Hello and thank you all for coming. Today we are gathered to mourn the loss of a spectacular individual who stood next to me through the thick and thin, through the good and bad, and has left my heart with a crater big enough to engulf the world, Mrs. Mallard. She was a faithful and devout woman whom I am proud to call my wife. We spent many years together, during which I always tried to make her happy. Yet recently all the memories of her and I have come flooding back to me in tidal waves of emotions, and after consideration I feel I have not done enough. I did not cherish every second of every minute of every hour I was with her and it devastates me at this time, but that’s how it always goes I suppose. But not for her. Mrs. Mallard ensured my life was as simplistic and easy going as she could. Whether it was her loving support, physical labors, or the smiles she would give me which could outshine the moon. She would always know what I needed and would move mountains to make sure I had it. Her affection was so strong that it ultimately caused her passing. After being told I had perished in a mining incident she become so distressed that her heart could not handle the news that I was still alive. She had always had complications with that immense heart of hers, it was her Achilles heel. The one thing which chained her from ascending to the perfect woman, the one trade off which god decided he needed to bestow upon her so she would not take the role of a demi-god. However I know now that she is the most eloquent and beautiful angel heaven has ever seen and they will treasure her in ways I never could. This is the only fact which has kept me sane through this abysmal time. Everyone will now be able to pay their individual respects to Mrs. Mallard, and once again thank you for coming.…
