Creative Writing: The Saturday Night Fever Troll Scuffle
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The Saturday Night Fever Troll Scuffle
His name was Barry Smells Plenty for obvious reason, and he decided not to kill me at least not yet. He’d rather waddle around kicking me in the chin dressed in . . . wow. Can you say time warp? Barry wore a cheesy white bellbottomed suit that was identical to the one John Travolta wore in the movie Saturday Night Fever. He stamped out a kick-ball-chain next to my bed waking me up with another glossy leather loafer to the chin. “Let’s go, dummy! Get on the dance floor and ring my bell!” “Ouch!” I protested. The troll even lunged like a disco dancer with his legs spread apart and his finger pointed toward the sky. I kept waiting for a mirrored disco ball to slide into place instead, Barry clamped his hand around my mouth. I staggered, trying …show more content…
to break free, but his claws were like locking pliers. “Dipwad,” Barry snorted, spewing blue goo all over the carpet, “sprinkle the kid with the power.” Dipwad the droopy-diapered troll that had chased me down a few days before opened a tiny jewel-encrusted sack and teal colored magical dust snaked out and coiled around me like a scaly green vapor. My breath caught with a hitch I inhaled and their spell swallowed me. “Get dressed!” I stared at Barry’s gnarled warty paws, and fought the urge to obey, but found myself slipping on jeans and T-shirt. He pointed to the open window. “Wipe the silly grin off your face and let’s Boogie!” The drapes billowed for a moment, then fell slack, then filled again with night air as if confused by the scouring wind. I scrambled behind them in groggy daze. We crept through the tree to the other side and wandered along the sandy cliffs. Far below, the sea sucked on the sand as noisily as an old man without teeth who had been given a whistle. A few seagulls hung lazily in the dark up draughts, waiting for something to happen. We trudged across the sand and finally came to a fast-flowing river that glittered in the moonlight like soft liquid sliver. On either side, marshy riverbanks were punctuated with windswept willows weeping idly in the summer heat. Barry wagged his finger at me. “I told you I’d set things right and I will your time is coming. Now sit!” I plopped down under the trees tangled branches. Above me, the night was huge and everywhere, a sky frosted with stars and wild things—an infinitely deep, unfathomable realm. “So,” Dipwad said. “How’d you know where to find the boy?” “I discovered the opening,” Barry shouted over his shoulder as he slurped up river water. “Huh?” “I was taking a short cut through the woods the other day and I saw a tree with a huge hole in its side,” he explained. “I slipped in and crawled out in his yard.” Dipwad’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing.” “I told Gordok about the hole,” Barry hissed like air from a state-fair balloon. “And he insisted that I go back and snatch the boy.” “What does he want with that scrawny bit of human flesh anyway?” Barry shrugged. “Beats me.” “I thought he wanted him dead?” Dipwad snarled. “Yeah, yeah, he does. But he wants to kill him slowly. He said something about an eternity of pain. Who knows I just follow the man’s orders.” “Too bad,” Dipwad snickered. “I’m so hungry!” “No duh dude,” Barry agreed, his fiery red eyes glinting like garnets. “I’m starved!” I leaned against the tree. I could hear them, but I was too dazed to move. It was like I was being strangled by the swirl of dust. Oppressed and bewilderment by magic which hung around my mind, like a thick rope. Then, the wave of confusion passed and I felt like I was waking up from a dream. Barry threw a wad of gum at Dipwad and it stuck on his forehead. “Hey, he’s coming to, you better dust him again.” “I did it last time,” Dipwad grumbled. “It’s your turn.” Barry muttered something always getting stuck with losers, as he scattered the magic powder. Dipwad’s lower lip quivered. “Eyeballs . . . unbelievable! Why would someone waste a perfectly good jar of pickled of Eyeballs?” He sloshed across the mushy ground, through the silver water that smelled like sour gym socks. After a few moments, he was popping eyeballs in his mouth like M&M candies while Barry glared hungrily at me. Dipwad licked his clawed fingertips. “Do you want to kill him, or should I? We could tell Gordok we lost him in the woods or something and gobble him up. Accidents do happen.” Barry seemed to find the idea of gnawing on my bones extremely funny. He roared with laughter doubled over, and hugging his sides rolled in the dirt. Dipwad punched the big troll’s shoulder playfully, then he pushed me forward. “Move it sonny.” “Hey,” I said. “That’s my back!” Dipwad snapped his fingers. “Andale!”
