Bullying Definition Essay
INTRODUCTION
What is Bullying
Aggressive behavior may be bullying depending on what happened, how often it happens and who it happens to. Find out what bullying is and what the different types are. You can also learn more about other topics related to bullying.
Bullying Definition
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.
The Roles Kids Play
There are many roles that kids can play. Kids can bully others, they can be bullied, or they …show more content…
may witness bullying. When kids are involved in bullying, they often play more than one role. It is important to understand the multiple roles kids play in order to effectively prevent and respond to bullying.
Related Topics
There are many other types of aggressive behavior that don’t fit the definition of bullying. This does not mean that they are any less serious or require less attention than bullying. Rather, these behaviors require different prevention and response strategies.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is a pattern of aggressive behaviour meant to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. Bullies always have more power than victims. Their power comes from physical size, strength, status, and support within the peer group.
There are three types of bullying:
Physical: a person is harmed or their property damaged
Some examples are: slapping, hitting, pinching, punching, kicking locking in a confined space unwelcome touching extortion Verbal: a person’s feelings are hurt through insults and name-calling
Some examples are: name-calling unwelcome teasing taunting spreading rumours, gossiping racist or homophobic comments
Social: a person is shunned or excluded from groups and events.
Some examples are: excluding from a group threatening or insulting graffiti threatening notes, letters, emails, telephone calls threatening words, actions or weapons
Bullying may be obvious or hidden. Children who are being bullied...or are bullying others may: complain of being poorly treated change their behaviour (for example, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, angry outbursts, being sick in the morning, become more aggressive towards siblings) be unwilling to leave the house, change their route to school, or skip school come home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises, new clothes or other items, or money not accounted for talk about responding to others in a way that may result in the school taking disciplinary action start doing poorly in school
The terms harassment and intimidation are sometimes used when referring to bullying situations involving junior and senior high students.
Harassment is any behaviour or comment that is hurtful, degrading, humiliating or offensive to another person.
Intimidation is the act of causing fear in order to force or influence someone to do, or not to do, something.
Some examples of harassment and intimidation: name-calling unwelcome teasing locking in a confined space racist or homophobic slurs unwelcome touching threatening notes, letters, e-mails threatening words, actions or weapons taunting excluding from a group spreading rumours threatening or insulting graffiti stalking extortion
WHO ARE THE VICTIMS OF BULLYING
Bullying victims tend to be polar opposites of bullies. They are often shy and quiet, with few friends and little social support at school. They may be physically weak or lack confidence in their strength. Hence, they rarely stand up to bullies.
Victims often have poor social skills. One study showed that students and teachers perceive victims to: display vulnerability (e.g., “look scared”). be nonassertive (e.g., “gives in to the bully too easily”). reward, and thus reinforce, bullying (e.g., “cries when picked on”). be withdrawn and solitary (e.g., “talks quietly”). be “provocative” or “aggressive” (e.g., “annoys other kids”).
Most victims do nothing actively to provoke their tormentors. Their helplessness does it for them. But as the last item above suggests, one subgroup is different: “provocative” or “aggressive” victims. These youths are impulsive and socially clumsy. They often have reading and writing problems and show characteristics of attention-deficit disorder (ADHD). Their behavior tends to elicit negative reactions from other students. Because these youngsters may even try to bully others themselves, some call them “bully-victims.”
In his study “Bullies, Aggressive Victims and Victims: Are They Distinct Groups?” James D. Unnevern of Radford University found that aggressive victims were less proactively aggressive but more reactively aggressive than pure bullies. They were also substantially more proactively aggressive than pure victims.
Most studies show more boys are bullies than girls. Yet girls bully, too. Although physical bullying happens among girls, they tend to use subtler and less-direct tactics such as excluding someone from their group, spreading rumors or manipulating friendship relations. In one study of middle-school peer harassment, however, there were no differences in the perceptions of bullying between boys and girls.
Online, girls generally mock others’ appearance, while boys tend to make more sexually explicit comments, according to Mary Worthington, an elementary education counselor for the Network of Victim Assistance (NOVA), which offers prevention-education programs to students and parents.
Why Does Bullying Happen? New page Hide edit links
School and community –
Reflects the attitudes towards bullying in the wider community eg on the sports field, in parliament,
Limited state legislation inadvertently condones school bullying or limits funding programs,
Restricted funding reduces training for teachers and limits implementation opportunities for schools to deal with it effectively.
