Do Over Poem

While I was revising the poem, Do Over, I aimed to be clearer and fix some of the disconnection between the stanzas. I made the decision to join the previous stanza 3 and 4 together because the previous line break acts as a transition that separates and disconnects the stanzas. By joining them together there is a better narration and connection on what is going on and I like it better this way now. I also modified some phrasing to be more clear on the allusion to a hour glass in the third stanza. New words such as ‘trickles’, and ‘glass chambers’ help to further explain and convey the reference am trying to make apparent. I don’t know if I succeeded at bringing the image of an hour glass to the mind of the reader, but I do think the image
First I thought I already said all I needed to say and I also didn’t want to change the form, so I didn’t know how to revise the poem. During the revision process I was realized that if I was to add more content to the poem, the form would have to change because I didn’t want the repetition to become overwhelming and boring. So with more content, I decided to play with the form a bit but still maintain some structure and cohesiveness. The beginning and ending of the poem persevered the ideal four lines, repetition and punctuation structure, but I gave the middle part of the poem a little freedom to be different. I think this change goes well with the theme of the poem trying to protect and guide the little child. Furthermore, I reduced the repetition of ‘Hush’ because I though it was no longer needed to be there as much for it to be understood. Also, because the ‘Hush’ was accompanied by an exclamation mark it carries power and strength that I didn’t want to lose by repeating the word ‘hush’ over and over. My biggest challenge was maintaining the simplicity of the poem throughout the revision, but I think I was still able to keep the poem simple thanks to deliberate use of