Letting Go Monologue

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It’s absolutely terrifying to not know where you’ll end up, isn’t it?
To not know what to do, where to go, who to befriend - it’s scary, it scares me.
I don’t like uncertainty, as a matter of fact - I hate it.
Why would you want to take a journey but not know where you’re going?
You see, the reason why letting go is so scary is because it requires such a tremendous amount of faith because you don’t know that the floor isn’t going to give under your feet; you don’t know that the next step you take could possibly be your last.
The logic of it all is pure madness, really.
It didn’t make sense, it was unstable to me.
So I became someone who never let go, even when I knew it was wrong, even when my fingers would ache, my skin would turn red and it would give me all sorts of horrible blisters,
I thought that if I lost something - or someone, that a part of me would go with them; that with everything and everyone I lost and let go of,
I too would slowly become a lesser version of myself.
But you see life is an act of faith and act of gambling, and the game can’t begin if you don’t start playing.
So I placed my bets and I lay out my cards, because where’s the fun in just watching?
It’s easy to stay stagnant, to not welcome change, to live a mundane life, to play it safe, but if you never try, then you’ll never know.
You need to experience things to grow from them,
You’ll need to make mistakes to learn from them.
How completely absurd isn’t it?
The only way we can grow is to make mistakes, but then again, the logic of it all is pure madness.
So I let