Abused Women and Children

He beat her 150 times. She only got flowers once.

Domestic violence or domestic abuse is the dirty little secret that some people in society want to ignore. Women hide behind dark glasses, makeup and lies to cover the secret of abuse out of shame, blame and fear. Domestic violence is a cycle of abuse that needs to be addressed. There needs to be more research on the cycle of abuse. Society needs to be educated on the effects of domestic violence and acknowledge that it is a societal problem because the abuser is not the only one abusing the victim. There has been focus on domestic violence when it occurs in the home, but the cycle of abuse is important as well to understand the etiology of domestic violence and find solutions to end this cycle of violence. According to the National Coalition on Domestic Violence, 1 out of 4 women are being abused. 1.3 million women are victims of domestic violence and is the number one reason that women end up in the emergency room with injuries with an average of 3 women a day victims of homicide as a result. Women between the ages of 20-24 are more likely to be victims of nonfatal injuries. Besides rape, domestic violence is underreported. Men are abused as well, but 85% women are victims of domestic violence. 30% to 60% of abusers will abuse children in the home. The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion a year. Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to repeat this cycle of abuse than those who do not and this is the continuation of the cycle of abuse. The diagram below demonstrates the cycle of abuse beginning with abuse, guilt from the abuser because of fear of being caught, excuses in the form of rationalizing the behavior, normal behavior by trying to apologize to the victim, fantasy and planning of the abuse into reality, and finally set up in which the abuser justifies the abuse. There are different types of domestic violence or abuse. Physical abuse occurs when there is an assault on someone that can injure or kill another person. Sexual abuse is in the form of rape or degrading sex and is considered an aggressive violent event. Emotional abuse occurs when there is verbal abuse that includes yelling, blaming, intimidation, and name calling that result in stripping the victim of self-worth and independence. The abuser throws a tantrum which can and usually results in physical force against the victim. All of these forms of domestic violence and abuse are choices that are deliberately made by the abuser because they have to be in control and manipulative and go to extremes to make this possible. They use humiliation, isolation, intimidation, blame and threats to accomplish this goal. Dr. Lenore Walker, a psychologist coined the term ‘cycle of violence.” The honeymoon phase occurs when the abuser is gentle and affectionate. In the tension building phase, there is violence and problems in the relationship because of emotions of the abuser. The acting out phase occurs when the violence reaches its critical stage to the point where the abused is afraid to get help and then the cycle repeats itself. At the time, Dr. Walker’s cycle of violence was criticized because the sample size was small, lacked diversity and challenged the predictability of domestic violence. In order to understand the origins of domestic violence to stop the cycle of abuse, the origin has to be traced. The cycle of violence hypothesis is connected to the social learning theory (Bandura, 1977). This theory is attributed to behavioral patterns in individuals through observation and modeling. If there is observed violence or aggression in the home, then this may be exhibited in their relationships with others leading to aggression and/or violence with their partners. If there is violence in the home, then the child believes that conflict is resolved through aggressive violence and this is known as modeling because they are acting violent because of observations in their environment. Attachment research has demonstrated that children who experience rejection and will find ways to manage this abandonment. This affects them as they get older, and aggression or violence is the response to this rejection when they are involved in relationships. They cannot handle rejection, so they want to control the relationships they are in.

According to a study conducted by Brown, James and Taylor in 2010, they researched the hypothesis of a rejection-abuse cycle of men abusers. The rejection-abuse cycle includes the man rejected as a child, gets in a relationship and perceives his mate’s behavior as threatening to his ego, man defends himself against criticism, becomes defensive, and finally abusive with the cycle complete when the abuser is rejected, and not being able to alleviate that distress that he wants. Participants included 66 men in Australia. There ages ranged between 21-61 years of age. Seventy-one per cent of men (n=47) were in relationships that lasted an average of 11.4 years and were questioned about abuse to their mates within the past 6 months. At least 39%
(n= 25) of the men in this study were in a domestic violence program. The rejection variables were punishment, anxious attachment, exclusive dependency and emotional dependency. They filled out questionnaires and scales centering on the rejection-abuse cycle. The hypothesis for the rejection-abuse cycle is supported by the literature. The means and standard deviations for the main variables are represented in the table. The scores are low to average for the population of those who admitted they were abusers. The indices for skewness ranged from .107 to 1.05 and the kurtosis range from .908 to 1.233. The table shows that psychological abuse is higher than physical abuse, but nonetheless, the men in this study are admitting to abuse. Many of these men have not resided with their mates in the last 6 months, which could account for the low numbers in physical abuse, but maintain contact with their mates accounting for the high numbers of psychological abuse.