Many school deny bullying and refuse to confront it,
Some schools pretend to care, show you their policy but don’t actually implement or intervene effectively when kids report bullying. They even allow staff to be bullied.
Many teachers are handicapped by a lack of support from senior management at their school.
Most schools don’t actively involve or assist the families who role model inappropriate behaviours to their children, influencing them to become targets, bullies or both.
Most schools allow teachers or parents to bully or vice versa, creating an inappropriate role model for their children. eg how can a bullied teacher help a bullied child?
Most schools don’t place formal expectations upon the onlookers/peer-group/ witnesses to intervene, challenge, report or support both targets and bullies. Many schools adopt the latest fashion in reducing bullying without considering an overall plan and evaluating it regularly, or they use band-aid approaches.
Families
Bullies are bred in homes where inconsistent parenting patterns and inconsistent consequences and abusive, bullying behaviours become the role model. Some are spoilt children who never experience any behaviour boundaries. Some come from homes where there are so many problems that they are neglected emotionally or where the relationship between their parents is poor, stressful and even abusive.
There are two main types of bullies, the malicious who have been born with psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies (their brains are wired differently to ordinary children eg they like hurting animals) and those who are basically non-malicious but use bullying behaviours.
They think:
It’s a game
I can get away with it
It will make me popular
They are so weak
It does not hurt
Everyone does it
The target:
Wrong place /wrong time
Does nothing
Reacts and becomes upset, angry, sad
Has poor social or assertive skills
Limited support network
Over protective parents
Not used to blocking mean kids
Special child
Don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they live in caring environments
Experience severe life stressors, (eg parents difficulties, financial problems) which interfere with their ability to develop social resilience and protect themselves.
Some children believe in justice and fight back. ‘How dare they tease me?’ ‘He started it.’
Sensitive children can expect others to treat them as carefully as their families do. But other kids don’t care how they feel and take advantage the target’s vulnerabilities to play the bully game.
Some expect to be treated with respect and regard to their feelings but have no interest in how they use, abuse or treat others. The other child retaliates and bullies back.
Injuries or Damage
1. The target can be affected at school
Girls become sad and boys become mad.
The target can be injured emotionally, physically, academically and socially.
They can lose motivation, concentration and their schoolwork suffers.
This may affect their choice of career.
They experience poor self-esteem, physical health difficulties, anxiety disorders, including panic attacks, depression, suicide attempts (some are successful) and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Bullying can lead to shyness, social isolation or a social phobia.
Children who are victims of bullying may become school refusers.
The damage can affect targets of school bullying later on.
The victim's choice of partner, career, social life, physical and mental health can be affected over a long period of time.
Adults who were severely victimised at school can be less successful in achieving satisfactory intimate relationships.
Some victims are bullied at work.
Damage to bully
Many bullies find it hard to cope with their studies in higher grades; they are more likely to drop out of school earlier.
Once the peer group have developed a sense of identity they associate with kids who respect equality in friendships. They abandon the bully because they don’t want to be bossed or bullied and be told what to do and say, what to wear, where to go or whom to befriend.
Many students want a career and want to achieve at school, thus the lazy bully can be forced to hang around other losers.
The bully’s future
According to Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today, (1995) research has found that many bullies embark on a 'downwardly spiralling course' for the rest of their lives because of their inability to deal with conflict and violence.
Their bullying behaviours can interfere with their learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, physical and mental health.
They are more likely to become anti-social as adults and have difficulty creating close friendships.
Male bullies are more likely to batter and bash their wives, abuse their children, abuse alcohol and drugs.
Female bullies tend to lose their friends.
Bully dropouts are likely to have a criminal record by the time they are 24.
The bully who is successful in his career can be tripped up later on, when the impact is greater.
They are more likely to create another generation of bullies. Parents
Feel powerless when they are unable to protect their children.
It can remind them of their own school difficulties or other difficulties eg shyness.
Parents become very angry when schools don’t deal with it immediately or can’t do enough.
It can be a very traumatic experience for parents.
Become threatened if their parenting patterns are challenged.
Don’t always want to be referred for help.
Peers
Feel bad and guilty because they don't know what to do.
Fear that they will become the next target.
Torn between their friends.
