An example of this would be at the very beginning of the novel , when Gillian comes to face Dorcas’s totems for the first time. She is said to have “shuddered, turned away and wanted to leave but found herself staring at the totem again, having returned to stand before it1” (1-2). This initially depicts the way in which Gillian is drawn to the totems yet at the same time repulsed by them. She views the totem similar to the way she perceives Dorcas, with complete ambivalence. This is conveyed when Gillian states how “she’s drawn in the woman’s wake like a fluttering scrap of paper in the wake of a rushing vehicle”(11). The contrasting images between the scrap of paper and the rushing vehiculre is a metaphor to depict the ambivalent perception Gillian has of Dorcas. Gillian’s ambivalence towards Dorcas is similar to the way she views the totems for which she describes as “so ugly! yet so powerful16”. This iniattly reflects how despite the totem’s uglyness she’s still drawn to it by it’s powerful prescene, which in accords is the same way she’s drawn to Dorcas . An example of this would be when she states how Dorcas “ believ(ed)herself to be beautiful and desirable even if, in ignorant eyes, she might be repellent “ and how “it was impossible not to stare at her20”. This reflects the way in which Dorcas’s physical stature attracts not only Gillian’s attention …show more content…
An example of this would be when she views a totems and notices the similarities between her and that of the totem.She refers to it as a “bony adolescent girl who was my sister self”95 , this depicts the negative perception she has of herself which is projected onto one of the totems. She refers to it as “an ugly thing!”16 that kept taunting her, the flat monkeyish face that bore just a faint, caricatured resemblance to (her) own face”16. The fact that she’s referring to the totem as ugly then stating how it bears some resemblance to her conveys how she perceives herself in the most lowest and demeaning kind of way.She doesn’t see herself as beautiful or “sexy and seductive”20 but instead she loathes her general overall image. An example of this would be when she states how she “hated her thin body set beside Dominique’s voluptuous body”, or “her quiet manner set beside Marisa’s exhibitionism”79.The fact that she’s comparing herself to the other girls reflects the inadequacy she feels in regards to her own self image. She even states how she’s “not female in the way Dorcas is” 16and projects these feelings when she describes the totems as “anti feminine”16 . She perceives herself in one of the totems once more when she