Boys to Men

How does a Boy become a Man?

It was once said by Charles Dudley “One of the best things in the world is being a boy; it requires no experience, but becoming a man needs some practice to be a good one. Growing up is hard to do. The challenges that a child must deal with throughout the life cycle are overwhelming. Children must deal with physical, emotional, and physiological changes as they grow. There is no manual for growing up.
Boys at young ages have mastered physical skills. They are active and curious; seeking a variety of new experiences. He likes to jump and climb, and he can't stay focused on anything other than the computer, game system or his skate board and seems too distracted to listen. He gets into things and he takes things apart. Around the ages of six to twelve years old a boy is experiencing new and frequent intense feelings. There is a deep need for approval from adults and peers. Sometimes it may even be hard for a boy to control his behavior. He dislikes his school work and can be disruptive in the classroom. He loves noise and finds sitting still to be the ultimate challenge. Verbal skills are increased and he is now verbally taking his anger out more often, although he has developed a sense of fair play and a value system of right and wrong he still wants things to go his way. Boys are usually concerned with being this strong person who is not scared of anything or anybody. They want to be first at everything and winning is most important to them. As boys move from childhood into their early teens they began to draw together and away from adults in desire for independence. Independence from adults increase, friendships and activities with age mates flourish and his desire to have to have a status within his peer group becomes intense. Boys see parts rather than how the parts make up the whole. He thinks very literally. He sees himself as and an adult and questions adult concepts. Walk the halls of most high schools and you will immediately notice the primary topic of conversation and matter of utmost importance is "self" when boys are teenagers, most of them think that the world revolves around them and can't imagine that they are just a small part of a much larger picture. A teenage boy attention span is going to be shorter when he is not particularly interested in a subject that relates to self or something he will enjoy learning or doing. Boys build bonds by doing things with other boys. Studies have shown that in many cases around the ages of thirteen to nineteen you should not expect a boy to want to simply talk to a female for the purpose of enjoyment and growing closer. Boys will talk to a female about a problem. If she does not keep it brief, talk too much and he will tune her out. Boys love when people take advantage of their natural curiosity to help them build strengths. It is usually hard for them to find appropriate ways to test their strength as well as their desires to compete. The encouragement of his effort is far more effective in development of perseverance and a positive self-image about himself. Lastly when you are dealing with a teenage boy do not compare him to other boys. He will hate that. He wants you to learn to appreciate him for who he is created to be. It is all about “self” and becoming a man during this time in his life.
There are plenty of boys walking around wearing the bodies of men, holding degrees, jobs and mortgages, but retaining the soul of an 8-year old, so what is it that really determines whether someone has crossed from boyhood into manhood? There are a few events in life that society has deemed as way-points on the road to manhood; graduating college, getting a job, getting married, buying your first house and having a child. These seem to be the big ones and, right or wrong, they are used as indicators of maturity in the lives of men, a measuring stick to judge the transition from boyhood to manhood. Studies have come up with the following traits that truly define what it means to be a man. Marriage and the birth of a first child mark the primary passage into manhood. Why? For many men, it is the first time they have been in charge with the complete service of another. Service can take many forms. Countless men have given their lives in pursuit of a cause, something equally as noble. Whether through kids or causes, becoming a man means serving someone or something greater than you. For many men consistency is a tough quality to attain, using rebellious words such as “I’ll do what I want, when I want “attitude that we take such pride in. " Independence is easy , something any youth can achieve. Absolute independence often acts as the disguise for immaturity and insecurity. Consistency is a sign of maturity and manhood. Real men are people that others can count on. Whether it is simply doing what they say they'll do or being at the right place at the right time. Becoming a man means being consistent. Showing up to work late, missing appointments, not returning phone calls are all sighs of immaturity. If you look at the men females look up to the most, all of them have gained respect and trust through consistency.
Real men are secure in their abilities and do not find it necessary to place them in higher esteem than those around them. They are often the quickest to share glory with others. Humility is often thought of as a "soft" trait, hardly the first thing that comes to mind when you think "man." But truthfully cockiness is most often displayed by those who have the least cocky to be about. In securities form as they grasp for the compliments and praise they so desperately need to feel accepted by others. It seems as you study the men in history we consider great or heroic, their life is often characterized not by how high they have attempted to maneuver themselves in respect to other men, but rather how low. In the movie "Gladiator" we see this displayed in convincing fashion. The coward son of Marcus Aurelius fought to mask his insecurities through swagger and a mad dash for power. In contrast, “The Hero Maximus " the epitome of manhood, consistently chooses restraint and humility. He took care of the men around him, teaching them how to fight in the arena, and not for a second deeming himself more valuable or worthy. In result his men adored him and many gave their lives for him. The great power of Maximus was in his humility. Selflessness, consistency and humility, are the three traits that have stood out as defining characteristics of passage into manhood. So do you feel like a man yet? Deep down every young guy wants and needs approval from the elders around them of manhood showing acceptance as a member an equal. You will notice you have grown as years go by and you pass these stages one by one. You will receive slaps on the back from family and friends, nods of approval, choruses of “You are really growing up” indicating admissions into the “Men’s Club"