Realise that the target may exacerbate the situation but can’t tell them or are not heard by the target.
Can’t confront the bullies.
Don’t want to be involved.
Can become a secondary victim or affected by poor class morale.
The school
Does not like students leaving, poor morale, reduced class motivation to study, lower academic results, poor public relations, lowered school results.
In many schools a few students leaving due to bullying can equate to a teacher’s salary.
In summary:
Schools have a legal and moral duty of care towards their students and an obligation to reduce all forms of bullying around the school.
Parents are responsible for teaching their children social survival skills or social resilience. Let's face it, when their child leaves school for the day or for good, bullying is everywhere, on the road, among their friends and at work!
All students need to develop their social and emotional resilience by developing their social survival skills. Then they can create true friendships, a supportive network and block teasing, bullying and harassment.
The peer group needs to know how to take action to protect vulnerable kids and intervene respectfully.
The target needs to learn how to communicate what they think, feel and would like. They need to distinguish between friends who care and those who don't. They need to look for true friends rather than belong to a popular group. They need to use their survival instinct to choose true friends and whom to avoid.
The bully needs to learn more effective ways of relating with empathy. They also need to learn how to show frustration, displeasure and disinterest in appropriate ways.
Where does bullying happen?
Posted on February 22nd, 2010 by Richard Paul
According to (Hoover,Oliver and Hazler 1992) most of the bullying happens at school and on the school bus to and from school. I know most of the bullying for me in grade school happened to and from school. In my case one of the safety boys who was suppose to be our friend was really a bully.
I have talked to students who have said that they have been bullied in the classroom when the teacher isn’t looking.
This is why we have to continue to look for signs in our children.
If they are upset all the time or are not eating or don’t want to go on the bus or go to school this is when you have to step in and find out what is going on. Think when you were a kid and how you didn’t want to be the kid that was the cry baby and then take the appropriate action.
Prevent Bullying
Parents, school staff, and other adults in the community can help kids prevent bullying by talking about it, building a safe school environment, and creating a community-wide bullying prevention strategy. Find out what you can do.
How to Talk About Bullying
Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can help kids understand bullying, keep the lines of communication open, encourage kids to do what they love, and model how to treat others with kindness and respect.
Prevention at School
Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.
Working in the Community
Bullying can be prevented, especially when the power of a community is brought together. Community-wide strategies can help identify and support children who are bullied, redirect the behavior of children who bully, and change the attitudes of adults and youth who tolerate bullying behaviors in peer groups, schools, and communities.
Bullying Prevention Training Center
Across the country, local leaders are stepping up to address bullying.
Our Bullying Prevention Training Modules are designed to provide individuals with research-based tools and resources to organize effective bullying prevention efforts in their communities.
HOW DO WE STOP BULLYING AT SCHOOL
The best and most obvious way to stop bullying in schools is for parents to change the way they parent their children at home. Of course, this is much easier said than done and everyone parents their children differently. Bullies, however, come from homes where physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the way to handle problems and “get their way.”
Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot, so violence has been modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies’ lives and there seems to be little warmth.
Early intervention and effective discipline and boundaries truly is the best way to stop bullying, but parents of the victims or therapists cannot change the bully’s home environment. Some things can be done at the school level, however.
Most school programs that address bullying use a multi-faceted approach to the problem. This usually involves counseling of some sort, either by peers, a school counselor, teachers, or the
principal.
Hand out questionnaires to all students and teachers and discuss if bullying is occurring. Define exactly what constitutes bullying at school. The questionnaire is a wonderful tool that allows the school to see how widespread bullying is and what forms it is taking. It is a good way to start to address the problem.
Get the children’s parents involved in a bullying program. If parents of the bullies and the victims are not aware of what is going on at school, then the whole bullying program will not be effective. Stopping bullying in school takes teamwork and concentrated effort on everyone’s part. Bullying also should be discussed during parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings. Parental awareness is key.
In the classroom setting, all teachers should work with the students on bullying. Oftentimes even the teacher is being bullied in the classroom and a program should be set up that implements teaching about bullying. Children understand modeling behaviors and role-play and acting out bullying situations is a very effective tool. Have students role-play a bullying situation.
Rules that involve bullying behaviors should be clearly posted. Schools also could ask local mental health professionals to speak to students about bullying behaviors and how it directly affects the victims.
