Infidelity Norm

Question #1
a) If monogamy is the norm for most adults in intimate partnerships, then why is there so much extramarital infidelity? Are the two related (monogamy and infidelity)? Please explain your answer.
The article presented the argument that while we perceive monogamy as the norm, there is as many as 83% of populations around our world that accept polygamy as their way of living. The article also makes the argument that one of the reasons that monogamy is so established as the norm is because of its economic roots. It was easier to provide resources within a monogamous relationship to subsequent children. Looking at statistics such as the famous 40-50% of marriages in the United States ending in divorce, monogamy as the norm needs to be
reassessed. True monogamy as the article presented is staying with a single partner for your whole life. Looking at all the individuals that I know, there is an evident dating culture that while it might not be with multiple partners at the same time, it is still more than a single partner. I think individuals are able to build intimate relationships outside of their monogamous relationship. While this is not a concept that is spread as the norm, is does not take away from the reality that attraction to others while in a relationship happens.
Question #2 - Scenario
b) What comes up for you as his therapist? What do you think and feel about his story?
To stay with the client with a non-biased opinion would be hard for me sitting in the room with this client.
It does sound like he is look for a way to help his marriage. While this is a very positive intent, it could easily turn into a situation where an idea is being impose on a partner. I would have to be constantly aware of any messages that I might convey to the client even in a sub-contextual way as I would like for HIM to find his reasons for wanting a polyamorous relationship.
c) What might you do to prepare for his next appointment? (What would you do following his first visit at which he discloses his needs and intentions for therapy?)
I would spend some time exploring his needs in his current relationship. I would like for him to mention what are the positive and the negatives of the current state of his relationship. I would like to find out what he has tried to remedy his feelings of “emptiness” while in his current relationship. I would have to provide space for him to unbox the reasons why he is drawn to “polyamorous” relationships as an idea to bring up to his partner. Overall, I would take the time to let the client settle and make an aware conclusion about his own desires while in a
relationship.
d) Please list 3 ways in which you would help him with his goal of asking his wife for an open relationship?
I would provide with the room for the client to consider the pros and cons of presenting his idea to his wife. I will also try to increase his awareness as to his reasons why he is choosing to present a polyamorous relationship as an idea to provide his wife. I would coach the client in effective communication skills to efficiently communicate his needs to his wife. This will not only help with the issue presented in therapy but also his overall comfort in communicating with his wife. It seems to me that there is a fear in communicating discomfort to his partner.