Journal Entry from Chillingworth
June 1642
What is it that I haveth seen today upon the scaffold? Could this be thy truth or are my own eyes deceiving me? I have fought grievous mishaps by the sea and by the land just to finally meet with my beloved Hester. After living in captivity under the heathen-folks for about a year or less, mine own eyes are completely drawn to her on the scaffold holding a small babe. My eyes were snatched by the infant only by the scarlet letter burning my once dearest wife’s bosom. It was as if the deep burning red of the letter set off a fiery passion of anger pulsing through my own body from her unfaithfulness. My heart feels as if it hath been ripped from my own chest and tossed on the ground unwanted. My body is fuming with jealousy! My Hester is an adulteress! She hath betrayed me in the most extreme way! How could she have done this to me? Is it my own fault? Didst I cause this myself wedding a wife of such youth and beauty like herself? Who am I to take her into my heart only being a man of knowledge and deformity? Is it so, that I have brought my own misfortune upon me, by bringing in my Hester, one that felt no love for me; While in such youth a real true love is so desirable? So it should be I knew the day we stepped down the church’s steps that it was the scarlet letter I saw in our future together.
I admit I have wronged Hester by wedding her in an unwanted relation. Therefore, I shall hold no vengeance against her. But the man that hath wronged both Hester and me both still walks publicly without a scarlet letter piercing his chest! My heart is torn! So, now this man’s heart must be ripped to pieces! I swear to it, that I will find him. I shall dedicate my life to exposing the root of my own torture! I will search for him as I have searched my life for extensive knowledge. I will become conscious of him! I will search these men until I can finally read it upon his own heart! When I have found him, I shall strive each minute of every day of my
What is it that I haveth seen today upon the scaffold? Could this be thy truth or are my own eyes deceiving me? I have fought grievous mishaps by the sea and by the land just to finally meet with my beloved Hester. After living in captivity under the heathen-folks for about a year or less, mine own eyes are completely drawn to her on the scaffold holding a small babe. My eyes were snatched by the infant only by the scarlet letter burning my once dearest wife’s bosom. It was as if the deep burning red of the letter set off a fiery passion of anger pulsing through my own body from her unfaithfulness. My heart feels as if it hath been ripped from my own chest and tossed on the ground unwanted. My body is fuming with jealousy! My Hester is an adulteress! She hath betrayed me in the most extreme way! How could she have done this to me? Is it my own fault? Didst I cause this myself wedding a wife of such youth and beauty like herself? Who am I to take her into my heart only being a man of knowledge and deformity? Is it so, that I have brought my own misfortune upon me, by bringing in my Hester, one that felt no love for me; While in such youth a real true love is so desirable? So it should be I knew the day we stepped down the church’s steps that it was the scarlet letter I saw in our future together.
I admit I have wronged Hester by wedding her in an unwanted relation. Therefore, I shall hold no vengeance against her. But the man that hath wronged both Hester and me both still walks publicly without a scarlet letter piercing his chest! My heart is torn! So, now this man’s heart must be ripped to pieces! I swear to it, that I will find him. I shall dedicate my life to exposing the root of my own torture! I will search for him as I have searched my life for extensive knowledge. I will become conscious of him! I will search these men until I can finally read it upon his own heart! When I have found him, I shall strive each minute of every day of my