Schools need to make sure there is enough adult supervision at school to lessen and prevent bullying.
A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened. Schools and parents must educate children about bullying behaviors; it will help all children feel safe and secure at school. Children who bully need to be taught empathy for others’ feelings in order to change their behaviors and the school must adopt a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.
SIGNIFICANTS OF THE STUDY
HOW TO KNOW HOW TO AVOID BULLYING
10 Steps to Stop and Prevent Bullying
Download Bully Free Public Service Announcements
Whether you are a parent, an educator, or a concerned friend of the family, there are ten steps you can take to stop and prevent bullying:
Pay attention. There are many warning signs that may point to a bullying problem, such as unexplained injuries, lost or destroyed personal items, changes in eating habits, and avoidance of school or other social situations. However, every student may not exhibit warning signs, or may go to great lengths to hide it. This is where paying attention is most valuable. Engage students on a daily basis and ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation.
Don’t ignore it. Never assume that a situation is harmless teasing. Different students have different levels of coping; what may be considered teasing to one may be humiliating and devastating to another. Whenever a student feels threatened in any way, take it seriously, and assure the student that you are there for them and will help.
When you see something – do something. Intervene as soon as you even think there may be a problem between students. Don’t brush it off as “kids are just being kids. They’ll get over it.” Some never do, and it affects them for a lifetime. All questionable behavior should be addressed immediately to keep a situation from escalating. Summon other adults if you deem the situation may get out of hand. Be sure to always refer to your school’s anti-bullying policy.
Remain calm. When you intervene, refuse to argue with either student. Model the respectful behavior you expect from the students. First make sure everyone is safe and that no one needs immediate medical attention. Reassure the students involved, as well as the bystanders. Explain to them what needs to happen next – bystanders go on to their expected destination while the students involved should be taken separately to a safe place.
Deal with students individually. Don’t attempt to sort out the facts while everyone is present, don’t allow the students involved to talk with one another, and don’t ask bystanders to tell what they saw in front of others. Instead, talk with the individuals involved – including bystanders – on a one-on-one basis. This way, everyone will be able to tell their side of the story without worrying about what others may think or say.
Don’t make the students involved apologize and/or shake hands on the spot. Label the behavior as bullying. Explain that you take this type of behavior very seriously and that you plan to get to the bottom of it before you determine what should be done next and any resulting consequences based on your school’s anti-bullying policy. This empowers the bullied child – and the bystanders – to feel that someone will finally listen to their concerns and be fair about outcomes.
Hold bystanders accountable. Bystanders provide bullies an audience, and often actually encourage bullying. Explain that this type of behavior is wrong, will not be tolerated, and that they also have a right and a responsibility to stop bullying. Identify yourself as a caring adult that they can always approach if they are being bullied and/or see or suspect bullying.
Listen and don’t pre-judge. It is very possible that the person you suspect to be the bully may actually be a bullied student retaliating or a “bully’s” cry for help. It may also be the result of an undiagnosed medical, emotional or psychological issue. Rather than make any assumptions, listen to each child with an open mind.
Get appropriate professional help. Be careful not to give any advice beyond your level of expertise. Rather than make any assumptions, if you deem there are any underlying and/or unsolved issues, refer the student to a nurse, counselor, school psychologist, social worker, or other appropriate professional.
Become trained to handle bullying situations. If you work with students in any capacity, it is important to learn the proper ways to address bullying.
WHY PREVENTING BULLYING IS IMPORTANT
Bullying affects everyone – not only the youth who are bullied but also those who bully, those who witness bullying – even the whole school and community.
At its core, bullying is a human rights violation. Bullying takes away students’ rights to education and to freedom from persecution and discrimination. We all are obligated to ensure that these rights are protected.
Research about the impact of bullying continues to grow. It suggests that those who bully and are bullied are at risk for many negative outcomes, such as those listed below. Many of these outcomes can last well into adulthood. Bullying is often just one of many factors involved in these negative outcomes; it alone is not the cause. Also, not all youth who are bullied or engage in bullying behaviors will develop these outcomes. But for those who do, the costs are high.
Sadly, bullies end up being losers in a big way.
Society as a whole pays the price for their inability to relate to others in an assertive, empathic, respectful manner. They have a basic right to live a normal life, respected (not feared) by others and able to maintain healthy, rewarding relationships.
