Dr. Love: Moving Away From My Parents
Psych 412
Penn State
Dr. Love
I first moved out on my own for college freshman year when i was 16 years old. It definitely changed the relationship between my parents because even though we were farther away from each other, somehow it made us closer. I guess its true that distance makes the heart grow fond. I love my parents but they are extremely strict and therefore make it hard to live with them but when i moved out i started to miss them as parents even though i loved my freedom.
Arnett thinks that the heart grows fonder towards parents during absence. He speculates that naturally when you live with someone theres going to be some fighting about chores, household responsibilities and simply different habits and personalities.
Therefore, once you …show more content…
leave home you don’t fight with your parents about these things and you only see them when you choose to see them therefore its much easier to get along with them and focus on the good parts of the relationship rather than the bad parts (i.e. them having control over you). I definitely agree with him because i have personally experienced this exact thing with my parents as well.
Their personalities and mine are completely different. They are extremely traditional and strict while i’m really outgoing and liberal.
The most common reason for emerging adults to leave their home up until the
1970’s was, simply put, marriage. This is different from today because most emerging adults these days move out for purposes such as college or independence, not
marriage. I moved out at the age of 16 which is lower than the lowest average of 18-19!
I moved out from my parents’ house because I had to come to college which is 4 hours away and impossible to commute to.
Some return home because they miss their parents, or after college they need somewhere to stay before they go on to grad school etc. I have returned home for christmas breaks and spring breaks and thanksgiving breaks, but other than that I have only gone home for a day or two to see my parents. I went back home because I missed my parents and wanted home cooked food or if it was a religious holiday and i wanted to spend time with my family. I think moving back in might impact the relationship where it would go back to being the way i twas before where they have complete control
over me and i would resent them for it and start to look at the negatives of the relationship rather than the positives, again.
Arnett states that the key to a successful transition back home is that the parents have to threat the adolescents like adults rather than like teenagers whom they can control. I definitely agree because i feel like the only reason that i wouldn't want to move back home is because my parents treat me like I'm a child. If i had more control over what i wanted to do and my parents would be okay with it or maybe even encouraging, i would definitely want to move back home. I think the other thing that would ease this transition is if the adolescent also tried to look at the parents point of view. I feel as if more often than not, books and blogs and such always try to convince the parents to be more open minded but they never mention anything about how the adolescent should also try to look through the parents eyes. If i was a 50 year old mother with 2 kids who were in college I would also be worried as to what their activities entailed at college.
I definitely think it’s possible to be an emerging adult while still living at home but it would be very hard and i feel as if those adults would not get as many “experiences”, for a lack of a better word, as the typical adolescent that moved out would. Since there is more freedom, i believe this gives you a chance to really find who you are and experience new things and meet new people. If an adolescent stayed at home they wouldn't be able to do those things and they wouldn't be able to experience the world in such an extent that someone who moved out would, which is the whole point of emerging adulthood, to figure out who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life.
Penn State
Dr. Love
I first moved out on my own for college freshman year when i was 16 years old. It definitely changed the relationship between my parents because even though we were farther away from each other, somehow it made us closer. I guess its true that distance makes the heart grow fond. I love my parents but they are extremely strict and therefore make it hard to live with them but when i moved out i started to miss them as parents even though i loved my freedom.
Arnett thinks that the heart grows fonder towards parents during absence. He speculates that naturally when you live with someone theres going to be some fighting about chores, household responsibilities and simply different habits and personalities.
Therefore, once you …show more content…
leave home you don’t fight with your parents about these things and you only see them when you choose to see them therefore its much easier to get along with them and focus on the good parts of the relationship rather than the bad parts (i.e. them having control over you). I definitely agree with him because i have personally experienced this exact thing with my parents as well.
Their personalities and mine are completely different. They are extremely traditional and strict while i’m really outgoing and liberal.
The most common reason for emerging adults to leave their home up until the
1970’s was, simply put, marriage. This is different from today because most emerging adults these days move out for purposes such as college or independence, not
marriage. I moved out at the age of 16 which is lower than the lowest average of 18-19!
I moved out from my parents’ house because I had to come to college which is 4 hours away and impossible to commute to.
Some return home because they miss their parents, or after college they need somewhere to stay before they go on to grad school etc. I have returned home for christmas breaks and spring breaks and thanksgiving breaks, but other than that I have only gone home for a day or two to see my parents. I went back home because I missed my parents and wanted home cooked food or if it was a religious holiday and i wanted to spend time with my family. I think moving back in might impact the relationship where it would go back to being the way i twas before where they have complete control
over me and i would resent them for it and start to look at the negatives of the relationship rather than the positives, again.
Arnett states that the key to a successful transition back home is that the parents have to threat the adolescents like adults rather than like teenagers whom they can control. I definitely agree because i feel like the only reason that i wouldn't want to move back home is because my parents treat me like I'm a child. If i had more control over what i wanted to do and my parents would be okay with it or maybe even encouraging, i would definitely want to move back home. I think the other thing that would ease this transition is if the adolescent also tried to look at the parents point of view. I feel as if more often than not, books and blogs and such always try to convince the parents to be more open minded but they never mention anything about how the adolescent should also try to look through the parents eyes. If i was a 50 year old mother with 2 kids who were in college I would also be worried as to what their activities entailed at college.
I definitely think it’s possible to be an emerging adult while still living at home but it would be very hard and i feel as if those adults would not get as many “experiences”, for a lack of a better word, as the typical adolescent that moved out would. Since there is more freedom, i believe this gives you a chance to really find who you are and experience new things and meet new people. If an adolescent stayed at home they wouldn't be able to do those things and they wouldn't be able to experience the world in such an extent that someone who moved out would, which is the whole point of emerging adulthood, to figure out who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life.