Monologue For Matavis
Hello! I am Matavis’ sister, Sara. Matavis doesn’t know that I’m contacting you, but I just wanted to say hello and tell you a little bit about your nephew…Let me start by saying how happy and thankful I am that you and Matavis were able to find each other. I think now, more than ever, Matavis needs this. You guys are the missing piece that makes him whole and I couldn’t be happier that he was finally able to connect with you. Our whole family has always kept a special place in our heart for your family and we always will, after all we are all one family united in the love of an amazing young man.
I have always had a special bond with Matavis, my little peanut. Even though he’s a heck of a lot taller than me and an incredible young man-not …show more content…
a little boy anymore, he’s still my little peanut and he always will be. Of course, I’m not the only one who adores him-our whole family does. In fact, just about anyone that meets him can’t help but notice what a very special person he is. To know Matavis is to love Matavis. He’s got so much heart. He’s so kind, caring and compassionate. He is the deepest thinker and has a brilliant mind.
Matavis can be very shy sometimes, but it doesn’t take too long for him to open up.
At the same time Matavis can be very outgoing. Many times, he and I have been out at a store or something and I’ll find him talking to someone and I’ll ask him who that is or how he knows them and he’ll tell me that he doesn’t know them, he was just asking them something or telling them he likes their tattoos or shoes or something. He’s also been known to hug random ‘grandmas’ just because they looked like they needed a hug. See what I mean? He’s a …show more content…
sweetheart.
Of course I’m biased but I think Matavis is such a handsome guy! Those eyes and eyelashes and that smile? Come on! He is a heartbreaker for sure! He’s always been adorable. If you want pictures of Matavis through the years I’ve got you covered! I have so very many pics of him from when he was a little baby all the way to today. That boy is so photogenic I don’t think there’s a bad picture of him at all. He’s always been too cute! It’s amazing how much he looks like his mom. They both have that beautiful, contagious smile that just makes their whole face glow and you can’t help but smile when you see theirs.
I was only able to meet your sister a couple times, but in those few short meetings it was easy to see that she was a kind, loving, caring, bright woman with so much heart. When we learned what happened to her we were devastated. Our hearts broke not only for Matavis, but for your whole family and for the world – the world lost a wonderful woman. Everytime the news would show a picture of Ouithreaun my family would be in tears. We consulted with several psychologists and psychiatrists and other experts to determine when and how would be the appropriate time to tell Matavis what had happened to his mom.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get the chance to tell him the way we wanted to.
Apparently one of my younger siblings who is also adopted was researching her mom and extended family on the internet and for some reason looked up Matavis’ mom and learned what had happened to her. She didn’t come right out and tell Matavis everything, but hinted at enough that it was bothering Matavis and understandably he wanted answers. Things got very serious around Christmas 2016 when he sat my mom down and told her what he knew and asked her to tell him what happened and if she didn’t he was going to look it up on the internet. So not wanting him to find out through the internet, she and I sat down with Matavis and told him what happened to his mom. I can’t put into words how much it hurt to have to tell him that he wouldn’t be able to be reunited with his mom someday, because she was in heaven. Her life was taken by a monster. I could see Matavis’ heart breaking. He cried (which he very rarely does) and expressed his hatred and anger for Ellis. All we could do is answer his questions the best we could, hug him, comfort him and be there for him.
Throughout the years we had told Matavis everything we knew about his mom and how much she loved him but there was only so much that we knew, which is why we are all so thrilled that through you and your family he can learn so much more about her and get to know all of you as
well.
Learning about what happened to his mom has had quite an impact on Matavis, of course. For the last 3-4 years we’ve had a support team for Matavis (and my other 3 siblings who were adopted) to help with things that we couldn’t because we had never been in that situation-like dealing with being adopted, being black and being adopted into a white family, etc. and some anger issues because we wanted him to have everything he needed, every tool he needed to be happy and successful in his life. With all this help in place, it’s still been a pretty rough year-year and a half for Matavis. He had issues at school, mainly fighting – which typically involved sticking up for his family and friends or defending himself when he felt disrespected. Honestly, most kids who have had as many run-ins as he had would’ve been expelled, however, the teachers, faculty and administrators got to know Matavis and could see what a good kid he is and understood that he was dealing with a lot that most of us couldn’t imagine dealing with especially at his age, so they worked with him. They made special arrangements and accommodated him in every way possible so that he could succeed and he sure did. He graduated last week – early! He has made lasting relationships with many teachers, faculty and school district administrators-even the superintendent! They are working on putting together a little graduation celebration at the district office for Matavis. I’ll let you know when it is as soon as we know. They’ve also asked Matavis to please keep in touch with them as they too, have grown to love and care for him so much!
