Interpersonal Relationships In Organized Religion

Organized religion has often led to a break in the sense of community for a variety of reasons, one of those being size. The size of churches impacts the relationships formed as well as the level of that relationship. Kristin Laurin describes relationships as a “connection or association” furthermore Baumeister and Lear tack on that relationships “involves mutual feelings of affection and intimacy and fulfills needs for belonging and connectedness” (qtd. in Laurin et al 777). Larger groups, as seen in organized religion, do not offer this type of relationship often lacking in intimacy. Even churches are recognizing this as a problem; a recent American theology known as relational theology stresses the “centrality of interpersonal relationships”
or rather teaching members so that they can “better relate to others” by “’healing…interpersonal relationships” (Reid 994). The shift to smaller personal units among believers is evident by this practice of the churches created in order to ensure the continuation of relationships. When interpersonal relations are threatened people become closer to God, when divine rejection is feared interpersonal relationships are often formed.
Basically devotion to God should be considered stronger when communities are smaller because that means there is or has been a struggle with God that brings people closer to God. Research done by Laurin strengthens this argument, she states that relationships with God “function similarly to… relationships with other humans” (777). Larger communities, as seen in organized religion, do not provide the “overlap between people’s divine and interpersonal relationships” that is noticed in this study (Laurin et al 779). There is no constant of struggle, or enrichment in large communities simply because there is neither time nor willingness to form the relationships required. Often there are groups that form within a church like small groups, bible studies, and life groups to make up for this. But even these groups as well as how they operate are recent in terms of church history. Laurin and her colleagues concluded that relationships or “sources of connectedness or belonging may be interchangeable” that is, people have a more relaxed and fluid relationship with God and others, that in return end up strengthening both
(783). “Spirituality” is defined as the “profound union of the individual with God” (Reid 1121). However, according to Zinnbauer and his colleagues, spirituality “was not distinguished from religiousness until the rise of secularism” (550). Secularism is turn was brought on by a “popular disillusionment with religious institutions as a hindrance to personal experiences of the sacred” (qtd. in Zinnbauer et al. 550). Secularism came into existence because people felt hindered and stopped by religious institutions from experiencing God. This led from a branching out away from the church, but still a need to experience and interact with God. Therefore, spirituality was “created” to describe this connection non-church affiliated still maintained with God, a connection that the church refers to as “profound”. Secularism and the disillusionment with the church strengthened the connection people previously had with God, and further solidified the shift in the devotion seen to God. Religiousness “historically include both individual and institutional elements”, while spirituality includes just the individual (Zinnbauer et al. 551). Zinnbauer and his colleagues study looked at how individuals self-identified, either as spiritual or religious. Their study presented statistics that showed out of the twelve groups presented, both faith groups and professional groups, eleven had more members identify as spiritual (Zinnbauer et al. 554-555). The other group were the Roman Catholic, and they came very close having about equal amounts identify as both religious and spiritual (Zinnbauer et al. 554). Based off the report organized religion does not equate devotion to God, or even a stronger devotion to God. Spirituality is being claimed by more and more people, especially since secularism and the decline in popularity of religious institutions. Devotion to God and relationships with God however, are not declining or weakening as made evident by the data. The devotion to God shift is even apparent in media and literature, throughout history. Les Miserables is a movie documenting the events of the French Revolution taking place in 1832. In this time period devotion, praise, worship, anything relating to God was dictated by the church and the authorities of the church. Javert is a prime example of this. As an inspector, Javert is often seen using the bible or the church’s authority to justify his actions. In the song “One day more” there is a phrase in which Javert states “they will wet themselves in blood” (Hooper, Les Miserables). He is referring to going to battle with revolutionaries, and although the bible states “Thou shalt not kill” Javert feels justified because the King and the church stand behind him (King James Version, Exodus 20.13). The church and the institution of religion had complete authority over how people were viewed, Javert was seen as a hero in his day because he was part of the in crowd. Fast forward a few hundred years to 2006, and the view of the church as well as people’s reliance on it has significantly altered. In the movie A Walk to Remember, there is barely a focus on the church. While there is the aspect of Jaime’s father being a reverend, that is the closest readers come to hearing about organized religion. Instead there is a massive amount of focus on Jamie and her relationship with God and Landon. One key moment is when on the bus Landon attempts to make fun of Jamie for carrying around a bible. She responds by saying she “doesn’t care what anyone thinks” of her (Shankman, A Walk to Remember). “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you”, Jamie does not care what others think because she is loved by God and in return pours out love (John 15.12). It is apparent throughout the movie that Jamie has an extremely profound devotion to God that is on display all the time. This correlating with the lack of focus on organized religious groups, subtly hints at the shift that the world is experiencing. Furthermore, the book Blue Like Jazz, especially the main character Don, can be compared to the millennial generation. Although published in 2003 the relatability and parallelism to 2016 is uncanny. The first major point Donald Miller makes is his dislike of religion. He feels that religion often times twists truths in order to fit their goals. For example, he criticizes the use of the bible as children’s stories especially since he believes “the truths of the bible…magic, like messages from heaven… that offered power over life” (Miller, 59). Religion to him takes something powerful and tries to simplify it and therefore it loses its strength. Small intimate communities are also prevalent in Blue Like Jazz, Miller references in the book leaving a church because he does not feel connected and does not know why he is there. He travels to Portland and at the behest of Rick decides to move “in with five other guys” in order to have community, and from there his relationship to and with God begin to improve (Miller 177). Another example of the importance of intimate units, is the belief that God will show were a person belongs.
With big churches or organized religion people become complacent and go just to go, however relationships with God may be significantly weakened or ruined because of the lack of listening done. Miller writes to “pray that God will show you a church filled with people who share your interests and values”, here all the emphasis is placed on God (138). Church will not provide the community needed, trusting in God and allowing Him to lead will. Trusting in the bond and relationship with God and believing that He knows what He wants for an individual will create the needed community, but not necessarily the wanted community. Only then can the connectivity between an individual, God and others
improve. As far back as the 1800’s there has slowly been a shift away from organized religion. Over the past 30 or so years that shift has become more drastic and noticeable. Despite the lack of authority that religious institutions now hold, there has not been a decline in devotion to God. In fact, the exact opposite has occurred. Stronger connections to and with God because of smaller intimate units among believers and personal relationships with God are apparent. Profound spirituality has become more common than religiosity, yet that is not viewed as a negative aspect. It has and continues to strengthen the devotion to God among believers.