Controlling Relationships
Controlling Relationships
Being engaged to a controlling person sometimes causes you to lose control in every aspect of your life. Passive people like myself usually find controlling partners. Controlling people like my ex-fiancé usually find passive partners. We are "perfect" for each other. Being passive, I'm quite happy to be left alone. I sometimes don't have much to say, and I have to admit I sometimes can seem to be deaf when you try to discuss problems with me. While on the other hand a controlling person makes constant demands on their partners.
They have much to say, and they can act like they think they've been elected to tell everyone else how to live their lives. They are seldom content, and they seem to resent anyone who is. Since both controlling people and passive people have poor relationships, they experience a whole lot of loneliness. After a long while, all of this loneliness adds up and makes them realize they can survive on their own! Then they can stop trying to change their partner and simply enjoy them as they are. Unfortunately, both people need to learn from their loneliness-so they can grow into people who want each other instead of people who think they need each other. It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. A "bad" relationship is not the kind that is going through the usual periods of disagreement and disenchantment that are inevitable when two separate people come together. A bad relationship is one that involves continual frustration; the relationship seems to have potential but that potential is always just out of reach. In fact, the attachment in such relationships is to someone who is "unattainable" in the sense that he or she is committed to someone else, doesn't want a committed relationship, or is incapable of one. Bad relationships are chronically lacking in what one or both partners need. Such relationships can destroy self-esteem and prevent those
involved
Being engaged to a controlling person sometimes causes you to lose control in every aspect of your life. Passive people like myself usually find controlling partners. Controlling people like my ex-fiancé usually find passive partners. We are "perfect" for each other. Being passive, I'm quite happy to be left alone. I sometimes don't have much to say, and I have to admit I sometimes can seem to be deaf when you try to discuss problems with me. While on the other hand a controlling person makes constant demands on their partners.
They have much to say, and they can act like they think they've been elected to tell everyone else how to live their lives. They are seldom content, and they seem to resent anyone who is. Since both controlling people and passive people have poor relationships, they experience a whole lot of loneliness. After a long while, all of this loneliness adds up and makes them realize they can survive on their own! Then they can stop trying to change their partner and simply enjoy them as they are. Unfortunately, both people need to learn from their loneliness-so they can grow into people who want each other instead of people who think they need each other. It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. A "bad" relationship is not the kind that is going through the usual periods of disagreement and disenchantment that are inevitable when two separate people come together. A bad relationship is one that involves continual frustration; the relationship seems to have potential but that potential is always just out of reach. In fact, the attachment in such relationships is to someone who is "unattainable" in the sense that he or she is committed to someone else, doesn't want a committed relationship, or is incapable of one. Bad relationships are chronically lacking in what one or both partners need. Such relationships can destroy self-esteem and prevent those
involved