Intercultural and Intergeneration Communication Within the Chinese American Families

Intercultural and Intergeneration Communication within the Chinese American Families

In recent decades, migration waves have brought to the United States large numbers of Asians and Pacific Islanders (API). Well over two-fifths of all non-amnesty persons admitted in the U.S. in 1991 were API.[i] The trend of increasing API immigration is clear and the API portion in the U S. total immigration steadily grew from the 1972's 28.7 percent to 1985's 44.2 percent. According to the U.S. Census Bureau in 2003, 25% of the Asians are foreign born. APIs were identified as language minorities; by 1989, the number had reached 547,000 (National Center for Education Statistics. 1992) With their drastically different cultural backgrounds, cross-cultural communication is a fundamental issue not only in API family but espeically in the Chinese American families, not to mention inter-generation communication. Chinese American families have distinct communication norms that are significantly different from those of native born Americans and other immigrants.

Most of the Chinese immigrants are from three regions in Asia, China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong. Though they are all ethnically Chinese, some of the cultures and traditions are different in different regions, not to mention that the languages are different. Chinese from Hong Kong use Cantonese as the main dialect whereas China and Taiwan use mainly Mandarin and many local dialects. The written languages are also slightly different between Chinese from Hong Kong and Taiwan to those from mainland China. Historical trend has been that early Chinese immigrants came from pre-Communist China, Taiwan, or Hong Kong and were literate in traditional characters. Over the last two decades, however, Mainland China has become the dominant point of origin for Chinese immigrants. The younger generation of Chinese immigrants received their education in simplified characters. Many of them cannot read traditional characters at all. Those who can read traditional characters are middle-aged or older, or are highly-educated people.[ii]

Historically, under the influence of Chinese Confucianism, Chinese developed complex literate cultures and cohesive family organizations.[iii] Cultural contrasts are, of course, sharpest between Chinese and American mainstream society. For example, Chinese think about social institutions such as school quite differently from American parents. Like middle-class Americans, Chinese highly value formal education and life skills like playing some form of musical instruments. They often consider their children's schooling directly related to the family's integrity: success in academics brings honor and prestige to the family, failure brings shame.[iv] The intense pressure upon children to succeed often generates intergenerational conflicts and psychological difficulties for children. Many Chinese children suffer from test anxiety, social isolation, and impaired self-esteem because of their mediocre school performance.[v] Another source of family tension is the communication barrier between predominantly Chinese speaking parents and predominantly English speaking children.[vi]

Language differences are striking between Chinese and American mainstream society even for persons that are fluent in both languages. For example, translated documents or verbal language presented many identified problems. These include syntactic structure (question vs. statement) problem which Chinese translation lacks consistency in translating the document. Or key words in the English language were mistranslated. The Chinese translation either uses a word that differs in its semantic coverage from the original English word or collapses two concepts into one word. There is also the difference between classical Chinese vs. vernacular Chinese. The written form of a language is always considered more formal than the spoken form. Finally, some concepts are difficult to convey in another language because the target culture may not have that phenomenon or system.2

Another covert cultural dimension is described as high-context versus low-context communication.[vii] Chinese cultures are more high-contextual, which does not require clear, explicit verbal articulation. It relies on presumptions shared by people, non-verbal signals (e.g., body movement), and the very situation in which the interaction occurs. Chinese, used to their high-context communication and, thus, constantly "tuned" to the moods of the other conversants during interaction, expect the others to be similarly sensitive. Westerners, who only pay attention to what is explicitly said, however, often ignore nonverbal cues. In an attempt to reach closure, and hearing no verbal disagreement and not noticing the nonverbal Asians' hesitancy, American professionals may move quickly toward resolution of the matter at hand. Then, when the Asian Americans finally explode in anger because they can no longer tolerate the conflict and are upset that their nonverbal messages were not received, the Westerners are surprised.

In conversations, Asians unconsciously favor verbal hesitancy and ambiguity to avoid giving offense,[viii] and they refrain from making spontaneous or critical remarks. Their body language is characterized by repeated head-nodding and lack of eye contact. The Japanese and Chinese are notoriously unwilling to use the word "no" even when they actually disagree with others.[ix] When Chinese try to translate their norm of sending indirect messages during a discussion into English, a language they have difficulty mastering, their efforts are often misunderstood or ignored.

