Creative Writing: Eulogy For Father

Your mother must have loved you so for I would love to have a daughter like you.
Yes, we had great fun together she was a musician and taught me the Piano, Violin, and I learnt the Flute at school, when she would go to perform she would always say to me look after those men of ours till I get back, I am, a drunken driver killed her on the way back home from performing. I lost it for a while but I’m ok now, however, I worry if my dad is late back from his surgery. Thank you so much, you will have a daughter of your own one day, remember to tell her what you have told me regularly, she may only have your words to hold onto one day, my dad tells me every day how beautiful I am, he has brainwashed me, I believe it lol, I asked my mum one day why daddy always says that, she said because you are, and one day a boy will say that to you and I want you to measure that boy against daddy, she was right and they don’t measure up lol. For about only five years I was a teacher and what drove me nuts about the school system is how administrators would change my grades ~ driving me nuts.
I want to work with children when I leave school, I want to be married with a family of my own most of
all though. I’m not sure anyone can change grades in the UK, my teacher is very strict indeed, Alice and I have had many detentions from her, but I deserved all mine, I like her very much as she makes lessons interesting and she likes reading and so do I, she lets me choose a book off amazon if I can go a whole month without getting a detention, I don’t get many books that way, she said I have the mind of someone much older and an understanding of worldly matters of someone much younger, I think that’s because I said in GS that Christian men only had sex with their wives until they had the children they wanted, Alice said I was stupid so I asked my dad and yes I was stupid. I buy all my books from charity shops if the cover is damaged I make a new one of my own design, it can take me days, my dad says the cover cost more than the book! He would buy me any books that I wanted, however, I like to see what I can find in those shops, my dad said I don’t sleep in a bedroom I sleep in a library.
Miss is working in my grammar at the moment, she told me it was appalling for someone who reads so much, she does not let me us the word “but” if I could use “however” or therefore she calls it transitional phrases, she said my worst point is

Students like you deserve all the credit yet punks like Alice would end up with the same grades making it all worthless.
Alice thinks that we just need to have fun, what she doesn’t realise is that I think its fun reading and making book covers, looking after my family, I love going to church, I even enjoy school, but sometimes I have too much homework, its ok for the other girls they have their mums to cook and clean. That is why I only lasted five years.
What do you do now? Do you miss the children? What age did you teach? Just remember that when you give her the answers you give her your grade.
She just takes my answers; if I have time sometimes I have a special homework for her to copy lol. Something she isn't worth.
I think she is looking for love in all the wrong places, she told me a man will never want me because I am to innocent, they want experienced women she said, I know this isn’t true, my dad said a decent man will want a decent woman.

Something tells me you will find yourself a great husband because he will have enough of Lucy Smith. How old is your brother?
I do hope so, my brother is 6 years older than I, my mum had a few miscarriages, she wanted another musician in the family, my brother is hopeless lol, my mum taught me the Piano from the age of 4 and the Violin from 7, I could play the Violin before she taught me really, but I loved her teaching me so I never told her, do you think that was wrong of me?
My music teacher at school wants me to go off to the RSM when I leave school but that’s in London and I don’t want to leave my dad, to be honest with you I loved my mum, not music, it’s in me and I can supress it for a while but every now and then I have to let it out, when my mum died I played my violin so mournfully it made my hard hearted brother cry, I wonder if we didn’t have music in our family my mum would still be with me
perhaps.
The picture that you liked was of my best friend Katie, we share this profile, she is the one looking surprised and the girl to her left is Alice, I took the photo. At that time I had to take my meals with a teacher because I had a problem with food, I’m ok now it was to do with the shock of losing my mum I think.
Kate plays the Piano and the Violin very badly lol, I like her more than anyone else other than my Dad, when my Mum died her friends wanted me to play her favourite piece at her funeral, I would normally just command the music to come out of me, I know this sounds crazy, but I just call each note in turn and they just pop out, I'm just a fraud really, when I had to play that piece all I could see was my mums coffin, the music just wasn’t there, Kate was the only one to approach me and say let me do this for you, the church was full of musicians any of them could have played that piece, Kate could not, she is hopeless on the violin, she was willing to make a fool of herself for me, I just seen love and compassion looking at me and the music came flooding out, I played that piece on my mums Violin, then placed it back on her coffin and that is where it still is in my mind.
We both love children (we don’t consider ourselves children.) when we have been to the charity shops to check the books and clothes, we go around the stores choosing clothes for our imaginary children, even checking out the buggies, but we have to be careful because if any of the boys from school see us in those shops they would ridicule and embarrass us, they are so immature