Gender Journal Entry Analysis
Gender Journal Entry Nine
Today I am reflecting on something I used to say to regarding my lack of female friends. I often blamed this on how dramatic women are, and explained I couldn’t handle the emotions on top of my own. I realize now that it was wrong of me to stereotype all women, and use dramatic as a loaded word. As a bi-sexual, who is equally attracted to both figures physically, I also found that this was a common answer when I am asked now about why I didn't settle down with a woman. Now I realize we, as women, are just more comfortable sharing our emotions be it good or bad. I've grown up seeking masculine traits even within relationships of the same gender. I’m trying not to judge myself harshly and use this revelation to learn to explain myself better. I feel the best way to describe myself from now on is I am attracted to females sexually but not feminine traits. I will have to think a little more about this later, maybe with some feedback.
Gender Journal Entry Ten
Since I was a child and able …show more content…
to grasp the concept, I knew I was a bi-sexual. Today I finally decided to reveal to a close friend I had yet to tell. When she asked why I am not open about the fact, it made me look deeper inside myself for the answer. My parents are beyond accepting and raised me open to love with any gender. Finally, I remembered in high school when I first told my boyfriend, and how he laughed and told me I choose a boy so "why did it matter". It's a common theme among those I've chosen to tell, especially recently, considering I've been with my boyfriend seven years. As I explained to her, she could remember hearing that viewpoint about bisexuals throughout life as well. Why do people think bisexuals have to choose a certain gender in the end? Why can't you be attracted to both genders and choose a person based on traits? I have found in life people are more accepting of lesbians and gays! Once my gay friend told me I was just saying that to ease people into me being lesbian. I could see how this prevented me from opening up, for fear of hearing more of this common viewpoint.
Gender Journal Entry Eleven
When I was getting home from work today I felt very stressed about homework as well as the workday I had. The relationship I have with dad usually entails this kind of deep conversation and a level of emotional understanding. My uncle was visiting today and the energy felt very different, from the way my dad was sitting to the tone in his voice. As usual, he asked me how my day was and I began to explain how overwhelmed I was by life today. In the middle of my explanation, he said he sorry that happened and that mom was in the living room. To a point, I understood why he would not be open to hearing about my problems because of our houseguest. I also understand that because of social issues I have when someone asks how your day is it can be just a formality. Overall I just couldn’t shake the feeling that this coldness came from my dad being around another male. My uncle Jesse is my dad’s oldest brother, and being around him in the past I have gathered he is not very good with emotions. I am finding that when my dad is around him he feels pressure to present the masculine side of himself, and in a way mimic my uncle. This echoes what I have learned in class about the pressure men feel to present this masculine side in society.
Gender Journal Entry Twelve
After the experience with my dad and uncle, I have decided to reflect on his entire family. What might make the men in his family, apart from him, this cold way? As a sort of disclaimer, I must mention I do not get along with my dad’s side of my family; I do not attend holidays with them or even interact unless it is necessary. I admit the reasons behind this decision are lengthy, but mainly it is because of beliefs they have surrounding women. From as little as ten years old, I was expected to bring food to the men in the house. Something bothered me about them sitting there on a couch essentially being waited on by the women. I couldn’t put words to this feeling then, but now I realize that I knew it was a patriarchal household. Not only did this affect interaction with dad’s family, but also it impacted his relationships with them when I would speak out. Often my grandpa would tell my dad that he raised my sister and I without respect. Using my knowledge I’ve gained through life and school, I know it was he who did not have respect for me. From forcing me to greet him first when I entered a room, to forcing me to sit on the floor when he wanted my chair, it is no wonder a modern girl like me would distance myself.
Gender Journal Entry Thirteen
I decided to have a discussion with my dad today about why he became a feminist, considering the revelations I have made about his family. Throughout the conversation, dad refers to a women’s group that discussed rights and equality at his workplace for the awakening. The surprising part of the story is that he actually was excluded from the group, and felt for a long time that they disliked men and were not open to sharing. After a couple years he realized that he couldn’t have related to their struggles, and he only understood them later by having daughters. He happily blames living in a household with three girls for his shift in thoughts and ideals. We decided to analyze together what that shift involved and what felt different. For dad he said having to explain his emotions helped more with my mom, sister, and I as teenagers. I used this opportunity to explain emotional literacy, which sparked dad-explaining times he didn’t know words when he was upset, and would just say “GAH”. I don’t think he realizes the benefits he has gained when it comes to being a man and communicating.
Gender Journal Entry Fourteen
Why is my boyfriend uncomfortable with this journal?
I decided that today I would share with him all the amazing things I am learning through this journal and class. I began to share about the epiphany I had regarding my dad’s family, in the hopes maybe he would understand the strained relationship, and gain insight on me. He instantly responded that he did not wish to speak about the topic, or about school with me again. Throughout the past week, I have been realizing that my boyfriend feels such pressure to be masculine at home. I’m realizing how much this contributes to our communication problems, and even to the way we see our futures. I am in school and he left school, maybe that’s why it is a hard subject, and potentially an issue of pride. When you discuss a topic in class it can feel far away, and masculinity was something I felt that way about. Who knew it was impacting me without knowing it, and I look forward to becoming more educated on the
topic.
Gender Journal Themes Compilation
In my gender journal, I determined through reflection my themes included masculinity, LBGT as other (oppressed explaining to oppressor), and rape culture. I explored masculinity by taking a closer look at the men in my life, listening to experiences of others, and examining a patriarchal household. I looked at my identity as a bisexual, the pressure of explaining myself, and the struggles of not quite knowing how. By recording encounters of my own as well as encounters with others I analyzed how rape culture comes in play in the world we live in, our daily lives, and even at my job.