Matavis has got unlimited potential. The only thing standing in his way right now is himself. The last year and a half Matavis has taken up smoking weed. If this was a now and then type of thing, I wouldn’t be so concerned. However, he has started to smoke every single day, several times a day. This has made him become very moody, his temper has become very short and he’s just not himself. He’s often very disrespectful to our parents and sometimes quite aggressive. This is NOT Matavis. Our parents have tried anything and everything to get him to stop or at least not smoke so much and so often, but nothing has worked. Involving the police is pointless. He’s making some bad choices. He’s not a criminal and we don’t want him to be treated as such. If only he would limit his weed smoking I really think it would help his moods and his temper. Also, last spring Matavis had a seizure while he was at school. He was rushed to Children’s Hospital. They evaluated him and referred him to a neurologist. He had a couple more seizures throughout the few weeks we had to wait until he was able to see the neurologist. It was terrifying. Each time he had one our parents called 911 just to be safe because we still didn’t know what was causing them. Finally, after seeing the neurologist he was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy or JME, which he now takes medication for and will need to take medication for the rest of his life. Since he started taking the medication he hasn’t had any major seizures, thank God, but I know he still worries about it at times. Anyway, the doctor has recommended that Matavis avoid smoking weed as he is concerned that doing so may trigger a seizure even if he is taking his medication. It hasn’t happened yet, so Matavis thinks it never will – he’s invincible, like all teenage boys. Ugh. It worries all of us so much. We’ve tried everything but can’t seem to get him to stop or at least reduce how much and how often he smokes.
Especially now that he’s a graduate, I don’t want something as dumb as smoking weed to screw up or get in the way of his future, you know? We all worry, but in my heart, I know that he’ll get through this one way or another and it’s so nice to know that now he’s got even more family to stand with him, encourage him and help him reach his full potential. He truly deserves the very best that life has to offer.
I’m sorry for the incredibly long message, I could talk about Matavis forever! Anyway, I look forward to getting to know you and your family.
All the best,
Sara Kubiak
I have always had a special bond with Matavis, my little peanut. Even though he’s a heck of a lot taller than me and an incredible young man-not …show more content…
a little boy anymore, he’s still my little peanut and he always will be. Of course, I’m not the only one who adores him-our whole family does. In fact, just about anyone that meets him can’t help but notice what a very special person he is. To know Matavis is to love Matavis. He’s got so much heart. He’s so kind, caring and compassionate. He is the deepest thinker and has a brilliant mind.
Matavis can be very shy sometimes, but it doesn’t take too long for him to open up.
At the same time Matavis can be very outgoing. Many times, he and I have been out at a store or something and I’ll find him talking to someone and I’ll ask him who that is or how he knows them and he’ll tell me that he doesn’t know them, he was just asking them something or telling them he likes their tattoos or shoes or something. He’s also been known to hug random ‘grandmas’ just because they looked like they needed a hug. See what I mean? He’s a …show more content…
sweetheart.
Of course I’m biased but I think Matavis is such a handsome guy! Those eyes and eyelashes and that smile? Come on! He is a heartbreaker for sure! He’s always been adorable. If you want pictures of Matavis through the years I’ve got you covered! I have so very many pics of him from when he was a little baby all the way to today. That boy is so photogenic I don’t think there’s a bad picture of him at all. He’s always been too cute! It’s amazing how much he looks like his mom. They both have that beautiful, contagious smile that just makes their whole face glow and you can’t help but smile when you see theirs.
I was only able to meet your sister a couple times, but in those few short meetings it was easy to see that she was a kind, loving, caring, bright woman with so much heart. When we learned what happened to her we were devastated. Our hearts broke not only for Matavis, but for your whole family and for the world – the world lost a wonderful woman. Everytime the news would show a picture of Ouithreaun my family would be in tears. We consulted with several psychologists and psychiatrists and other experts to determine when and how would be the appropriate time to tell Matavis what had happened to his mom.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get the chance to tell him the way we wanted to.
