Joy Luck Club Culture
Culture is more than just arts, beliefs and customs espoused by society. It is also intended to establish peace and harmony in a family. In fact, it devises a set of rules for family members to conform with. Unfortunately, it can be a hindrance that strains a family relationship. In Amy Tan’s, Joy Luck Club, the mothers are characterized as the impassive and demanding authoritarians who seldom display their love noticeably towards their daughters. Tan accentuates how the four newly-immigrated mothers constantly clash with their American daughters because they demand unconditional obedience from their daughters. Throughout the novel, Tan demonstrates that the restrictive Chinese culture impedes the development of the American daughters’ individuality,
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and puts a strain on their relationships due to the lack of communication and different family values. Ultimately, the bitter rift estranges them.
The restrictive Chinese culture limits the daughter from voicing their opinions to the mothers. As a result, the daughters seldom communicate to their mothers, which is one of the causes of their strained relationship. According to Dr.K.Lam, the biggest hindrance to effective communication in Chinese culture can be attributed to “face”. He believes that “openly criticizing, challenging, disagreeing with, or denying someone is losing face” (Lam). In Joy Luck Club, Waverly’s mother brags about her daughter’s chess achievements in front of many people. She believes that she also deserves the credit because she cultivates her daughter’s talent, and it is the social norm in Chinese culture to promote success in public. However, Waverly is not comfortable with her mother’s self-promotion when she suggests that “it’s [too] obvious [and] so embarrassing” (Tan 99). She finds her mother’s behaviour deviates from her American culture and identity. Instead of voicing her displeasure, Waverly chooses to keep silent, an indication of suppressing her identity. She is worried that her mother will lose her “face” (pride) if she argues with her mother. When she finally quits playing chess, her mother is offended. Consequently, feuding arises, and they stop communicating with each other. Without expressing their views and listening to their differences, that eventually put a strain on their relationship. Another example of the lack of communication that ultimately leads to a strained relationship is when Waverly invites her mother to visit her house. Despite being in a cozy and nice environment, she struggles to tell her mother the truth that Richard lives with her even though they are not married. This is because the Chinese culture is conservative, and they believe that a couple should not live together until they are legally married. She finally “[gives] up the idea that there would ever be a good time to tell her [mom] the news” (Tan 167). On the other hand, in the American culture, they focus more on freedom and choice. Waverly fails to communicate to her mother because she is afraid that the permission and approval she seeks for will not be granted by her mother since her mother may not be flexible and receptive to American culture. Thus, she decides to give up and does not speak with her mother. However, by not communicating, it puts a strain on the relationship. Furthermore, her identity is undermined because she is restricted by the Chinese culture as she feels pressured to hide her individuality of living with Richard. Without accepting each other’s different culture and having a lack of communication, their relationship is strained. In addition to communication barriers, the opposing family values between the mothers and their daughters also lead to contentious relationship.
Jing-Mei’s mother demands absolute obedience from her daughter. When Jing-Mei objects to practise her piano, her mother chides her daughter that there are “only 2 kinds of daughter [and] only obedient daughter can live in [her] house” (Tan 142). The varying family values are that the mother wants her daughter to obey her with absolute obedience while the daughter believes in freedom and individuality. Thus, the daughters and mothers are in constant disagreement, which ultimately puts a strain on their relationship. To further understand the cause of their tensions as a result of the family values, Li Rui of ChildResearch.net concludes that “a Chinese parent greatly values his solitary child because of the "major investment" and "national resource" the child represents. Consequently, significant amounts of money and high expectations are focused upon the child in hopes that the child will excel in academics and other areas” (Jenkins). The mothers believe that because they have invested so much time and effort to develop their daughters’ potential, they expect their daughters to do their utmost to produce. However, the daughters value more on choice and individuality. Her identity is undermined because she is forced to abide by the Chinese culture. Eventually, constant feuding contributes to hostility and intolerance. Secondly, in the Chinese culture, sacrifice is necessary and expected. Chinese families tend to sacrifice everything for their love ones. Lindo Jong “once sacrificed [her] life to keep [her] parents’ promise [but] to [Waverly], promises mean nothing”. A daughter can be late for dinner “if she has a headache, [or] if she has a traffic jam, [or] if she wants to watch a favorite movie on TV” (Tan 49). The mother believes that promises and family time is the top priority over everything. However living in America
with freedom and choice, Waverly believes that promises can be altered. Consequently, the daughter tries to change, which varies her identity. Conversely, she is not able to change in to what her mother wants of her which is the reason for the strained relationship. Hence, she is not able to become the individual she wants to be.
