A Sum Of Our Parts

Thanks for sharing scenes from your novel with me. Overall, the scenes read well and were very engaging. I admired how the first scene from the aftermath of Tessa and Pete’s fight unfolded from the first couple of pages. The reader gets a good sense of the situation at hand and how Tessa was viewed from the start due to it. Consistent through the scenes was the beautiful imagery that added well to the moments at hand and enveloped a unique version of magical realism that kept me going through the pages. A couple of the lines I liked in the pages were, “Her sister said nothing. She stood there like a drooping dandelion, her star-white hair cloaking. (3)” and “Welcome, some part of her hissed, to the strange sad land where stories don’t work
For Annabelle’s transcendence into a ghost or superhuman being who has relations with the world at large, I think you should check out the short story, “A Sum of Our Parts” by Chris Adrian in the collection A Better Angel and originally published in Ploughshares. I think you’ll like it and it has some of the elements that you are using for this piece in the supernatural and its relationship with the real world going on. There were at times in Annabelle’s visions when I didn’t know if an event actually happened, for example when Tessa tells her that they should leave in pages 17-22. I thought that event happened until it was noted that it was a dream when she woke from her bed. The scene could benefit from some supernatural heightening/magical elements that alert the reader towards something more happening., especially in the part when Annabelle puts out her arms and Tessa falls on page 22. Also in the scene, Annabelle read a bit emotionally removed in her dialogue towards Tessa's suggestion to go west. Was this on purpose due to Annabelle accepting her fate in marrying the Mayor, as if Annabelle wasn't convinced that she believed what she was saying. I think in Annabelle’s interiority within the exchange that the supernatural elements could be heightened from the periphery and become more apparent at the point by the time Annabelle wakes
For example, on page 5 in Annabelle’s perspective, “She watched dreams pass across her sister’s faces. (5)” This could be more specific in the types of dreams that pass across her sister’s faces for whatever that moment brought out in Annabelle. It could be an intimate moment that Annabelle tries to understand what her sister’s are going through in their minds. Also, Ma as a foil for Tessa's dreams not bring achieved is a very interesting angle and could be explored more through specific examples within the scenes. In fact, when I was reading from Annabelle’s perspective that Ma killed the snake, I thought from the early framing of Tessa’s physical similarities to her Ma and the realization that she didn’t want to be like her in action that this scene could fit better with Tessa, but of course, it may not fit with the ages of them at that time (How old were Annabelle and Tessa at that point?). Just something to consider in that having a scene with Tessa and Ma from the past when Ma was herself could work. With Pa’s flashbacks of his past battles, having some dialogue associated with those that Annabelle overhears over and over from the incident would make the horror more vivid and lead into the imagery of Annabelle imagining the dead men as poppies. During the flashback from Annabelle that her Ma suffered abuse