What is Bullying
Aggressive behavior may be bullying depending on what happened, how often it happens and who it happens to. Find out what bullying is and what the different types are. You can also learn more about other topics related to bullying.
Bullying Definition
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.
The Roles Kids Play
There are many roles that kids can play. Kids can bully others, they can be bullied, or they …show more content…
may witness bullying. When kids are involved in bullying, they often play more than one role. It is important to understand the multiple roles kids play in order to effectively prevent and respond to bullying.
Related Topics
There are many other types of aggressive behavior that don’t fit the definition of bullying. This does not mean that they are any less serious or require less attention than bullying. Rather, these behaviors require different prevention and response strategies.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is a pattern of aggressive behaviour meant to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. Bullies always have more power than victims. Their power comes from physical size, strength, status, and support within the peer group.
There are three types of bullying:
Physical: a person is harmed or their property damaged
Some examples are: slapping, hitting, pinching, punching, kicking locking in a confined space unwelcome touching extortion Verbal: a person’s feelings are hurt through insults and name-calling
Some examples are: name-calling unwelcome teasing taunting spreading rumours, gossiping racist or homophobic comments
Social: a person is shunned or excluded from groups and events.
Some examples are: excluding from a group threatening or insulting graffiti threatening notes, letters, emails, telephone calls threatening words, actions or weapons
Bullying may be obvious or hidden. Children who are being bullied...or are bullying others may: complain of being poorly treated change their behaviour (for example, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, angry outbursts, being sick in the morning, become more aggressive towards siblings) be unwilling to leave the house, change their route to school, or skip school come home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises, new clothes or other items, or money not accounted for talk about responding to others in a way that may result in the school taking disciplinary action start doing poorly in school
The terms harassment and intimidation are sometimes used when referring to bullying situations involving junior and senior high students.
Harassment is any behaviour or comment that is hurtful, degrading, humiliating or offensive to another person.
Intimidation is the act of causing fear in order to force or influence someone to do, or not to do, something.
Some examples of harassment and intimidation: name-calling unwelcome teasing locking in a confined space racist or homophobic slurs unwelcome touching threatening notes, letters, e-mails threatening words, actions or weapons taunting excluding from a group spreading rumours threatening or insulting graffiti stalking extortion
WHO ARE THE VICTIMS OF BULLYING
Bullying victims tend to be polar opposites of bullies. They are often shy and quiet, with few friends and little social support at school. They may be physically weak or lack confidence in their strength. Hence, they rarely stand up to bullies.
Victims often have poor social skills. One study showed that students and teachers perceive victims to: display vulnerability (e.g., “look scared”). be nonassertive (e.g., “gives in to the bully too easily”). reward, and thus reinforce, bullying (e.g., “cries when picked on”). be withdrawn and solitary (e.g., “talks quietly”). be “provocative” or “aggressive” (e.g., “annoys other kids”).
Most victims do nothing actively to provoke their tormentors. Their helplessness does it for them. But as the last item above suggests, one subgroup is different: “provocative” or “aggressive” victims. These youths are impulsive and socially clumsy. They often have reading and writing problems and show characteristics of attention-deficit disorder (ADHD). Their behavior tends to elicit negative reactions from other students. Because these youngsters may even try to bully others themselves, some call them “bully-victims.”
In his study “Bullies, Aggressive Victims and Victims: Are They Distinct Groups?” James D. Unnevern of Radford University found that aggressive victims were less proactively aggressive but more reactively aggressive than pure bullies. They were also substantially more proactively aggressive than pure victims.
Most studies show more boys are bullies than girls. Yet girls bully, too. Although physical bullying happens among girls, they tend to use subtler and less-direct tactics such as excluding someone from their group, spreading rumors or manipulating friendship relations. In one study of middle-school peer harassment, however, there were no differences in the perceptions of bullying between boys and girls.
Online, girls generally mock others’ appearance, while boys tend to make more sexually explicit comments, according to Mary Worthington, an elementary education counselor for the Network of Victim Assistance (NOVA), which offers prevention-education programs to students and parents.
Why Does Bullying Happen? New page Hide edit links
School and community –
Reflects the attitudes towards bullying in the wider community eg on the sports field, in parliament,
Limited state legislation inadvertently condones school bullying or limits funding programs,
Restricted funding reduces training for teachers and limits implementation opportunities for schools to deal with it effectively.
Many school deny bullying and refuse to confront it,
Some schools pretend to care, show you their policy but don’t actually implement or intervene effectively when kids report bullying. They even allow staff to be bullied.
Many teachers are handicapped by a lack of support from senior management at their school.
Most schools don’t actively involve or assist the families who role model inappropriate behaviours to their children, influencing them to become targets, bullies or both.
Most schools allow teachers or parents to bully or vice versa, creating an inappropriate role model for their children. eg how can a bullied teacher help a bullied child?
Most schools don’t place formal expectations upon the onlookers/peer-group/ witnesses to intervene, challenge, report or support both targets and bullies. Many schools adopt the latest fashion in reducing bullying without considering an overall plan and evaluating it regularly, or they use band-aid approaches.
Families
Bullies are bred in homes where inconsistent parenting patterns and inconsistent consequences and abusive, bullying behaviours become the role model. Some are spoilt children who never experience any behaviour boundaries. Some come from homes where there are so many problems that they are neglected emotionally or where the relationship between their parents is poor, stressful and even abusive.
There are two main types of bullies, the malicious who have been born with psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies (their brains are wired differently to ordinary children eg they like hurting animals) and those who are basically non-malicious but use bullying behaviours.
They think:
It’s a game
I can get away with it
It will make me popular
They are so weak
It does not hurt
Everyone does it
The target:
Wrong place /wrong time
Does nothing
Reacts and becomes upset, angry, sad
Has poor social or assertive skills
Limited support network
Over protective parents
Not used to blocking mean kids
Special child
Don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they live in caring environments
Experience severe life stressors, (eg parents difficulties, financial problems) which interfere with their ability to develop social resilience and protect themselves.
Some children believe in justice and fight back. ‘How dare they tease me?’ ‘He started it.’
Sensitive children can expect others to treat them as carefully as their families do. But other kids don’t care how they feel and take advantage the target’s vulnerabilities to play the bully game.
Some expect to be treated with respect and regard to their feelings but have no interest in how they use, abuse or treat others. The other child retaliates and bullies back.
Injuries or Damage
1. The target can be affected at school
Girls become sad and boys become mad.
The target can be injured emotionally, physically, academically and socially.
They can lose motivation, concentration and their schoolwork suffers.
This may affect their choice of career.
They experience poor self-esteem, physical health difficulties, anxiety disorders, including panic attacks, depression, suicide attempts (some are successful) and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Bullying can lead to shyness, social isolation or a social phobia.
Children who are victims of bullying may become school refusers.
The damage can affect targets of school bullying later on.
The victim's choice of partner, career, social life, physical and mental health can be affected over a long period of time.
Adults who were severely victimised at school can be less successful in achieving satisfactory intimate relationships.
Some victims are bullied at work.
Damage to bully
Many bullies find it hard to cope with their studies in higher grades; they are more likely to drop out of school earlier.
Once the peer group have developed a sense of identity they associate with kids who respect equality in friendships. They abandon the bully because they don’t want to be bossed or bullied and be told what to do and say, what to wear, where to go or whom to befriend.
Many students want a career and want to achieve at school, thus the lazy bully can be forced to hang around other losers.
The bully’s future
According to Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today, (1995) research has found that many bullies embark on a 'downwardly spiralling course' for the rest of their lives because of their inability to deal with conflict and violence.
Their bullying behaviours can interfere with their learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, physical and mental health.
They are more likely to become anti-social as adults and have difficulty creating close friendships.
Male bullies are more likely to batter and bash their wives, abuse their children, abuse alcohol and drugs.
Female bullies tend to lose their friends.
Bully dropouts are likely to have a criminal record by the time they are 24.
The bully who is successful in his career can be tripped up later on, when the impact is greater.
They are more likely to create another generation of bullies. Parents
Feel powerless when they are unable to protect their children.
It can remind them of their own school difficulties or other difficulties eg shyness.
Parents become very angry when schools don’t deal with it immediately or can’t do enough.
It can be a very traumatic experience for parents.
Become threatened if their parenting patterns are challenged.
Don’t always want to be referred for help.
Peers
Feel bad and guilty because they don't know what to do.
Fear that they will become the next target.
Torn between their friends.
