Military Divorce Rate
Military Divorce Rates and the Age Blended Families Your Name Please
Park University
Military Divorce Rates and the Age Blended Families
Military Divorce rate In American society, the divorce rate is high as compared to other developed countries of the world. In 2001, before the start of Afghanistan war, the military divorce rate was just 2.5%. Today, this rate jumped to 3.9%, a significant change. The risk of divorce is limited to men, but women are also at the higher risk (Harper, 2011). Among all the military professions, the divorce rate in Air Force is highest. Roughly, 1 out of 27 couples ended in divorce. The family member of military personals are enjoying medical, insurance and housing facilities, but divorce …show more content…
rate is still showing increasing trend. These facilities are unique and common citizens cannot avail them. Only elite class can afford them against handsome amount.
Long Period Of deployment Among many causes, long deployment is the chief cause of divorce in the military personals (Karney & Crown, 2011). They are serving overseas for as many as five to eight years. When they are on the ground, their family members particularly wives irritate. The reason is that their social life is ended, sexual needs are not fulfilled and they are not getting emotional attachment. These all things are the needs of human being and give them a sense of security. There is no any denying the fact that every female wants to have a life partner who should be with him. It will not only fulfill her psychological but also physiological needs. The availability of husband in the home also reduces the responsibility. He will care about the children, go with them on outings and enjoy summer and winter trips. In this way, every member of family remains mentally fit and show progress in its respective profession.
Job stress There is extensive research which shows that military men are facing much psychological disorder. The most of them is the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This kind of disorder aroused when they are facing any deadly incident and it create a bad picture in their minds
(McNally & Frueh, 2013). In addition, they have also constant fear of death or injury which also creates stress. In 2009, some 1225 soldiers had received medical leave because of mental illness. In the same way, many soldiers are facing physical disabilities. Comparatively, physical injuries are easy to treat as compared to mental illness. The common symptoms of stress are the eating disorder, sleeping disorder, loneliness, underestimation, suffered nightmare, vomiting and so on. Many military men are also attempting suicide to get rid of these difficulties. They are not able to face these hardships on regular basis. However, survivals are leading unstable lives and end their families by divorcing. They have no interest in the future of children and responsibilities which a father and husband bears.
Young Couples and Sex Culture in military Young couples who have married in recent and have not enjoyed even the honeymoon period, are more at the risk of divorce. Their wives are still young and have no children. In this state, they are acceptable to many men and get good proposals. They believe living with partner is primary and all other things are secondary. Most of the women take this step when they are analyzing in the society that their fellows have a good life. Military women are also facing this situation because earning males have good opportunities to start affairs with women. It is also learned that there is “Sex Culture” in military. According to this, women are encouraged and sometimes compelled to have sex with male colleagues (Turchik & Wilson, 2010). Particularly, this is common in foreign operation where sexual desires of males are fulfilled through this culture. Their brains are washed that males are fighting for the cause of country. It is their responsibility to provide them everything which is their need including sexual intercourses. Those women who do not practice the Sex Culture are not sent in foreign operation and remain away from many facilities. When husband of military women learn this, they have negative attitude towards their wives and end relation with divorce. How to decrease the divorce rate Military life is disciplined and all the orders have to accept in order to remain safe from facing any legal challenge. When there is call for the deployment, there is no but to accept unless there is genuine case. There should be decrease in the time period. It will give them opportunity to live with their family members. It will bring happiness in the lives of family members and also contribute in the welfare of society. Otherwise, there would be more divorce rate which is not in the larger interest of couple, members of family and society. It is also learned when there is divorce and children are living with one parent or blended family, there is negative impact on the psychological development of children. Their normal growth is affected and showing poor results in education, recreational activities and other walks of life. In military, psychiatrists are regularly checking the mental health of soldiers. There should be a program which also checks the family member of military men. In this program, the sense of patriotism and peaceful mind should be developed through counseling sessions. There are chances that if family members will support military men, they will be encouraged. It is also reported that the performance of military men is badly affected when they are divorced. It not only affects single personal but also down the moral of whole unit. It takes number of months for them to lead a normal life and show satisfactory performance in the service.