Apparently one of my younger siblings who is also adopted was researching her mom and extended family on the internet and for some reason looked up Matavis’ mom and learned what had happened to her. She didn’t come right out and tell Matavis everything, but hinted at enough that it was bothering Matavis and understandably he wanted answers. Things got very serious around Christmas 2016 when he sat my mom down and told her what he knew and asked her to tell him what happened and if she didn’t he was going to look it up on the internet. So not wanting him to find out through the internet, she and I sat down with Matavis and told him what happened to his mom. I can’t put into words how much it hurt to have to tell him that he wouldn’t be able to be reunited with his mom someday, because she was in heaven. Her life was taken by a monster. I could see Matavis’ heart breaking. He cried (which he very rarely does) and expressed his hatred and anger for Ellis. All we could do is answer his questions the best we could, hug him, comfort him and be there for him.
Throughout the years we had told Matavis everything we knew about his mom and how much she loved him but there was only so much that we knew, which is why we are all so thrilled that through you and your family he can learn so much more about her and get to know all of you as
well.
Learning about what happened to his mom has had quite an impact on Matavis, of course. For the last 3-4 years we’ve had a support team for Matavis (and my other 3 siblings who were adopted) to help with things that we couldn’t because we had never been in that situation-like dealing with being adopted, being black and being adopted into a white family, etc. and some anger issues because we wanted him to have everything he needed, every tool he needed to be happy and successful in his life. With all this help in place, it’s still been a pretty rough year-year and a half for Matavis. He had issues at school, mainly fighting – which typically involved sticking up for his family and friends or defending himself when he felt disrespected. Honestly, most kids who have had as many run-ins as he had would’ve been expelled, however, the teachers, faculty and administrators got to know Matavis and could see what a good kid he is and understood that he was dealing with a lot that most of us couldn’t imagine dealing with especially at his age, so they worked with him. They made special arrangements and accommodated him in every way possible so that he could succeed and he sure did. He graduated last week – early! He has made lasting relationships with many teachers, faculty and school district administrators-even the superintendent! They are working on putting together a little graduation celebration at the district office for Matavis. I’ll let you know when it is as soon as we know. They’ve also asked Matavis to please keep in touch with them as they too, have grown to love and care for him so much!
Matavis has got unlimited potential. The only thing standing in his way right now is himself. The last year and a half Matavis has taken up smoking weed. If this was a now and then type of thing, I wouldn’t be so concerned. However, he has started to smoke every single day, several times a day. This has made him become very moody, his temper has become very short and he’s just not himself. He’s often very disrespectful to our parents and sometimes quite aggressive. This is NOT Matavis. Our parents have tried anything and everything to get him to stop or at least not smoke so much and so often, but nothing has worked. Involving the police is pointless. He’s making some bad choices. He’s not a criminal and we don’t want him to be treated as such. If only he would limit his weed smoking I really think it would help his moods and his temper. Also, last spring Matavis had a seizure while he was at school. He was rushed to Children’s Hospital. They evaluated him and referred him to a neurologist. He had a couple more seizures throughout the few weeks we had to wait until he was able to see the neurologist. It was terrifying. Each time he had one our parents called 911 just to be safe because we still didn’t know what was causing them. Finally, after seeing the neurologist he was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy or JME, which he now takes medication for and will need to take medication for the rest of his life. Since he started taking the medication he hasn’t had any major seizures, thank God, but I know he still worries about it at times. Anyway, the doctor has recommended that Matavis avoid smoking weed as he is concerned that doing so may trigger a seizure even if he is taking his medication. It hasn’t happened yet, so Matavis thinks it never will – he’s invincible, like all teenage boys. Ugh. It worries all of us so much. We’ve tried everything but can’t seem to get him to stop or at least reduce how much and how often he smokes.
Especially now that he’s a graduate, I don’t want something as dumb as smoking weed to screw up or get in the way of his future, you know? We all worry, but in my heart, I know that he’ll get through this one way or another and it’s so nice to know that now he’s got even more family to stand with him, encourage him and help him reach his full potential. He truly deserves the very best that life has to offer.
I’m sorry for the incredibly long message, I could talk about Matavis forever! Anyway, I look forward to getting to know you and your family.
All the best,
Sara Kubiak