Realise that the target may exacerbate the situation but can’t tell them or are not heard by the target.
Can’t confront the bullies.
Don’t want to be involved.
Can become a secondary victim or affected by poor class morale.
The school
Does not like students leaving, poor morale, reduced class motivation to study, lower academic results, poor public relations, lowered school results.
In many schools a few students leaving due to bullying can equate to a teacher’s salary.
In summary:
Schools have a legal and moral duty of care towards their students and an obligation to reduce all forms of bullying around the school.
Parents are responsible for teaching their children social survival skills or social resilience. Let's face it, when their child leaves school for the day or for good, bullying is everywhere, on the road, among their friends and at work!
All students need to develop their social and emotional resilience by developing their social survival skills. Then they can create true friendships, a supportive network and block teasing, bullying and harassment.
The peer group needs to know how to take action to protect vulnerable kids and intervene respectfully.
The target needs to learn how to communicate what they think, feel and would like. They need to distinguish between friends who care and those who don't. They need to look for true friends rather than belong to a popular group. They need to use their survival instinct to choose true friends and whom to avoid.
The bully needs to learn more effective ways of relating with empathy. They also need to learn how to show frustration, displeasure and disinterest in appropriate ways.
Where does bullying happen?
Posted on February 22nd, 2010 by Richard Paul
According to (Hoover,Oliver and Hazler 1992) most of the bullying happens at school and on the school bus to and from school. I know most of the bullying for me in grade school happened to and from school. In my case one of the safety boys who was suppose to be our friend was really a bully.
I have talked to students who have said that they have been bullied in the classroom when the teacher isn’t looking.
This is why we have to continue to look for signs in our children.
If they are upset all the time or are not eating or don’t want to go on the bus or go to school this is when you have to step in and find out what is going on. Think when you were a kid and how you didn’t want to be the kid that was the cry baby and then take the appropriate action.
Prevent Bullying
Parents, school staff, and other adults in the community can help kids prevent bullying by talking about it, building a safe school environment, and creating a community-wide bullying prevention strategy. Find out what you can do.
How to Talk About Bullying
Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can help kids understand bullying, keep the lines of communication open, encourage kids to do what they love, and model how to treat others with kindness and respect.
Prevention at School
Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.
Working in the Community
Bullying can be prevented, especially when the power of a community is brought together. Community-wide strategies can help identify and support children who are bullied, redirect the behavior of children who bully, and change the attitudes of adults and youth who tolerate bullying behaviors in peer groups, schools, and communities.
Bullying Prevention Training Center
Across the country, local leaders are stepping up to address bullying.
Our Bullying Prevention Training Modules are designed to provide individuals with research-based tools and resources to organize effective bullying prevention efforts in their communities.
HOW DO WE STOP BULLYING AT SCHOOL
The best and most obvious way to stop bullying in schools is for parents to change the way they parent their children at home. Of course, this is much easier said than done and everyone parents their children differently. Bullies, however, come from homes where physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the way to handle problems and “get their way.”
Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot, so violence has been modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies’ lives and there seems to be little warmth.
Early intervention and effective discipline and boundaries truly is the best way to stop bullying, but parents of the victims or therapists cannot change the bully’s home environment. Some things can be done at the school level, however.
Most school programs that address bullying use a multi-faceted approach to the problem. This usually involves counseling of some sort, either by peers, a school counselor, teachers, or the
principal.
Hand out questionnaires to all students and teachers and discuss if bullying is occurring. Define exactly what constitutes bullying at school. The questionnaire is a wonderful tool that allows the school to see how widespread bullying is and what forms it is taking. It is a good way to start to address the problem.
Get the children’s parents involved in a bullying program. If parents of the bullies and the victims are not aware of what is going on at school, then the whole bullying program will not be effective. Stopping bullying in school takes teamwork and concentrated effort on everyone’s part. Bullying also should be discussed during parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings. Parental awareness is key.
In the classroom setting, all teachers should work with the students on bullying. Oftentimes even the teacher is being bullied in the classroom and a program should be set up that implements teaching about bullying. Children understand modeling behaviors and role-play and acting out bullying situations is a very effective tool. Have students role-play a bullying situation.
Rules that involve bullying behaviors should be clearly posted. Schools also could ask local mental health professionals to speak to students about bullying behaviors and how it directly affects the victims.