Introduction to Blended Family The current structure of our society suggests that about 50% of all American have step-relationship in direct or indirect form. The term blended family is also interchangeably used with stepfamily. These families are formed in the result of divorce or death of any spouse. Usually, in this relationship a new spousal comes either alone or with child/children (Sundström, 2013). This situation requires integration of members from the both sides which is most difficult stage for the blended family. In majority of cases, there is misunderstanding in the very first two weeks of blended family. They do not trust, understand, care and respect for one another. However, they live together in the hope problems will be solved and a peaceful life will exist. It remains only a dream and there is barrage of problems on daily basis. Slowly and gradually these things move relations towards the divorce.
Subsystems in a blended family Biological parent-child subsystem In this relationship, child is living with at least one parent. In a blended family, they are living along with other stepfamily members. This subsystem enjoys the shared values, shared rituals and shared meanings. Comparatively, they have closeness in the blended family which causes resentment to other new spouse (Dupuis, 2010). New spouse feels less importance and respect. Most of the times, new spouse also complains that his/her children are not treated equally and their needs are not fulfilled in the proper way. This state of frustration and stress lead couple to live separately. Most of the women sacrifice their second husbands in favor of her children. However, some women find alternative and send their children out of home. In this regard, the most common places are the hostels or arranging a separate setup.
Non biological stepparent-stepchild subsystem This relationship is considered to be survival factor for the blended family. Research shows that if this relationship is happy then there are no any fights or divorces in the blended family. According to the philosophy of blended family, any one spouse would live with stepchild. Hence this relationship is natural in blended family. If spouse has its own children as well then the gravity of problem would be more. It is very difficult for him to purchase same things for all children and show equal attitude towards them. In addition, stepchildren are also treating them as a parent. They have low degree of respect for them and give them less respect at many important events of life. Resultantly, there is war of tug between them which disturb the relationship of spouses. This system also disturbs the whole family. Biological mother will sometime take the side of children and sometimes new spouse. Both situations are creating problem for her and most of the times she indecisive. The parental or ex-spousal subsystem When there is divorce between the couple, there are many undecided things which are solved at later stage of life. They may be the possession of children, financial matters, mortgages and other legal issues. Sometimes, it is their legal requirement to come by face and decide the matters which are of mutual interest e.g. children. In addition, sometimes couple gets divorce, because of familial and societal concerns. It means they are compelled to divorce. Moreover, many divorce cases are the result of taking decision without considering its consequences. Spouses do not know what will happen after the separation. If they are financially strong then survive. Otherwise they face a series of problems and cry over the decision of separation. They realize their mistake and again wish to remain with the previous. However, all in these cases there is an element of love and affection in between them. On the other hand these things are highly disliked for the new spouse. They do not like the meetings or taking side of ex-spouse at any occasion. This behavior is not liked by the new spouse. It also creates problem in the relations and they move towards separation.
Incomplete Institution When a first occurs, couple enjoys “Honey Moon” time until the birth of first child.
So, couple has sufficient time to accommodate and understand each other likes and dislikes. There is a set of rules which guide each member to live accordingly. In the same way, child also learns all these rules and internalizes them. On the contrary, in a blended family spouse (s) have already child/ children. In this way, they have not honey moon time which they are enjoying in the first marriage. There is lack of understanding. For children, there is also difficulty to understand stepsiblings and stepparent. In this grim situation, rivalries are common among the family members. Unlike rivalries in biological family, these rivalries end in unwanted results which are the basic ingredients of divorce in a blended family. Furthermore, our society is also not supporting these kinds of families. People are creating problem by telling fairy tales to the stepchildren about the evils of stepparent and vice versa. While telling, they have not these sense that it will create problem for them in the …show more content…
family.
