Investigatory Project
Abbott and Costello – Dyeing Routine
A classic Abbott and Costello routine from their radio show – where Bud Abbott is talking about his Uncle Herman who works in a dye factory, and Lou Costello confuses “dyeing” for “dieing” — with minimal effort, it could be turned into a gospel ministry skit, at the end the clown taking Bud’s part talking about dying, spiritual death and eternal life.
Bud Abbott: You’d better take that suit over to my Uncle Herman’s, At the Kurt Dry Cleaning Plant.
Lou Costello: Dry Cleaning Plant? What’s your Uncle Herman doing there?
Bud Abbott: Well this is Wednesday, He’s dyeing today.
Lou Costello: That’s terrible Abbott, I didn’t even know he was sick.
Bud Abbott: Oh, He isn’t sick, he’s dyeing.
Lou Costello: He’s dying and he isn’t sick?
Bud Abbott: That’s right, if he was sick he couldn’t dye.
Lou Costello: Why not?
Bud Abbott: Well it’s against the rules of the cleaning plant.
Lou Costello: You mean they wouldn’t let him die if he’s sick.
Bud Abbott: That’s right. If a man is sick they wont let him into the place to dye.
Lou Costello: What do they do leave him out in the alley?
Bud Abbott: Oh no no no! He cant dye in the alley.
Lou Costello: He can’t?
Bud Abbott: No, if he wants to dye he has to go up seven floors.
Lou Costello: He’s got to die on the seventh floor?
Bud Abbott: Well certainly.
Lou Costello: Is there any elevator in the place?
Bud Abbott: No.
Lou Costello: The nerve of the people!
Bud Abbott: What do you mean?
Lou Costello: Making a poor man climb seven floors to die! Why don’t they send him home?
Bud Abbott: Because his wife won’t let him dye in the house.
Lou Costello: Wife don’t?
Bud Abbott: She don’t want him dyeing in the house.
Lou Costello: She don’t?
Bud Abbott: No.
Lou Costello: He might as well go crawl under a rock. Imagine a guy can’t even die in his own house.
Bud Abbott: No no, if there’s any dyeing to be done around the house, his wife does it.
Lou Costello:
A classic Abbott and Costello routine from their radio show – where Bud Abbott is talking about his Uncle Herman who works in a dye factory, and Lou Costello confuses “dyeing” for “dieing” — with minimal effort, it could be turned into a gospel ministry skit, at the end the clown taking Bud’s part talking about dying, spiritual death and eternal life.
Bud Abbott: You’d better take that suit over to my Uncle Herman’s, At the Kurt Dry Cleaning Plant.
Lou Costello: Dry Cleaning Plant? What’s your Uncle Herman doing there?
Bud Abbott: Well this is Wednesday, He’s dyeing today.
Lou Costello: That’s terrible Abbott, I didn’t even know he was sick.
Bud Abbott: Oh, He isn’t sick, he’s dyeing.
Lou Costello: He’s dying and he isn’t sick?
Bud Abbott: That’s right, if he was sick he couldn’t dye.
Lou Costello: Why not?
Bud Abbott: Well it’s against the rules of the cleaning plant.
Lou Costello: You mean they wouldn’t let him die if he’s sick.
Bud Abbott: That’s right. If a man is sick they wont let him into the place to dye.
Lou Costello: What do they do leave him out in the alley?
Bud Abbott: Oh no no no! He cant dye in the alley.
Lou Costello: He can’t?
Bud Abbott: No, if he wants to dye he has to go up seven floors.
Lou Costello: He’s got to die on the seventh floor?
Bud Abbott: Well certainly.
Lou Costello: Is there any elevator in the place?
Bud Abbott: No.
Lou Costello: The nerve of the people!
Bud Abbott: What do you mean?
Lou Costello: Making a poor man climb seven floors to die! Why don’t they send him home?
Bud Abbott: Because his wife won’t let him dye in the house.
Lou Costello: Wife don’t?
Bud Abbott: She don’t want him dyeing in the house.
Lou Costello: She don’t?
Bud Abbott: No.
Lou Costello: He might as well go crawl under a rock. Imagine a guy can’t even die in his own house.
Bud Abbott: No no, if there’s any dyeing to be done around the house, his wife does it.
Lou Costello: