Best and Worst Learning Experience

There is one mirror in my house. It is behind a sliding panel in the hallway upstairs, every morning I watch myself in this mirror wondering if one day I’ll be able to make it through this pain. it was Sunday noon September 17th when I found out about my horrible disease even though I have had one every year since I was 20 years old, due to the fact that we have a strong family history of cancer. But this year was different. I had been having a strange little pain on the lower left side of my left breast. I say strange because it was like a little sharp, needley prickly pain. It only hurt if I got bumped or as time progress when I pressed in the area of where the tumor was, as I found out later. After explaining to the doctor what I felt she decided to have me have an ultrasound along with the mammogram. The test came back and I thought hallelujah! I’m in the clear.
Unfortunately it wasn't. The doctor could feel the little ridge that I could feel. She suggested that I see a general surgeon. So I did and he did a biopsy because he could also feel the ridged spot. Two days later my life changed, the surgeon told me I had breast cancer "infiltration of the ductal carcinoma". I was in such shock all I could do was burst into tears.
So August 17, 2009 I had the tumor removed and my journey began. I had to have radiation treatments, which started in September and would continue until November 20. I had reactions to the skin and had to stop and start a few times but at least I found out the cancer was gone temporarily.

Late in the winter of my seventeenth the pain came back and that’s when I knew that the cancer spread. Throughout the year I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same books over and over again, ate intermittently and devoted quite a bit of my plentiful free time to think about death. Like whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in