Misinterpretation of Chinese's verbal and nonverbal expressions occurs because neither Chinese nor non-Chinese are aware of the mismatched hidden dimension in communication. Too often, a discussion proceeds as if everyone is in accord until finally the Chinese is asked--and refuses--to demonstrate approval by signing an agreement.[x]

Chinese Background and Life Experience
Socioeconomic status and immigration history, often related to cultural differences, jointly affect Chinese’s communication and parenting. Moreover, Chinese’s socioeconomic background is as complex as their cultural background. Immigrants from Taiwan, and Hong Kong are more likely to have a middle-class background. Whereas immigrants from China are here mainly because of economic reason (versus Chinese students who come to the U.S. to receive higher education and subsequently stayed in the U.S.). Thus, communicating in English and the western cultural influence among immigrants from Taiwan and Hong Kong often is less of a problem and impact than those from China.[xi]

In addition, Asian Americans born in the U.S. differ from Asian immigrants in their communication with native English speaking Americans, with the latter having more problems. For many Chinese, the family has a dual function: social support and social control.[xii] Among immigrant families, however, these functions sometimes conflict and create tensions. Tradition demands that the young obey the elderly, but in daily life, English literate teenaged Chinese often serve crucial roles such as the English interpreter and participants in family decision-making. Both children and parents have to struggle with this role conflict.

In Chinese culture, communication within the family and the kinship terms used play an special role. In contrast to English kinship terms, the Chinese kinship system is very complicated. The common feature the kinship terms of both English and Chinese possess is that they all share the semantic meanings of generation, sex and certain kinds of relations. For example, English "father" and Chinese "fu qin" are both contrasted with English "mother" and Chinese "mu qin" in the dimension of sex, with "son" and "er zi" in the dimension of generation, with "uncle" and "bo fu," "shu fu," "gu fu," "jiu fu" and "yi fu" in the dimension of linearity. English and Chinese kinship terms differ in two major dimensions: relative age within the same generation in a horizontal relationship and consanguineal vs. affinal relations in both horizontal and vertical relationships. In Chinese, there are no such terms as "brother" and "sister," but two pairs of words in which age is combined with sex: ge ge (elder brother), di di (younger brother), jie jie (elder sister), and mei mei (younger sister).

The kinship terms are important in Chinese culture and communication because Chinese people value the close family relationship and prefer living together with or near their families. Those aged persons would feel proud to have four generations living in the same house, and would consider their children’s presence as the greatest family happiness. Because of this concept of close family ties, Chinese families are usually very large. Since people prefer living with or near their families, family members encounter each other frequently in daily routine; therefore, it is convenient for them to keep those precise kinship terms. Kinship terms also is related to a form of respect. In China, it is a general rule that the younger generation must respect the older generation. Kinship terms such as grandparents, parents, or even elder brother, represent authority and superiority while kinship terms such as son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, or even younger brother and younger sister, suggest inferiority and obedience. Thus the relationship between a father and a son is not simply a kinship term vs. another, but respected vs. respect, order vs. obedience, lord vs. servant.

Chinese Traditions Influence Intercultural Communication
The lack of formal explicitness is shown in behaviour to each other. In U.S. culture, for example, "I love you" is used very frequently, to children by parents, and partners to each other, so much so that one tends to suspect that the expression, like "please", does not mean much any more! Chinese, on the other hand, usually find it quite embarrassing to say "I love you". For Chinese, whether one loves another person is shown by doing things for each other or by hints and little gestures. To say it explicitly sounds not only unnecessary but also fake.[xiii] Chinese also restrain from touching the opposite sex because to do that signals some sexual intention. It is quite normal to touch each other of the same sex, a gesture indicating only friendliness or affection. On the other hand, Americans may touch the opposite sex for fun or very trivial reasons. It is therefore not unusual for a Chinese to mistake a friendly touch from westerner of the opposite sex for a more "deeper" meaning. My daughter and sons who are both born in the U.S. always ask why their father does not tell them that he loves them. First generation Chinese father generally will not display public affection especially if they are from China. However, not display affection or not saying “I love you” does not mean that there are no other forms of expression. His way of expressing love for them is via spending time to play with them and cook for them. This is consistent of a typical Chinese relationships, whether they be social, romantic, familial, or marital relationships, involves people who mutually help and care for one another which establishes good feelings, harmony, and love between them. Rather than expressing love in words, the Chinese express their love through actions of caring and helping another which also affirms and symbolizes relationships.