Today I am reflecting on something I used to say to regarding my lack of female friends. I often blamed this on how dramatic women are, and explained I couldn’t handle the emotions on top of my own. I realize now that it was wrong of me to stereotype all women, and use dramatic as a loaded word. As a bi-sexual, who is equally attracted to both figures physically, I also found that this was a common answer when I am asked now about why I didn't settle down with a woman. Now I realize we, as women, are just more comfortable sharing our emotions be it good or bad. I've grown up seeking masculine traits even within relationships of the same gender. I’m trying not to judge myself harshly and use this revelation to learn to explain myself better. I feel the best way to describe myself from now on is I am attracted to females sexually but not feminine traits. I will have to think a little more about this later, maybe with some feedback.
Gender Journal Entry Ten
Since I was a child and able …show more content…
to grasp the concept, I knew I was a bi-sexual. Today I finally decided to reveal to a close friend I had yet to tell. When she asked why I am not open about the fact, it made me look deeper inside myself for the answer. My parents are beyond accepting and raised me open to love with any gender. Finally, I remembered in high school when I first told my boyfriend, and how he laughed and told me I choose a boy so "why did it matter". It's a common theme among those I've chosen to tell, especially recently, considering I've been with my boyfriend seven years. As I explained to her, she could remember hearing that viewpoint about bisexuals throughout life as well. Why do people think bisexuals have to choose a certain gender in the end? Why can't you be attracted to both genders and choose a person based on traits? I have found in life people are more accepting of lesbians and gays! Once my gay friend told me I was just saying that to ease people into me being lesbian. I could see how this prevented me from opening up, for fear of hearing more of this common viewpoint.
Gender Journal Entry Eleven
When I was getting home from work today I felt very stressed about homework as well as the workday I had. The relationship I have with dad usually entails this kind of deep conversation and a level of emotional understanding. My uncle was visiting today and the energy felt very different, from the way my dad was sitting to the tone in his voice. As usual, he asked me how my day was and I began to explain how overwhelmed I was by life today. In the middle of my explanation, he said he sorry that happened and that mom was in the living room. To a point, I understood why he would not be open to hearing about my problems because of our houseguest. I also understand that because of social issues I have when someone asks how your day is it can be just a formality. Overall I just couldn’t shake the feeling that this coldness came from my dad being around another male. My uncle Jesse is my dad’s oldest brother, and being around him in the past I have gathered he is not very good with emotions. I am finding that when my dad is around him he feels pressure to present the masculine side of himself, and in a way mimic my uncle. This echoes what I have learned in class about the pressure men feel to present this masculine side in society.
Gender Journal Entry Twelve
After the experience with my dad and uncle, I have decided to reflect on his entire family. What might make the men in his family, apart from him, this cold way? As a sort of disclaimer, I must mention I do not get along with my dad’s side of my family; I do not attend holidays with them or even interact unless it is necessary. I admit the reasons behind this decision are lengthy, but mainly it is because of beliefs they have surrounding women. From as little as ten years old, I was expected to bring food to the men in the house. Something bothered me about them sitting there on a couch essentially being waited on by the women. I couldn’t put words to this feeling then, but now I realize that I knew it was a patriarchal household. Not only did this affect interaction with dad’s family, but also it impacted his relationships with them when I would speak out. Often my grandpa would tell my dad that he raised my sister and I without respect. Using my knowledge I’ve gained through life and school, I know it was he who did not have respect for me. From forcing me to greet him first when I entered a room, to forcing me to sit on the floor when he wanted my chair, it is no wonder a modern girl like me would distance myself.
Gender Journal Entry Thirteen
I decided to have a discussion with my dad today about why he became a feminist, considering the revelations I have made about his family. Throughout the conversation, dad refers to a women’s group that discussed rights and equality at his workplace for the awakening. The surprising part of the story is that he actually was excluded from the group, and felt for a long time that they disliked men and were not open to sharing. After a couple years he realized that he couldn’t have related to their struggles, and he only understood them later by having daughters. He happily blames living in a household with three girls for his shift in thoughts and ideals. We decided to analyze together what that shift involved and what felt different. For dad he said having to explain his emotions helped more with my mom, sister, and I as teenagers. I used this opportunity to explain emotional literacy, which sparked dad-explaining times he didn’t know words when he was upset, and would just say “GAH”. I don’t think he realizes the benefits he has gained when it comes to being a man and communicating.
Gender Journal Entry Fourteen
Why is my boyfriend uncomfortable with this journal?
I decided that today I would share with him all the amazing things I am learning through this journal and class. I began to share about the epiphany I had regarding my dad’s family, in the hopes maybe he would understand the strained relationship, and gain insight on me. He instantly responded that he did not wish to speak about the topic, or about school with me again. Throughout the past week, I have been realizing that my boyfriend feels such pressure to be masculine at home. I’m realizing how much this contributes to our communication problems, and even to the way we see our futures. I am in school and he left school, maybe that’s why it is a hard subject, and potentially an issue of pride. When you discuss a topic in class it can feel far away, and masculinity was something I felt that way about. Who knew it was impacting me without knowing it, and I look forward to becoming more educated on the
topic.
Gender Journal Themes Compilation
In my gender journal, I determined through reflection my themes included masculinity, LBGT as other (oppressed explaining to oppressor), and rape culture. I explored masculinity by taking a closer look at the men in my life, listening to experiences of others, and examining a patriarchal household. I looked at my identity as a bisexual, the pressure of explaining myself, and the struggles of not quite knowing how. By recording encounters of my own as well as encounters with others I analyzed how rape culture comes in play in the world we live in, our daily lives, and even at my job.