Mindful Listening

There is an art to listening; and as Julia Wood states about listening, “We try to understand not just content but also the person speaking” (Wood 166). In essence, the goal of listening is to gasp the message, meaning and feelings of the person talking. Therefore, there are listening behaviors and listening styles that can either enhance or impede this process and flow of communication. To this point, observations have been made of two separate conversations in which listening behaviors and styles were seen as a lesson in what type of behaviors and styles are helpful and which are not. Frist of all, a conversation took place on Halloween in which two men were discussing their latest hunting escapades. The setting was in a home, where several families had gathered for the festivities. Little children were running around, music was playing, the World Series was on the television and multiple conversations were taking place around the living room. The two men sat side by side, yet turned their heads to face on another whenever they spoke. This points out the benefits of attentive postures in listening (Wood 167). What is more, as one man said, “It was the biggest black tail I had seen in years,” the other man asked him to elaborate about other deer he had seen in the past. In addition, there was a bit of “paraphrasing” in the conversation as one would restate what the
other had just said. As Wood points out, “Paraphrasing is a method of clarifying others’ meaning or needs by reflecting our interpretations of their communication back to them” (Wood 180). Conversely, because of the chaos in the room, there was a bit of pseudolistening where one would appear to be listening, but was actually watching the game on the television (Wood 173). This is a negative in the conversation, because the listener is not able to connect with the speaker. All in all, the conversation was an excellent conversation between friends in which mindfulness was observed as the two shared stories of recent hunting trips. It was obvious of their connection and ability to understand one another, even in a house full of noise and distractions. The second observation made was between two men work on a home. Clearly, they had a task to be completed and communication between the two of them was important so that the job would be completed correctly and without damage. In essence their conversations was high jacked a bit by literal listening, “which involves listening only for content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning” (Wood 176). There were several times in which one man did not listen to other completely which created confusion and frustration between the two and missed steps. However, as their job progressed, they certainly became more mindful in their listening so that they were on the same page. Perhaps the listening style of paraphrase would have aided their communication. Furthermore, there was a moment of conversation in which one man was criticizing the other for the way he was doing his job. He said, “I thought you told me there was a filter in there and there is not!” This was indeed due to selective listening rather than practicing what Wood would say, in asking the “speaker to clarify or elaborate” in order to help the other “understand information” (Wood 178). Overall, this observation was made between to co-workers, which carries a different aspect in relationship, yet proved that mindful listening is very important in every situation. All in all, the importance of mindful listening was clearly observed in two separate conversation between people and highlighted the listening behaviors and styles each person.
Through paraphrasing and attentive postures people can understand one another better. However, pseudolistening and literal listening impede many people in being able to understand the deeper meanings of what is being communicated. Therefore, mindfulness is ever important in a world of misunderstanding and miscommunications. However, focus and intention can remedy many people’s ability to create deeper relationships with
others.