When you're in a relationship with somebody who suffers from an addiction, you can feel trapped and helpless. These feelings are even worse if you are in a co-dependent relationship. Relationships of this type are harmful to both the addicted person and their loved one, and they often make the addiction even worse. In fact, addiction may generate the co-dependent relationship where one didn't previously exist.
However, it is possible to understand the nature of these difficult relationships and find a way to break out of them. You don't necessarily need to break up with your addicted loved one, but it may be necessary to do so in order to regain your life and even give them an impetus …show more content…
This isn't to say that love isn't involved in the relationship. Even the person who is technically “using” the other one may feel a great degree of love, in their way. However, it is a type of love and relationship that is harmful to both members in many ways.
The causes of co-dependent relationships can be any number of things. Sometimes, co-dependent relationships don't start out that way, but progress there over time. One intriguing study, entitled “Codependency: Predictors And Psychometric Issues” explored the origin of these harmful relationships by giving a questionnaire to various people. They found that low-self esteem was the common predictor of co-dependent relationships.
In other words, people who suffered from low self-esteem were more likely to be either side of a co-dependent relationship. However, the caregiver role is more often filled by the person who struggles with confidence. They are willing to put up with a lot from their loved one and do things they know are bad for them simply to stay together. Many co-dependent people are afraid they'll never meet another person and end up being alone for the rest of their …show more content…
They probably try to pull you away when you go, too. However, you need to separate yourself from them physically whenever you can. Go visit friends and family without them and get a little personal time and love from them.
Meet new people – This is tough because your loved one might accuse you of trying to cheat on them. However, co-dependent relationships often become an island of social isolation from which there is no escape. Meeting new people can expand your social circle and give you stronger support when you need it the most.
Visit a counselor or psychiatrist – Avoid the temptation of couples therapy and talk to a therapist on your own. There's nothing wrong with couples therapy most of the time, but when you're in a co-dependent relationship, it can be easy to be influenced by the other person. Talk with your therapist about your problems, including your co-dependency, and they'll help you find ways to cope with