N Mean Standard deviation Minimum Maximum
Physical abuse 65 1.30 .33 1 5
Psychological abuse 65 1.86 .52 1 5
Punishment 65 1.57 .66 1 5
Shame 50 1.67 .83 0 4
Self-esteem 50 2.57 .71 0 4
Self-clarity 50 3.16 .77 1 5
Alexithymia 66 2.61 .68 1 5
Diff identifying feelings 66 2.64 .96 1 5
Diff describing feelings 66 2.83 .93 1 5
Externalized thinking 66 2.45 .66 1 5
Anxious attachment 66 3.92 .87 1 6
Exclusive dependency 66 3.40 .89 1 6
Emotional dependency 66 3.71 .84 1 6
Exploitativeness 66 0.38 .21 0 1
Emotional cut-off 65 4.06 .94 1 6

There are limitations of this study because of the sample size, but it still supports the model. There needs to be more studies with a larger sample who are domestic violent abusers and those who do not abuse to make a comparison to add to the validity and reliability of studies such as these. It is important to determine the origin of the abuse and the triggers of the abuse. It would be desirable to know the effects on these men after completing the domestic violence program and if they are still in an abusive relationship. There is a hypothesis for the cycle of violence as being intergenerational. According to Choice, Dankoski, Keiley, Lloyd, Seery, & Thomas (2006), the intergenerational transmission of violence links early experience and violence later in life. Their study showed that 30% link physical abuse with intergenerational violence. There is a parent and child attachment link when it comes to intergenerational violence. The child sees violence in the home and subsequently “acts out” in later years and carries this into marital aggression. This study did not have statistics, so it would be ideal to see their findings support their hypothesis. Research conducted on intergenerational domestic of violence includes controlled samples examining violence in childhood from adults in the home and the family background of violence in their home when growing up. Questionnaires or scale studies are usually used because of its reliability than using governmental statistical information because of variations in transmission rates. Assortative mating is a term used when people chose partners who are like themselves in terms of violence either by coming from an abused home or being abused. This increases the risk of violence in the relationship. There are some researchers that link to genetic components shared by parents and children such as antisocial behavior that can lead to domestic violence. Sandra Stith conducted a study on marital intimate partner violence. The average correlation was (r =. 18) between the person who witnessed the violence and the perpetrator. The link was stronger for men (r = .21) than women (r = .11), which suggests that boys are more likely to be perpetrators of violence. There was a small correlation (r = .14) between witnessing partner violence and becoming the victim of partner violence as an adult; this link was stronger for women (r = .18) than men (r = .09), suggesting that girls who witness partner violence are more likely than boys to become victims. In order to prevent or stop domestic violence and the cycle of abuse, the risk factors play a role to determine solutions. Some of these factors could be mental illness, substance abuse, disability, poverty, poor parenting skills, and other types of violence in the home. When a child witnesses abuse by the father to the mother, this is the strongest risk factor for intergenerational abuse. There needs to be more research conducted to find a solution to end the cycle of violence that can lead to domestic violence. There are some ways to address this cycle such as counseling, parental education about the effects of abuse on their children, nonviolence in the home setting, stable, healthy relationships, and emotional support. There needs to be more research and acceptance of the cycle of abuse. There needs to be more treatment programs for domestic violence with the focus on the abuser and the abused and children because the goal is to end, prevent and break the cycle of abuse. There was a study done on 24 males in interviews for a domestic violence program in New York. Interviews were chosen to give insight into their violent behavior. The sample was 75% White (n=18), 8.3% Hispanic (n=2), 4.2% Black (n=1), and 12.5% other ethnicities (n=3) who were in a marital or living with someone. They ranged between the ages of 23-56 (M=36.1 years ; SD=8.5 years). The data included case notes that included written interviews of men’s descriptions of their violent behavior. The results showed that men justified or denied the violence. This study shows that not only do women underreport their abuse, but the men who are abusers do the same. The cycle of violence continues because it is an unending cycle if left untreated or unrecognized. The study demonstrates the need for education of the effects of abuse, as well as long term treatment for those who were subjected to witness domestic abuse. The researchers concluded that this type of motivational interviewing would help establish a rapport and enhancing treatment for abusers. This model takes the statements made by the men in the study to elicit concerns and attention to their aggressive behavior. The only limitations of this study were the small sample size and an unequal balance of the races studied. The clinician did not record the interview, so any notes made during the research on the responses of the men could demonstrate some bias. Further research is needed with a larger sample size with a racial balance, and should be audio recorded. The cycle of violence affects society as a whole. Children who are abused can become violent criminals which victimize society. Men and women that do not report abuse or seek help do so because of fear and shame. There is a great deal of emphasis on the cycle, but not enough research or discussions on prevention, education and treatment of abuse. There also needs to be an acknowledgment that women abuse men, which is also underreported. However, it does not compare to the numbers of women who are abused by men. In any event, the cycle of abuse is the problem and is detrimental to society as a whole. There are laws that address domestic violence crimes, but these laws need to be enforced and there needs to be more sensitivity when addressing those who are abused. Educators need to be trained in recognizing signs of abuse because those children who are having behavioral problems could be attributed to abuse in the home. Domestic violence is a cancer on society and the dirty little secret is silence of abuse and making excuses for the abused and abuser. The cycle of abuse is destructive on society as a whole and can no longer be tolerated and should never be accepted.

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