Family Counseling In this modern time period, the scope and importance of family counseling is increasing day by day.
Family counselors are professional psychologists who resolve the family problems by conducting family sessions. In order to solve the blended family problems, there is need of counseling. The therapy could be of various kinds depending upon the severity of problem and type of family. It will integrate the family and create the feeling of oneness. In addition, spouses have already knowledge about the family structure of each side. They should decide all matter and conduct premarital counseling therapy. The purpose of this therapy is to generate feelings of one family in both families (Erdman & Caffery 2013). It is productive and useful especially when children are adult. In this way, there could be decrease in the divorce rate of blended
families.
References
Dupuis, S. (2010). Examining the blended family: The application of systems theory toward an understanding of the blended family system. Journal of couple & relationship therapy, 9(3), 239-251. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15332691.2010.491784
Erdman, P., & Caffery, T. (Eds.). (2013). Attachment and family systems: Conceptual, empirical and therapeutic relatedness. Routledge. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/books?id=LWdA41YO-_QC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Harper, J. (2011). Understanding Divorce in the Military. Retrieved from http://www.military.com/money/retirement/military-retirement/understanding-divorce-in-the-military.html
Karney, B. R., & Crown, J. S. (2011). Does deployment keep military marriages together or break them apart? Evidence from Afghanistan and Iraq. In Risk and resilience in US military families (pp. 23-45). Springer New York. Retrieved from http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4419-7064-0_2
McNally, R. J., & Frueh, B. C. (2013). Why are Iraq and Afghanistan War veterans seeking PTSD disability compensation at unprecedented rates?. Journal of anxiety disorders. Retrieved from www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0887618513001345
Sundström, M. (2013). Growing up in a blended family or a stepfamily: What is theimpact on education?. Retrieved from http://www.diva-portal.org/smash/record.jsf?pid=diva2:621488
Turchik, J. A., & Wilson, S. M. (2010). Sexual assault in the US military: A review of the literature and recommendations for the future. Aggression and violent behavior, 15(4), 267-277. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1359178910000145
Park University
Military Divorce Rates and the Age Blended Families
Military Divorce rate In American society, the divorce rate is high as compared to other developed countries of the world. In 2001, before the start of Afghanistan war, the military divorce rate was just 2.5%. Today, this rate jumped to 3.9%, a significant change. The risk of divorce is limited to men, but women are also at the higher risk (Harper, 2011). Among all the military professions, the divorce rate in Air Force is highest. Roughly, 1 out of 27 couples ended in divorce. The family member of military personals are enjoying medical, insurance and housing facilities, but divorce …show more content…
rate is still showing increasing trend. These facilities are unique and common citizens cannot avail them. Only elite class can afford them against handsome amount.
Long Period Of deployment Among many causes, long deployment is the chief cause of divorce in the military personals (Karney & Crown, 2011). They are serving overseas for as many as five to eight years. When they are on the ground, their family members particularly wives irritate. The reason is that their social life is ended, sexual needs are not fulfilled and they are not getting emotional attachment. These all things are the needs of human being and give them a sense of security. There is no any denying the fact that every female wants to have a life partner who should be with him. It will not only fulfill her psychological but also physiological needs. The availability of husband in the home also reduces the responsibility. He will care about the children, go with them on outings and enjoy summer and winter trips. In this way, every member of family remains mentally fit and show progress in its respective profession.
Job stress There is extensive research which shows that military men are facing much psychological disorder. The most of them is the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This kind of disorder aroused when they are facing any deadly incident and it create a bad picture in their minds
(McNally & Frueh, 2013). In addition, they have also constant fear of death or injury which also creates stress. In 2009, some 1225 soldiers had received medical leave because of mental illness. In the same way, many soldiers are facing physical disabilities. Comparatively, physical injuries are easy to treat as compared to mental illness. The common symptoms of stress are the eating disorder, sleeping disorder, loneliness, underestimation, suffered nightmare, vomiting and so on. Many military men are also attempting suicide to get rid of these difficulties. They are not able to face these hardships on regular basis. However, survivals are leading unstable lives and end their families by divorcing. They have no interest in the future of children and responsibilities which a father and husband bears.
