Enviroment
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THE CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
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Contents
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Section:
CURRENT ISSUES: ANALYSIS
Nineteen seventy-four was the first year that more marriages in America were ended by divorce than by death.
This made it a watershed year, for at that point the majority of family change became something we chose to do to ourselves rather thansomething that happened to us.
Today, approximately 45 percent of children bern to married parents are likely to see their parents divorce before they reach the age of18.
Prior to the late 1960s, it was generally believed that a child's need for family security was greater than a parent's need for maritalhappiness. It was thought, therefore, that significant effort should be invested in keeping rocky marriages together "for the sake of thechildren."
But then a psychological revolution emerged that focused on the well-being of the individual rather than the larger social fabric. Thisspawned a new and influential profession of family therapists and child-welfare advocates who believed that a child's greatest need was not stability but parentshappy in their relationships. This would be guaranteed, the therapists said, if parents could move freely out of bad relationships into "better," more fulfilling ones. Onlythen could children have the loving, nurturing parents their fragile development required.
This thinking is seen in psychologist Fritz Perls' mantra of individualism, which became the tacit wedding vow of many couples marrying in the early '70s:
I do my thing, and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
Therefore, divorce shifted from constituting a social ill to virtually being a personal good, a liberating and enriching event for parent and
THE CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
-------------------------------------------------
Contents
Listen
Section:
CURRENT ISSUES: ANALYSIS
Nineteen seventy-four was the first year that more marriages in America were ended by divorce than by death.
This made it a watershed year, for at that point the majority of family change became something we chose to do to ourselves rather thansomething that happened to us.
Today, approximately 45 percent of children bern to married parents are likely to see their parents divorce before they reach the age of18.
Prior to the late 1960s, it was generally believed that a child's need for family security was greater than a parent's need for maritalhappiness. It was thought, therefore, that significant effort should be invested in keeping rocky marriages together "for the sake of thechildren."
But then a psychological revolution emerged that focused on the well-being of the individual rather than the larger social fabric. Thisspawned a new and influential profession of family therapists and child-welfare advocates who believed that a child's greatest need was not stability but parentshappy in their relationships. This would be guaranteed, the therapists said, if parents could move freely out of bad relationships into "better," more fulfilling ones. Onlythen could children have the loving, nurturing parents their fragile development required.
This thinking is seen in psychologist Fritz Perls' mantra of individualism, which became the tacit wedding vow of many couples marrying in the early '70s:
I do my thing, and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
Therefore, divorce shifted from constituting a social ill to virtually being a personal good, a liberating and enriching event for parent and