Personal Response: What are your initial reactions to the book? What insights, aha’s, or connections do you have based on your group’s conversation?
When I first started this book I had an idea that it was going to be really emotional and the boy was depressed for reasons because of home life, or just a sickness he couldn’t understand. But when it started out as such raw thoughts of a male teenage boy, I was completely caught off guard by how honest it was. It started out with his thoughts about the bathroom doors and the fact that he likes that he could lock himself in there if he wants to be alone. That alone speaks volumes about his personality. And then when his mother was talking to him and you could tell that they do not have a close relationship. She seems absent minded about his behavior. And the fact that he is putting his hands up girl’s shirt on the bus also says he has no filter as to right and wrong and thinks that that is okay to do. So overall the first pages of the book took me very much by surprise. It’s scary when he starts to discuss all the ways he has tried to kill himself and why they haven’t worked. My group and I decided that these suicide thoughts have been going on for quite some time If he is still considering killing himself after so many failed attempts.
We also discussed how quickly the suicide scene happened. I thought it would be more drawn out and have more of his thoughts but the only thoughts there were, were him telling himself to do it and then it suddenly was happening. And it ended quickly with him standing and opening the door. But the after math of him getting on the phone with 9-11 and flying to the hospital takes longer. And is thoughts are very raw at this point. He is trying to comprehend what is going on and where he is. And after the accident happen, the writing becomes very monotone. And also very rude to everyone he talks to. For example when Magic Johsnon gave him shoes