* * * By the time, we made it back to the beach the sun was rising and specking the chocolate-colored pitted seaside cliffs with slanted shafts of yellow light. We picked our way down the steep path to the sand, where millions of blackbird’s birds were flapping and screeching and fishing in tide pools. “Look!” Barry pointed to tall rusted lighthouse jutting up from a pile of rocks. “We can wade out past the stones, cut across the jetty, and climb the crag.” “I don’t think that’ll work,” Dipwad argued.
“Why don’t we just swim over?” The two wrangled back and forth for hours, threatening a knock down drag out battle. But, in the end, they agreed to cross the wharf to a short pier and dash around it to the other side. Then scramble up the steep rocky slope and enter through the back of the lighthouse. I crept along behind Baby Huey and Disco Dan and watched as their plan unfold. It would have worked like a charm, except for one itty-bitty detail that hadn’t considered—the woman lounging inside on weathered blocks of stones. Actually, they weren’t really women, they weren’t even human. Their long, shiny red hair wafted too perfectly behind them without any wind. Their faces too flawless—beautiful in a severe sort of way, like figurines— mythic and utterly indifferent. They swished their blue-scaled tails pail as the summer sky and started to sing, voices harsh and smooth, like waves of pebbles and sway and I stopped worrying about what they were. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all, except how to keep time with their hypnotic chants. I sway like a ship at sea, slow dancing in a daze until the music
stopped. What happened? I wondered. Then I remembered reading somewhere that the songs of sirens were so irresistible it could rob a person of their very soul by drawing them into a fatal stupor. I turned to the trolls. They were in lullaby land, charmed, and bewitched. I luckily was mostly impervious to their enchanted voices, which was probably part of the aftereffect of the magic dust. I stared at the trolls for a moment then wished myself gone.
The Saturday Night Fever Troll Scuffle
His name was Barry Smells Plenty for obvious reason, and he decided not to kill me at least not yet. He’d rather waddle around kicking me in the chin dressed in . . . wow. Can you say time warp? Barry wore a cheesy white bellbottomed suit that was identical to the one John Travolta wore in the movie Saturday Night Fever. He stamped out a kick-ball-chain next to my bed waking me up with another glossy leather loafer to the chin. “Let’s go, dummy! Get on the dance floor and ring my bell!” “Ouch!” I protested. The troll even lunged like a disco dancer with his legs spread apart and his finger pointed toward the sky. I kept waiting for a mirrored disco ball to slide into place instead, Barry clamped his hand around my mouth. I staggered, trying …show more content…
to break free, but his claws were like locking pliers. “Dipwad,” Barry snorted, spewing blue goo all over the carpet, “sprinkle the kid with the power.” Dipwad the droopy-diapered troll that had chased me down a few days before opened a tiny jewel-encrusted sack and teal colored magical dust snaked out and coiled around me like a scaly green vapor. My breath caught with a hitch I inhaled and their spell swallowed me. “Get dressed!” I stared at Barry’s gnarled warty paws, and fought the urge to obey, but found myself slipping on jeans and T-shirt. He pointed to the open window. “Wipe the silly grin off your face and let’s Boogie!” The drapes billowed for a moment, then fell slack, then filled again with night air as if confused by the scouring wind. I scrambled behind them in groggy daze. We crept through the tree to the other side and wandered along the sandy cliffs. Far below, the sea sucked on the sand as noisily as an old man without teeth who had been given a whistle. A few seagulls hung lazily in the dark up draughts, waiting for something to happen. We trudged across the sand and finally came to a fast-flowing river that glittered in the moonlight like soft liquid sliver. On either side, marshy riverbanks were punctuated with windswept willows weeping idly in the summer heat. Barry wagged his finger at me. “I told you I’d set things right and I will your time is coming. Now sit!” I plopped down under the trees tangled branches. Above me, the night was huge and everywhere, a sky frosted with stars and wild things—an