Hi Emilka Character Analysis

Hi Emilka,
Here are my two favorite lines from your story:
“The fantastic, frantic footsteps of my coworkers - young sharply dressed waiters - moving in with empty plates and going out with food, hot and ready, on silver platters to bring to those over privileged elitists whose suits and dresses probably cost more than my rent.”
I like this because it clearly captures the environment of a busy restaurant. It captures the energy really well.
“Nothing really worth paying too much attention to - the phrases just run in circles without really getting anywhere important”
I like how you actually make the character continues the narration, because he is actually not caring. This is a great way of showing instead of telling, because this makes it seems like the character is talking directly to us which is a good way of making the readers connect and sympathize with the fictional characters.
- show not tell”
For this line above, I think it is better for you to show us how he avoids reality and what is reality or what is imaginary in this character’s perspective. Or are you already doing this with the orb? I don’t really know.
“We stand in the middle of the kitchen, interrupting the traffic flow” Again, here I want you to show more than tell because I can imagine powerful descriptions you can write to show