wishes with revising your paper! Hi‚ Gregory! I am Kobe F.‚ and I am happy to read and comment on your work today. I like your choice of Jimmy Cross for your discussion because he suffers the most important conflict between desire and duty in O’Brien’s story. Below I suggest some improvements to your thesis statement‚ conclusion‚ and comma use to help you enhance your paper. The ERF and embedded comments include the draft being on topic and grammatically correct as in “Help Requested.” So here we go!
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Sargent smiling to himself. His long spindly finger whipped out of his tightly clenched hand and moved towards a big red button on the side of the machine. “STRIKE 1!” he shouted and a spark flew out of the machine. But the Macro had had no shock‚ no effect at all actually‚ he just sat clueless on the floor. “ What’s happening” whispered the Sargent in confusion… “STRIKE 2!” he shouted and again the same thing happened. He whipped around and stared at the boy‚ he moved towards him and slapped his wrist
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The Little Mule that Could “Clip‚ clop‚ clip‚ clop‚ such a reassuring sound”‚ Jenny thought as she pulled the plow through Mr. Dawkins’ fields. Jenny could feel the soil beneath her hooves‚ and the steady beat of her lively heart. Behind her was Dave‚ the small black boy‚ who was tasked to lead Jenny through the fields. But she already knew the way; she had done it‚ day in and day out‚ for as long as she could remember. From the time she was a little mule‚ she remembered her parents had done this
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Cause and Effect Essays OK‚ now we’re getting into something fun‚ the cause and effect essay. The cause and effect essay will train you to call and respond. For example‚ if you’re arguing about why cigarettes are detrimental to health‚ you can’t just say cigarettes cause lung cancer and move on to the next subject. You must respond to that statement and tell the reader why cigarettes cause lung cancer: Call-Response. That said‚ the most important members of the who‚ what‚ when‚ where‚
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Cause and Effect To write a cause and effect essay‚ you’ll need to determine a scenario in which one action or event caused certain effects to occur. Then‚ explain what took place and why. This essay allows us to identify patterns and explain why things turned out the way that they did. How do I choose a topic and get started? Try choosing a major event‚ either in your own life or an event of historical significance. For example‚ The Great Depression. Cause of The Great Depression: stock market
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STORY OF MAYKAPAL In the beginning‚ the sky was very low; it was possible to touch it with a long bamboo pole. Because of this proximity‚ everything on earth was burnt by the intense heat of the sun. The rivers and the seas were boiling tremendously. Then suddenly from nowhere‚ a huge man appeared on earth. This enormous being was called Maykapal. Some of the ancient Tagalogs‚ said that Maykapal was the Lord of the universe who came down to earth to correct some mistakes in his work. However
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When He Came Back Sasha Boswell He had spent my whole life avoiding me‚ leaving my mother and I to look after ourselves‚ no help‚ no calls‚ no child support‚ not even one single letter just to say hi. The day he called was when my world had changed. I would finally meet him‚ the man from the small photo propped up against the brick wall above the fireplace. My curtains were wide open and the sunlight filtered in‚ creating little dust beams as mum liked to call them. The big oak tree by my window
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“FIRST LOVE ” Every Christmas‚ together with Nancy’s Family they travel for a Family reunion. Then one Christmas they went to her Uncle’s resort in Negara‚ Nancy is never excited‚ and this time is no different. They travel for almost 8 hours from their place to her Uncle’s Resort. It is 12nn when they arrived and everybody is so excited to meet their relatives except for Nancy who are on the other side. Nancy was walking in the seashore when she sees lots of familiar faces. It is her cousin
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A Lost Hope The lights appeared out of the darkness. I heard a soft voice talking to me as my eyes slowly opened and everything was blurred. My eyes adjusted I found I wasn’t at home in my own comfy bed but a horrible hospital trolley. My mom was sitting on a chair beside me her hand in mine and her eyes filled with tears I could tell she had been crying. It had happened again I thought to myself‚ I had collapsed for no reason. My mom explained to me why this was happening and a sharp pain shot
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It was six a.m.‚ and the buzzing of the alarm clock was all that could be heard throughout my room. It was time for me to wake up and prepare myself for school. I slowly dragged my feet across the floor towards the dresser‚ dreading what Soph‚ Liv‚ and Lex had planned for me that day. Were they going to make fun of my clothes‚ “accidentally” spill food in my hair‚ or even worse‚ make fun of me not having a dad anymore… again? Losing him four years ago when I was ten was bad enough for me‚ but the
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