognized by the child due to their explicit three dimensional
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“FIRST LOVE ” Every Christmas‚ together with Nancy’s Family they travel for a Family reunion. Then one Christmas they went to her Uncle’s resort in Negara‚ Nancy is never excited‚ and this time is no different. They travel for almost 8 hours from their place to her Uncle’s Resort. It is 12nn when they arrived and everybody is so excited to meet their relatives except for Nancy who are on the other side. Nancy was walking in the seashore when she sees lots of familiar faces. It is her cousin
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A Lost Hope The lights appeared out of the darkness. I heard a soft voice talking to me as my eyes slowly opened and everything was blurred. My eyes adjusted I found I wasn’t at home in my own comfy bed but a horrible hospital trolley. My mom was sitting on a chair beside me her hand in mine and her eyes filled with tears I could tell she had been crying. It had happened again I thought to myself‚ I had collapsed for no reason. My mom explained to me why this was happening and a sharp pain shot
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As time goes by‚ there was this event which happened during my childhood keeps grinding in my brain. The one thing which I favor the most was to watch cartoon all day long. My childhood was so much influenced by Disney cartoons. The little girl would always have the thoughts of breaking the TV glass and get into it to join them. Me as the youngest in the family would let myself to play in a place of my own creation with the characters present in the cartoon. My parents were aware of my craze towards
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Alyvia Daly English lll October 18‚ 2013 Period 5 The Twins Liv was sitting in a chair staring at an aged iron gate with the words of the asylum’s name “Forquer Asylum” embedded in the iron work. She seemed to be staring at something else though‚ something only she could see. You could tell she was in deep thought and whatever it was trouble her greatly just by the way her face was scrunched up like if she was mad. “Liv…” called Dr. Grey. Liv turned not realizing Dr. Grey had been
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Fantasy Story: Once upon a time there was a girl named Belle. She lived in a magical kingdom‚ but was unaware of it‚ until her 13th birthday. She and her friend Sunny are to discover that there were more than flowers in a garden. “Let’s hurry!” yelled Belle “We don’t have much time!” “Ok‚ ok‚ I’m coming!” murmured Sunny groggily. It was 3 in the morning after all! The two girls were heading to the Tulip Meadow. It all had started when they were having a sleepover
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