In conclusion, the American daughters believe that their individuality is undermined and ignored as a result of the restrictive Chinese precepts imposed by the mothers. Accordingly, feuding between them arises due to the lack of communication and the different family values. Furthermore, tensions and clashes culminate in rift and estrangement. In order to mend a distraught relationship, it is imperative that the mothers and daughters should be willing to discuss their differences openly as well as to listen to their concerns respectively. Ultimately, they should strive to respect one another, and make compromises if they want to have a healthy relationship.
and puts a strain on their relationships due to the lack of communication and different family values. Ultimately, the bitter rift estranges them.
The restrictive Chinese culture limits the daughter from voicing their opinions to the mothers. As a result, the daughters seldom communicate to their mothers, which is one of the causes of their strained relationship. According to Dr.K.Lam, the biggest hindrance to effective communication in Chinese culture can be attributed to “face”. He believes that “openly criticizing, challenging, disagreeing with, or denying someone is losing face” (Lam). In Joy Luck Club, Waverly’s mother brags about her daughter’s chess achievements in front of many people. She believes that she also deserves the credit because she cultivates her daughter’s talent, and it is the social norm in Chinese culture to promote success in public. However, Waverly is not comfortable with her mother’s self-promotion when she suggests that “it’s [too] obvious [and] so embarrassing” (Tan 99). She finds her mother’s behaviour deviates from her American culture and identity. Instead of voicing her displeasure, Waverly chooses to keep silent, an indication of suppressing her identity. She is worried that her mother will lose her “face” (pride) if she argues with her mother. When she finally quits playing chess, her mother is offended. Consequently, feuding arises, and they stop communicating with each other. Without expressing their views and listening to their differences, that eventually put a strain on their relationship. Another example of the lack of communication that ultimately leads to a strained relationship is when Waverly invites her mother to visit her house. Despite being in a cozy and nice environment, she struggles to tell her mother the truth that Richard lives with her even though they are not married. This is because the Chinese culture is conservative, and they believe that a couple should not live together until they are legally married. She finally “[gives] up the idea that there would ever be a good time to tell her [mom] the news” (Tan 167). On the other hand, in the American culture, they focus more on freedom and choice. Waverly fails to communicate to her mother because she is afraid that the permission and approval she seeks for will not be granted by her mother since her mother may not be flexible and receptive to American culture. Thus, she decides to give up and does not speak with her mother. However, by not communicating, it puts a strain on the relationship. Furthermore, her identity is undermined because she is restricted by the Chinese culture as she feels pressured to hide her individuality of living with Richard. Without accepting each other’s different culture and having a lack of communication, their relationship is strained. In addition to communication barriers, the opposing family values between the mothers and their daughters also lead to contentious relationship.
Jing-Mei’s mother demands absolute obedience from her daughter. When Jing-Mei objects to practise her piano, her mother chides her daughter that there are “only 2 kinds of daughter [and] only obedient daughter can live in [her] house” (Tan 142). The varying family values are that the mother wants her daughter to obey her with absolute obedience while the daughter believes in freedom and individuality. Thus, the daughters and mothers are in constant disagreement, which ultimately puts a strain on their relationship. To further understand the cause of their tensions as a result of the family values, Li Rui of ChildResearch.net concludes that “a Chinese parent greatly values his solitary child because of the "major investment" and "national resource" the child represents. Consequently, significant amounts of money and high expectations are focused upon the child in hopes that the child will excel in academics and other areas” (Jenkins). The mothers believe that because they have invested so much time and effort to develop their daughters’ potential, they expect their daughters to do their utmost to produce. However, the daughters value more on choice and individuality. Her identity is undermined because she is forced to abide by the Chinese culture. Eventually, constant feuding contributes to hostility and intolerance. Secondly, in the Chinese culture, sacrifice is necessary and expected. Chinese families tend to sacrifice everything for their love ones. Lindo Jong “once sacrificed [her] life to keep [her] parents’ promise [but] to [Waverly], promises mean nothing”. A daughter can be late for dinner “if she has a headache, [or] if she has a traffic jam, [or] if she wants to watch a favorite movie on TV” (Tan 49). The mother believes that promises and family time is the top priority over everything. However living in America
with freedom and choice, Waverly believes that promises can be altered. Consequently, the daughter tries to change, which varies her identity. Conversely, she is not able to change in to what her mother wants of her which is the reason for the strained relationship. Hence, she is not able to become the individual she wants to be.
In conclusion, the American daughters believe that their individuality is undermined and ignored as a result of the restrictive Chinese precepts imposed by the mothers. Accordingly, feuding between them arises due to the lack of communication and the different family values. Furthermore, tensions and clashes culminate in rift and estrangement. In order to mend a distraught relationship, it is imperative that the mothers and daughters should be willing to discuss their differences openly as well as to listen to their concerns respectively. Ultimately, they should strive to respect one another, and make compromises if they want to have a healthy relationship.