My Grandma's Negative Effects On My Body

Have you ever hear someone say, “Does she look pretty?” to another person about you? I have hear people say that, but I never believe them. The effects of my grandma’s negative comments about my body like I watch what I eat more than normal, my self-esteem is more sensitive, I do not talk or go see my grandma anymore. There are several effects of grandma’s negative behavior had on me about my body.
One effect is watching what I eat more than normal. My grandmother would have me eat more then I should eat. She would tell me why I eat so much. Therefore, I would eat to make her happy, but I end up gaining weight. Like said in Rowing the Bus,” I knew, before I stepped onto the field or court, that I would do something clumsy or foolish and that
everyone would laugh at me.” My grandmother tells me that I started to look chubby. She made me feel bad about myself so I watched what I eat. In Rowing the Bus says,” I feared of humiliation so much that I became skillful at feigning illnesses to get out of gym class.” When she would tell me to eat, I would tell her I already ate so she would not judge me about eating. In Rowing the Bus says,” For four years, from second through fifth grade, I prayed nightly for God to give me school days in which I would not be insulted ,embarrassed, or made to feel ashamed.”

Another effect is my self-esteem is more sensitive about my body. On Christmas in 2014, I was wearing a pale pink with gold sprinkles and my grandma came up to me and said the dress makes you look fatter. I felt hurt about my grandma’s comment on how I looked. In Barbie Doll says, “Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said: you have great big nose and fat legs.”
I cry my eyes out because I was so hurt about what my grandmother said my body. In Barbie Dolls says,” She was healthy, tested intelligent, possessed strong arms and back, abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.” I would think to myself I so fat that why I never meet anyone who really cares about me truly. I try dieting and going to the gym to lose the weight that made me look fat, and it would take a very long time to lose the weight. In Barbie Doll says,” She was advised to play coy, exhorted to come on hearty, exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.”
The most important effect is that I do not talk or visit my grandmother often.
I would not talk to my grandmother often because she always had negative comments about me. She would compared me to other girls. It would make me think of being fat and not skinny like all the other girls I see. In Swimming Pool says ,” Does it make her happy that she has no need, right now, of ingratiation, of acting fool to salve her loneliness?” when I talk to my grandma she never look at positive features of my body. She would say my curves are too big. It made me want to hide my curves by wear loose shirts and dresses. In Swimming Pool says,” she is like the lower middle class, that fatal group handed crumbs so they can drop a few down lower, to the poor, so they won’t kill the rich.” I do not talk to my grandma because every time I talk to her she makes me feel like I am not good enough for anyone. In Swimming Pool says” All around the apt. swimming pool there is what’s everywhere: forsakenness and fear, a disdain for those beneath us rather that a rage against the ones above: the exploiters, the oblivious and unabashedly cruel.” I do not feel comfortable anymore to show my body in a swimsuit or in a nice dress because I am remind of my body not being perfect like
other.

The effects of my grandmother’s negative behavior are I watch what I eat more than before, my self-esteem is sensitive, and I do not go see or talk to my grandma.
Quote: Like States in Rowing the Bus,” No one should have to row the bus.”