The ability to communicate using English and/or Chinese language has also been difficult in intergeneration communication. Often time, my English vocabulary is not adequate to communicate or express certain ideas or terms. For example, when I do story telling of Chinese legend or Chinese history to my sons and daughter, I found that I have difficulty in getting the correct terminology or ideas across. Whereas when my children speak English using colloquial or slang that they picked up from their classmates, e.g. couch potato, I may not understand what they are talking.

Cultural differences in how different generations are brought up also create conflicts. For example, in Chinese culture, eating steam rice is better for the body as compared to fry rice as it is less oily and is freshly cook. Traditionally, only poorer family will eat fry rice as the rice is usually day old and signified that the family cannot afford to waste any left over rice. Yet, Chinese children growing up in the United States do not understand that steam rice not only is healthier but also has the hidden meaning of being in a well to do family. They often choose to eat fry rice because it tastes better.

During eating time, Chinese generally do not talk to each other because eating is considered an important event, so conversation is not considered polite. It is out of respect for the elders (e.g. parents) and therefore younger generation is not supposed to talk during dinner. However, for my children who are born in the United States, conversation during dinner not only is an important time to share their stories and experiences during the day with both parents, it is also a necessity as there are no other time during the week that the whole family gets to sit down together.

It is often difficult to explain to my son and daughter why in an American family, all the elders in my generations are all called uncles and auntie, yet when they were asked to speak in Chinese, there are so many different kinship terms that they do not often remember the relationship or meaning of the terms. It is especially difficult when in some American family, the offsprings can call their parents by their first name. It is not only inappropriate in a Chinese family but also denotes dis-respectful and ill-mannered.

Intercultural and inter-generation communication within the Chinese family are difficult and requires adaptation, education, and patience. Yet, as part of the challenge face within the new Chinese immigrants, it also provides an opportunity for the Chinese parents and children to appreciate more of their culture and history. This will only enhanced better understanding of their own culture as well as their newly acquired western culture in the United States.

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[i] Barkan, E. R. (1992). Asian Pacific Islander immigration to the United States. A model of new global patterns. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press.

[ii] Pan, Y, Craig, B, Scollon, S. (2005) Results from Chinese Cognitive Interviews on the Census 2000 Long Form:Language, Literacy, and Cultural Issues. Statistical Research Division, U.S. Bureau of the Census, Washington D.C. 20233

[iii] Trueba, H. T., Cheng, L. L., & Ima, K. (1993) Myth or reality: Adaptive strategies of Asian Americans in California. Washington, DC: Falmer. (ERIC Abstract)

[iv] Lee, A. (1989). A socio-cultural framework for the assessment of Chinese children with special needs. Topics in Language Disorders, 9(3), 38-44.

[v] Shen, W., & Mo, W. (1990). Reaching out to their cultures: Building communication with Asian American families. (ERIC Abstract)

[vi] Power, M. (1990). The acquisition of English and ethnic language attrition: Implications for research. In Russell Endo, Virgie Chattergy, Sally Chou, & Nobuya Tsuchida (Eds.), Contemporary perspectives on Asian and Pacific American Education. South El Monte, CA: Pacific Asia Press.

[vii] Hall, E. T. (1977). Beyond culture. Garden City, NY: Anchor Press.

[viii] Kim, Y. Y. (1985). Intercultural personhood: An integration of Eastern and Western perspectives. In L. A. Samovar & R. E. Porter (Eds.), Intercultural communication: A reader (4th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.

[ix] Wierzbicka, A. (1991). Crosscultural pragmatics: The semantics of human interaction.
New York: Mouton de Gruyter.

[x] Matsuda, M. (1989). Working with Asian parents: Some communication strategies. Topics in Language Disorders, 9(3), 45-53.

[xi] Gao, M.C.F. (2000) Influences of Native Culture and Language on Intercultural Communication: the Case of PRC Student Immigrants in Australia . Journal of Intercultural Communication 4, (http://www.immi.se/intercultural/nr4/gao.htm).

[xii] Trueba, H. T., Cheng, L. L., & Ima, K. (1993) Myth or reality: Adaptive strategies of Asian Americans in California. Washington, DC: Falmer. (ERIC Abstract)

[xiii] Fong, M., Philipsen G.F. (2000) A CHINESE AMERICAN WAY OF SPEAKING: THE PERSUASIVE FUNCTION. Intercultural Communication Studies X(2), 65-84.