Young Couples and Sex Culture in military Young couples who have married in recent and have not enjoyed even the honeymoon period, are more at the risk of divorce. Their wives are still young and have no children. In this state, they are acceptable to many men and get good proposals. They believe living with partner is primary and all other things are secondary. Most of the women take this step when they are analyzing in the society that their fellows have a good life. Military women are also facing this situation because earning males have good opportunities to start affairs with women. It is also learned that there is “Sex Culture” in military. According to this, women are encouraged and sometimes compelled to have sex with male colleagues (Turchik & Wilson, 2010). Particularly, this is common in foreign operation where sexual desires of males are fulfilled through this culture. Their brains are washed that males are fighting for the cause of country. It is their responsibility to provide them everything which is their need including sexual intercourses. Those women who do not practice the Sex Culture are not sent in foreign operation and remain away from many facilities. When husband of military women learn this, they have negative attitude towards their wives and end relation with divorce. How to decrease the divorce rate Military life is disciplined and all the orders have to accept in order to remain safe from facing any legal challenge. When there is call for the deployment, there is no but to accept unless there is genuine case. There should be decrease in the time period. It will give them opportunity to live with their family members. It will bring happiness in the lives of family members and also contribute in the welfare of society. Otherwise, there would be more divorce rate which is not in the larger interest of couple, members of family and society. It is also learned when there is divorce and children are living with one parent or blended family, there is negative impact on the psychological development of children. Their normal growth is affected and showing poor results in education, recreational activities and other walks of life. In military, psychiatrists are regularly checking the mental health of soldiers. There should be a program which also checks the family member of military men. In this program, the sense of patriotism and peaceful mind should be developed through counseling sessions. There are chances that if family members will support military men, they will be encouraged. It is also reported that the performance of military men is badly affected when they are divorced. It not only affects single personal but also down the moral of whole unit. It takes number of months for them to lead a normal life and show satisfactory performance in the service.
Introduction to Blended Family The current structure of our society suggests that about 50% of all American have step-relationship in direct or indirect form. The term blended family is also interchangeably used with stepfamily. These families are formed in the result of divorce or death of any spouse. Usually, in this relationship a new spousal comes either alone or with child/children (Sundström, 2013). This situation requires integration of members from the both sides which is most difficult stage for the blended family. In majority of cases, there is misunderstanding in the very first two weeks of blended family. They do not trust, understand, care and respect for one another. However, they live together in the hope problems will be solved and a peaceful life will exist. It remains only a dream and there is barrage of problems on daily basis. Slowly and gradually these things move relations towards the divorce.
Subsystems in a blended family Biological parent-child subsystem In this relationship, child is living with at least one parent. In a blended family, they are living along with other stepfamily members. This subsystem enjoys the shared values, shared rituals and shared meanings. Comparatively, they have closeness in the blended family which causes resentment to other new spouse (Dupuis, 2010). New spouse feels less importance and respect. Most of the times, new spouse also complains that his/her children are not treated equally and their needs are not fulfilled in the proper way. This state of frustration and stress lead couple to live separately. Most of the women sacrifice their second husbands in favor of her children. However, some women find alternative and send their children out of home. In this regard, the most common places are the hostels or arranging a separate setup.