infinitely deep, unfathomable realm. “So,” Dipwad said. “How’d you know where to find the boy?” “I discovered the opening,” Barry shouted over his shoulder as he slurped up river water. “Huh?” “I was taking a short cut through the woods the other day and I saw a tree with a huge hole in its side,” he explained. “I slipped in and crawled out in his yard.” Dipwad’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing.” “I told Gordok about the hole,” Barry hissed like air from a state-fair balloon. “And he insisted that I go back and snatch the boy.” “What does he want with that scrawny bit of human flesh anyway?” Barry shrugged. “Beats me.” “I thought he wanted him dead?” Dipwad snarled. “Yeah, yeah, he does. But he wants to kill him slowly. He said something about an eternity of pain. Who knows I just follow the man’s orders.” “Too bad,” Dipwad snickered. “I’m so hungry!” “No duh dude,” Barry agreed, his fiery red eyes glinting like garnets. “I’m starved!” I leaned against the tree. I could hear them, but I was too dazed to move. It was like I was being strangled by the swirl of dust. Oppressed and bewilderment by magic which hung around my mind, like a thick rope. Then, the wave of confusion passed and I felt like I was waking up from a dream. Barry threw a wad of gum at Dipwad and it stuck on his forehead. “Hey, he’s coming to, you better dust him again.” “I did it last time,” Dipwad grumbled. “It’s your turn.” Barry muttered something always getting stuck with losers, as he scattered the magic powder. Dipwad’s lower lip quivered. “Eyeballs . . . unbelievable! Why would someone waste a perfectly good jar of pickled of Eyeballs?” He sloshed across the mushy ground, through the silver water that smelled like sour gym socks. After a few moments, he was popping eyeballs in his mouth like M&M candies while Barry glared hungrily at me. Dipwad licked his clawed fingertips. “Do you want to kill him, or should I? We could tell Gordok we lost him in the woods or something and gobble him up. Accidents do happen.” Barry seemed to find the idea of gnawing on my bones extremely funny. He roared with laughter doubled over, and hugging his sides rolled in the dirt. Dipwad punched the big troll’s shoulder playfully, then he pushed me forward. “Move it sonny.” “Hey,” I said. “That’s my back!” Dipwad snapped his fingers. “Andale!”
* * * By the time, we made it back to the beach the sun was rising and specking the chocolate-colored pitted seaside cliffs with slanted shafts of yellow light. We picked our way down the steep path to the sand, where millions of blackbird’s birds were flapping and screeching and fishing in tide pools. “Look!” Barry pointed to tall rusted lighthouse jutting up from a pile of rocks. “We can wade out past the stones, cut across the jetty, and climb the crag.” “I don’t think that’ll work,” Dipwad argued.
“Why don’t we just swim over?” The two wrangled back and forth for hours, threatening a knock down drag out battle. But, in the end, they agreed to cross the wharf to a short pier and dash around it to the other side. Then scramble up the steep rocky slope and enter through the back of the lighthouse. I crept along behind Baby Huey and Disco Dan and watched as their plan unfold. It would have worked like a charm, except for one itty-bitty detail that hadn’t considered—the woman lounging inside on weathered blocks of stones. Actually, they weren’t really women, they weren’t even human. Their long, shiny red hair wafted too perfectly behind them without any wind. Their faces too flawless—beautiful in a severe sort of way, like figurines— mythic and utterly indifferent. They swished their blue-scaled tails pail as the summer sky and started to sing, voices harsh and smooth, like waves of pebbles and sway and I stopped worrying about what they were. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all, except how to keep time with their hypnotic chants. I sway like a ship at sea, slow dancing in a daze until the music
stopped. What happened? I wondered. Then I remembered reading somewhere that the songs of sirens were so irresistible it could rob a person of their very soul by drawing them into a fatal stupor. I turned to the trolls. They were in lullaby land, charmed, and bewitched. I luckily was mostly impervious to their enchanted voices, which was probably part of the aftereffect of the magic dust. I stared at the trolls for a moment then wished myself gone.