Schools need to make sure there is enough adult supervision at school to lessen and prevent bullying.
A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened. Schools and parents must educate children about bullying behaviors; it will help all children feel safe and secure at school. Children who bully need to be taught empathy for others’ feelings in order to change their behaviors and the school must adopt a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.
SIGNIFICANTS OF THE STUDY
HOW TO KNOW HOW TO AVOID BULLYING
10 Steps to Stop and Prevent Bullying
Download Bully Free Public Service Announcements
Whether you are a parent, an educator, or a concerned friend of the family, there are ten steps you can take to stop and prevent bullying:
Pay attention. There are many warning signs that may point to a bullying problem, such as unexplained injuries, lost or destroyed personal items, changes in eating habits, and avoidance of school or other social situations. However, every student may not exhibit warning signs, or may go to great lengths to hide it. This is where paying attention is most valuable. Engage students on a daily basis and ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation.
Don’t ignore it. Never assume that a situation is harmless teasing. Different students have different levels of coping; what may be considered teasing to one may be humiliating and devastating to another. Whenever a student feels threatened in any way, take it seriously, and assure the student that you are there for them and will help.
When you see something – do something. Intervene as soon as you even think there may be a problem between students. Don’t brush it off as “kids are just being kids. They’ll get over it.” Some never do, and it affects them for a lifetime. All questionable behavior should be addressed immediately to keep a situation from escalating. Summon other adults if you deem the situation may get out of hand. Be sure to always refer to your school’s anti-bullying policy.
Remain calm. When you intervene, refuse to argue with either student. Model the respectful behavior you expect from the students. First make sure everyone is safe and that no one needs immediate medical attention. Reassure the students involved, as well as the bystanders. Explain to them what needs to happen next – bystanders go on to their expected destination while the students involved should be taken separately to a safe place.
Deal with students individually. Don’t attempt to sort out the facts while everyone is present, don’t allow the students involved to talk with one another, and don’t ask bystanders to tell what they saw in front of others. Instead, talk with the individuals involved – including bystanders – on a one-on-one basis. This way, everyone will be able to tell their side of the story without worrying about what others may think or say.
Don’t make the students involved apologize and/or shake hands on the spot. Label the behavior as bullying. Explain that you take this type of behavior very seriously and that you plan to get to the bottom of it before you determine what should be done next and any resulting consequences based on your school’s anti-bullying policy. This empowers the bullied child – and the bystanders – to feel that someone will finally listen to their concerns and be fair about outcomes.
Hold bystanders accountable. Bystanders provide bullies an audience, and often actually encourage bullying. Explain that this type of behavior is wrong, will not be tolerated, and that they also have a right and a responsibility to stop bullying. Identify yourself as a caring adult that they can always approach if they are being bullied and/or see or suspect bullying.
Listen and don’t pre-judge. It is very possible that the person you suspect to be the bully may actually be a bullied student retaliating or a “bully’s” cry for help. It may also be the result of an undiagnosed medical, emotional or psychological issue. Rather than make any assumptions, listen to each child with an open mind.
Get appropriate professional help. Be careful not to give any advice beyond your level of expertise. Rather than make any assumptions, if you deem there are any underlying and/or unsolved issues, refer the student to a nurse, counselor, school psychologist, social worker, or other appropriate professional.
Become trained to handle bullying situations. If you work with students in any capacity, it is important to learn the proper ways to address bullying.
WHY PREVENTING BULLYING IS IMPORTANT
Bullying affects everyone – not only the youth who are bullied but also those who bully, those who witness bullying – even the whole school and community.
At its core, bullying is a human rights violation. Bullying takes away students’ rights to education and to freedom from persecution and discrimination. We all are obligated to ensure that these rights are protected.
Research about the impact of bullying continues to grow. It suggests that those who bully and are bullied are at risk for many negative outcomes, such as those listed below. Many of these outcomes can last well into adulthood. Bullying is often just one of many factors involved in these negative outcomes; it alone is not the cause. Also, not all youth who are bullied or engage in bullying behaviors will develop these outcomes. But for those who do, the costs are high.
Sadly, bullies end up being losers in a big way.
Society as a whole pays the price for their inability to relate to others in an assertive, empathic, respectful manner. They have a basic right to live a normal life, respected (not feared) by others and able to maintain healthy, rewarding relationships.