Non biological stepparent-stepchild subsystem This relationship is considered to be survival factor for the blended family. Research shows that if this relationship is happy then there are no any fights or divorces in the blended family. According to the philosophy of blended family, any one spouse would live with stepchild. Hence this relationship is natural in blended family. If spouse has its own children as well then the gravity of problem would be more. It is very difficult for him to purchase same things for all children and show equal attitude towards them. In addition, stepchildren are also treating them as a parent. They have low degree of respect for them and give them less respect at many important events of life. Resultantly, there is war of tug between them which disturb the relationship of spouses. This system also disturbs the whole family. Biological mother will sometime take the side of children and sometimes new spouse. Both situations are creating problem for her and most of the times she indecisive. The parental or ex-spousal subsystem When there is divorce between the couple, there are many undecided things which are solved at later stage of life. They may be the possession of children, financial matters, mortgages and other legal issues. Sometimes, it is their legal requirement to come by face and decide the matters which are of mutual interest e.g. children. In addition, sometimes couple gets divorce, because of familial and societal concerns. It means they are compelled to divorce. Moreover, many divorce cases are the result of taking decision without considering its consequences. Spouses do not know what will happen after the separation. If they are financially strong then survive. Otherwise they face a series of problems and cry over the decision of separation. They realize their mistake and again wish to remain with the previous. However, all in these cases there is an element of love and affection in between them. On the other hand these things are highly disliked for the new spouse. They do not like the meetings or taking side of ex-spouse at any occasion. This behavior is not liked by the new spouse. It also creates problem in the relations and they move towards separation.
Incomplete Institution When a first occurs, couple enjoys “Honey Moon” time until the birth of first child.
So, couple has sufficient time to accommodate and understand each other likes and dislikes. There is a set of rules which guide each member to live accordingly. In the same way, child also learns all these rules and internalizes them. On the contrary, in a blended family spouse (s) have already child/ children. In this way, they have not honey moon time which they are enjoying in the first marriage. There is lack of understanding. For children, there is also difficulty to understand stepsiblings and stepparent. In this grim situation, rivalries are common among the family members. Unlike rivalries in biological family, these rivalries end in unwanted results which are the basic ingredients of divorce in a blended family. Furthermore, our society is also not supporting these kinds of families. People are creating problem by telling fairy tales to the stepchildren about the evils of stepparent and vice versa. While telling, they have not these sense that it will create problem for them in the …show more content…
family.
Family Counseling In this modern time period, the scope and importance of family counseling is increasing day by day.
Family counselors are professional psychologists who resolve the family problems by conducting family sessions. In order to solve the blended family problems, there is need of counseling. The therapy could be of various kinds depending upon the severity of problem and type of family. It will integrate the family and create the feeling of oneness. In addition, spouses have already knowledge about the family structure of each side. They should decide all matter and conduct premarital counseling therapy. The purpose of this therapy is to generate feelings of one family in both families (Erdman & Caffery 2013). It is productive and useful especially when children are adult. In this way, there could be decrease in the divorce rate of blended
families.
References
Dupuis, S. (2010). Examining the blended family: The application of systems theory toward an understanding of the blended family system. Journal of couple & relationship therapy, 9(3), 239-251. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15332691.2010.491784
Erdman, P., & Caffery, T. (Eds.). (2013). Attachment and family systems: Conceptual, empirical and therapeutic relatedness. Routledge. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/books?id=LWdA41YO-_QC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Harper, J. (2011). Understanding Divorce in the Military. Retrieved from http://www.military.com/money/retirement/military-retirement/understanding-divorce-in-the-military.html
Karney, B. R., & Crown, J. S. (2011). Does deployment keep military marriages together or break them apart? Evidence from Afghanistan and Iraq. In Risk and resilience in US military families (pp. 23-45). Springer New York. Retrieved from http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4419-7064-0_2
McNally, R. J., & Frueh, B. C. (2013). Why are Iraq and Afghanistan War veterans seeking PTSD disability compensation at unprecedented rates?. Journal of anxiety disorders. Retrieved from www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0887618513001345
Sundström, M. (2013). Growing up in a blended family or a stepfamily: What is theimpact on education?. Retrieved from http://www.diva-portal.org/smash/record.jsf?pid=diva2:621488
Turchik, J. A., & Wilson, S. M. (2010). Sexual assault in the US military: A review of the literature and recommendations for the future. Aggression and violent behavior, 15(4), 267-277. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1359178910000145