Ethical Theory: Aristotle's Friendship

Kyle Dee
Ethical Theory
October 29, 2014
Aristotle’s Friendship

In Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle believed there are three different types of friendships; the friendship of utility, the friendship of pleasure, and the friendship of virtue. These are the three different types of friendships why someone might like someone else. Then argue in favor why a good person wants a virtuous friend. The friendship of utility is “those who love each other for utility love the other not in his own right, but insofar as they gain some good for themselves from him” (pg. 121, 1156a 10-12). This type of friendship is built for individuals who become involved with one another for their own personal benefits. A fitting example would be a homeowner and a
milkman; the milkman delivers milk to the homeowner in exchange for money. The milkman needs the homeowner for a job, and the homeowner needs the milkman to deliver milk so he can eat his cereal for breakfast. They both want something from each other. However, there isn’t an actual relationship present, because either one could no longer be useful to at any time. So this friendship of utility is considered weak. As Aristotle described this friendship of utility as “easily dissolved” that it wouldn’t require much effort to break the relationship between the two individuals (pg. 121, 1156a20). The friendship of pleasure is “those who love for pleasure; for they like a witty person not because of his character, but because he is pleasant to them” (1156a12-14). It is a friendship built on the amount of pleasure the two people gain from the relationship. As Aristotle claimed this type of friendship is usually built among the young people, because pleasure and passion influences their lives. This differs from the friendship of utility, as explained above, because the friendship of pleasure is a relationship where someone pursues something in which is pleasant to them presently. As these people are friends for their own sake, since the relationship offers pleasure and gratification. However, the friendship of pleasure is an unstable relationship. For the reason that people can quickly become friends and quickly end the relationship, because what gives them pleasure constantly changes; and why Aristotle considered friendship of utility and pleasure “easily dissolved” (pg. 122, 1156b34-37). The friendship of goodness is Aristotle’s highest form of friendship. This friendship is built on people wanting the best for their friends regardless of pleasure and utility. Aristotle classified the friendship of virtue as “the complete friendship of good people similar in virtue” (pg. 122, 1156b7-9). It’s a lifelong friendship that’s rare to have and doesn’t contain a lot of people; but shares a relationship of mutual respect and has a form of love. According Aristotle’s friendship of virtue it is felt between the good, and that “only good people can be friends to each other because of the other person himself” (pg. 123, 1157a19-21). It is the most magnificent attainment a person can accomplish. Above is Aristotle’s taxonomy of the three types of friendship, but why does a good person want a virtuous friend?
Aristotle considered friendship as a necessity for a successful and fine life. Even if someone were to have the good things in life, that person couldn’t live without friends (pg. 119, 1155a5-6). That goodwill people are not bonded together through the need of utility or pleasure, but through mutual respect and virtue; because friendship of utility is only for a personal gain and friendship of pleasure brings them pleasure but not for the friend’s sake. The connection between these two are based on the fact that they are constantly changing, requiring a personal gain, “easily dissovles”, and neither one leads to a complete friendship. A complete friendship is why a good person wants a virtuous friend, and is explained
below. I have a personal experience with why a person wants a virtuous friend. For the reason that it simply makes life simpler.
Those kind of people are open-minded and can relate to sharing the same principles and goals, so whatever task that is set in front of them can be accomplished. This I can relate to my friends I consider more than a good friend which are more like brothers, because we’ve spend every minute of the each day living and training together to protect that man to our left and our right. When we deployed a mutual love was already built among us as we shared the same mindset, the same values, the same the same pains, the same miseries, and the same sufferings. That prolong duration was what made our relationship strong no matter how terrible the situation got or proceeded. We could always depend on one another for that support without even thinking about it, because that’s how much we loved each other. According to Aristotle we valued loving over being loved and that relationship was based around loving the other person and wanting what was good for them. Our friendship was complete because we were not in it to gain something in the relationship, not because we found each other useful or brought pleasure to each other; but because what we saw in ourselves was what we saw in each other. Our friendship was complete who else in the world would be willing to put their actual life on the line for that person. Who would be brave enough in a rough situation and make the best decisions in the heat of the moment. We considered ourselves equals and it
didn’t matter what ethnicity we were, what religion we had, if we were wealthy or poor, or well-educated. I believe that’s why a good person wants virtuous friends for the fact that the relationship is built on love and that’s why Aristotle valued friendship so much. Aristotle has classified the different types of friendships in Book VIII to describe why a person might like someone because they are useful, they are pleasant, or because they are good; depending on which of these qualities binds people together. However, the best friendship is based on the character in which the friend benefits the friend for the sake of friend. Which is the friendship of virtue and why we want a complete friendship. But, I believe when it all comes down to it people want to enjoy the companionship, the trust, and the compatible of one’s love or good done for the other.

Reference:
Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics Second Edition (Hackett Publishing Co.). 2nd ed. Boston:
Hackett, 2000. Print.