Intimate Partner Violence

WHY WON’T SHE JUST LEAVE?
Imagine living a life like this woman. Jane comes home to find a dozen roses on the table. John greets her with so much affection. With one hand around her waist, he fills his other with a fist full of her hair pulling her in an intense kiss. It seems he hasn 't seen her for quite awhile. He holds her passionately close as he whispers in her ear, "I could never live without you." If someone were watching from the window, they would never guess that last night the same two people had an argument about the way she folded his laundry. They probably wouldn 't notice the amount of makeup she used to make the black eye he gave her less noticeable. She can’t help but wonder what happened. What did she do to cause someone
The term most commonly used today for that behavior in domestic relationships is Intimate-Partner Violence. It is defined as: “physical, emotional or sexual abuse perpetrated against a current or former spouse, sexual partner, girl/boyfriend, or by parties with a child in common” (Rhodes 485). There are different levels of IPV, ranging from “situational couple violence” to “intimate terrorism”. Intimate terrorism “is characterized by a sustained pattern of violence based on power and control tactics” while situational couple violence is “defined as lacking the sustained pattern of power and control characterized by intimate terrorism” (Zosky 203). Does it matter what it is called, really? Violence against women is a persistent social problem that has severe negative effects (Enander 200). The solution seems so simple to people watching from the outside: get away from the person who is hurting you! For some reason though, it seems the women who are actually being attacked won’t accept this solution and remain entangled in the abusive relationship. This begs the question, why won’t she leave? According to the Battered Woman’s Shelter of Summit and Medina County’s website, the answer to that question has almost as many answers as abuse
The abuse only begins after the woman is already committed to the relationship. She is very likely to believe him if he tells her it’ll never happen again. In an interview, Katie Buehler stated after the first time her husband got physical she didn’t even think of leaving. He said he wouldn’t do it again, and she took his word. Years later, she can’t even count the number of physical altercations they’ve shared (James). It is often said that love is blind. That statement is evident in these cases. While anyone on the outside who knows the situation can see clearly the man is not going to change, the woman remains hopeful. If she is determined to stay and work things out, she is likely to try just about anything to get him to stop. When asked, Mrs. Buehler listed the different avenues she has tried: therapy (both couple and individual), he was prescribed different anti-depressants & anxiety medications, and he attended violence prevention classes. After everything, he still can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. She then remarked, “If it were just me I would have given up a long time ago, but I have the kids to think about.” She is not alone in feeling that