Case Study What's Eating Gilbert Grape

Another pattern that is present in the family system is the relationship with Bonnie and her children. Bonnie is obese and her children enable her behavior. It is through this pattern of behavior that Bonnie continues to remain obese, and is not an active participant in the family structure (see Appendix B for a circular graph showing the pattern of behavior). The children act as enablers as a way to cope with their mother’s condition. This allows their mother to be protected in her home environment, and not face the shame of her behavior. The children provide meals for Bonnie and even move the table to accommodate her sitting on the couch. The subject of her obesity is a taboo subject in the home, and the children tip toe behind Bonnie’s back
She demands that he does a better job, but refuses to participate in Arnie’s care herself. Ellen gets mad when Arnie climbs the water tower, and blames Gilbert, but he is expected to coax him down every time. This pattern affects the family as a whole due to the tension that is creating with the blaming behavior. These behaviors occur from a lack of coping with the anger, and the resentment of their responsibility. Their communication is affected by their emotions. The reality is that Gilbert has inherited a role that he struggles to maintain. He has too many responsibilities to be effective at carrying out all his duties. These are the same responsibilities that his father and his brother Larry have escaped from, which bring us to the pattern of the males leaving the family (see Appendix D for a circular graph showing the pattern of behavior). This is generational due to the father committing suicide therefore exiting the family system, and Larry leaving home. This creates a fear in Bonnie that Gilbert to will desert the family. Bonnie realizes that there is more out there for Gilbert, but does not want to lose the biggest part of her support
They are aware that Bonnie is obese and she does not take on any responsibilities in the family. Their reaction to her situation is to protect and care for their mother. This is evidenced by the fact that Amy and Ellen prepare the meals for the family, the food is brought to the mother at meal times, and secretly trying to fix broken items in the home so not to hurt her feelings. The shame is emphasized when Bonnie goes to the jail to retrieve Arnie. Bonnie is a spectacle that the town’s people gawk at and take pictures of. The children appear horrified by these actions and are embarrassed of their mother’s appearance. Although, the children feel protective of Bonnie’s there is an inconsistency in the message due to Gilbert. At one point Gilbert refers to his mother as a whale and he allows the neighborhood children to spy on his mother. Gilbert even assisted one of the boys by picking him up so he can look into the window. This is confusing because although he is ashamed of his mother’s weight, he is permitting the children to watch her like she the main attraction in a circus. The question is why he allows this, instead of continuing his protective nature. In the end, he continues his protectiveness of his mother by setting the house on fire so the she would not have to be removed from the home in an embarrassing manner. He wanted his mother’s to have